And if my new home had seemed a little less cozy in the harsh morning light than it had by the glow of the lanterns the night before, I was in a better place to square my shoulders and get on with it, even if that meant using the dreaded composting toilet and showering with my new camping equipment. Since the solar panels hadn’t had time to work overnight, I cheated and warmed two gallons of water on my stove to use in the shower. The result might not have been the kind of experience I’d have had at a five-star hotel, but it did the job.
What I hadn’t taken into consideration was that I couldn’t use my blow dryer. After a little bit of deliberation, I managed a French braid, which looked neat and efficient even if it wasn’t the most flattering style.
At the hospital, I bit the bullet and stopped at Mrs. Hoskins’ office, hoping to mend some fences so that we could be in a better place going forward. She wasn’t in; an aide told me that the head nurse was in a meeting downstairs. If I felt a little bit relieved that I didn’t have to deal with the dragon lady right away, it was tempered by the realization that I’d have to face her sooner or later.
I stopped at both nurses’ stations and introduced myself to the staff members who were there. Most of them were welcoming and enthusiastic, eager to invite me to eat lunch with them and to be part of the book club Jenny had mentioned to me. I began to feel a little more wanted and accepted.
After taking some time to review files and catch up with any patient changes from over the weekend, I decided to spend the morning meeting the patients I hadn’t gotten around to seeing yesterday. Jenny wasn’t in yet, as she had the later shift today—lucky girl!—but the other nurse practitioner, Darcy, offered to make the rounds with me.
By the time we broke for lunch, I felt more optimistic and excited about this new job than I had the day before. Most of the people I’d spoken with were interested in the new angles I brought to their care. A couple were more cautious than others, but that was to be expected; I’d learned long ago that many patients preferred to trust what they saw as more reliable science, even when I could offer alternatives that were less likely to make them feel sick or were more likely to bring results.
I’d discovered that it took time and patience to build their trust—and that was the method I intended to use here at St. Agnes. I just had to make sure that the rest of the staff gave me space to let that happen.
After lunch, I poked my head into the head nurse’s office again. This time, she was sitting at her desk, frowning at a computer screen.
I cleared my throat. “Excuse me, Mrs. Hoskins. Sorry for interrupting—do you have a moment?”
Her eyes flickered to me, and her mouth tightened. “Of course, Ms. Carson. Come in.”
I bit the inside of my lip. There was no doubt in my mind that she’d deliberately avoided calling me Dr. Carson.Baby steps, I reminded myself. One hurdle at a time.
Standing behind one of the straight-backed chairs across from her desk—she’d invited me in, but she hadn’t asked me to sit—I drew in a deep breath. “I wanted to apologize for yesterday. I had had a rough beginning to my day—but that wasn’t your fault. I may have . . . spoken rashly. I want to workwitheveryone here on the oncology wing. I don’t have any intention of pushing my own agenda or getting my way. But I’m sure it didn’t come across like that at first . . . and I’m sorry.”
The very words tasted bitter on my tongue. I’d wanted to add in there that chasing me down the hall and berating me loudly in front of my new co-workers hadn’t been helpful, either, but since I was trying to build bridges, not walls, I refrained from saying that.
Mrs. Hoskins stared at me silently for a long moment before she exhaled a long breath. “I’m sure I have my own apologies to make. I tend to be slightly overprotective of Dr. Girard’s work at times. You have to understand . . . so many of us have poured our hearts and souls into this project.” She paused. “Still, you were not given the type of welcome that you should have. With Dr. Girard out of the country, I’m stretched thin just now. But I should have taken you around, introduced you to everyone . . . provided you with the same orientation we offer to everyone else. Instead, you were tossed into the deep end without any warning.”
Tension eased from my shoulders. “Thank you, Mrs. Hoskins. I appreciate that. Maybe we can forget yesterday and let today be a new beginning.”
She inclined her head. “I think we can manage that.” Leaning her forearms on her desk, she sighed and added, “Please call me Mira. Now, you said you had a rough beginning to your day yesterday. Is there anything I can do? I know just about everyone in town, if this has to do with your housing or the move down here.”
I recalled with a bit of lingering resentment that the infamous Bobby Lucas was her cousin. Still, I doubted that ol’ Bobby was going to do anything for me, even with the influence of his relative.
“Thanks, but I figured it out. Jenny Ward was a big help.” I decided that giving my new friend a little recognition wasn’t a bad idea.
“Oh, yes, Jenny’s a gem.” Mira smiled. “And wait until you meet her boyfriend, Nico. Such a handsome young man, and my, is he in love with her! He just glows when they’re together.”
I raised one eyebrow. That was an interesting perspective from someone who had no idea that the relationship between the two was one Jenny thought was one-sided. Maybe there was more to the situation than she realized.
“I have another meeting in about ten minutes.” The head nurse made a face. “With Deacon—uh, Dr. Girard, that is—away, I’m covering all of his administrative duties. But maybe Monday morning, you and I could have coffee together and discuss any questions you might have. We could come to a meeting of the minds about your role here.”
“I’d like that.” I pushed off from the chair and stepped back. “I think this afternoon, I’m going to check in with the patients I met yesterday. I find that sometimes, just visiting and listening gives me more insight into what I can do to make things better.”
A nerve twitched in Mira’s cheek. “That’s fine, but for now, I would ask that you refrain from promising changes to their care without consulting with me first. In the absence of Dr. Girard, I mean.”
Irritation twisted my gut. I wanted to ask her if she’d require the same accountability from someone she considered a ‘real’ doctor, but deciding I wouldn’t like that answer, I responded as innocuously as I could manage.
“I certainly don’t mind consulting with you until I’ve gotten into the swing of things around here.” Before she could realize that I hadn’t really acquiesced and call me on it, I began to move swiftly out of her office. “Thanks, Mira. I’ll see you on Monday.”
Once out in the corridor, I didn’t stop moving until I’d reached the far corner of the oncology wing where the solarium was located. It was a wide, spacious room with windows covering both outside walls. Sofas, loveseats, lounges and other chairs were scattered throughout, offering a space that felt open while protecting patients from the elements. I’d only seen the room in passing the day before, but now, it seemed like a perfect spot to gather myself back together before I began seeing patients again.
“You look like you’ve just run from the devil.” A teasing voice came from behind me. “Don’t tell me you’ve been sparring with Mrs. Hoskins again.”
I glanced over my shoulder, smiling at the slender young woman who was curled on a chaise lounge. Angela Spencer wore a long cotton dress with a huge hoodie over it. She’d told me yesterday that even the softest sweats or yoga pants chafed her back since she’d lost weight over the course of her illness, so she’d defaulted to what she called granny house dresses. From the size of it, I guessed that her hoodie belonged to her husband.
“Not so much sparring today.” I sat down in the chair across from Angela. “And if you heard about that, I’m guessing your husband tattled on me.”
She grinned. “I wouldn’t call it tattling so much as a full report. He told me that he’d met you on his way in to see me, and he said you were having a rough day.”
