“She’s doing okay, though, right?” Carrie frowned at me.
“Yeah. She’s in remission, but she still has to be careful.”
An awkward silence fell over us. Quinn had stepped back away from her mother and balanced on the balls of her feet. She was wearing sandals with high heels, and I could tell she was trying to keep them from sinking into the ground. Nate watched her so intently that I was pretty sure his eyes were going to bore a hole right through her. Neither of them looked my way.
“I better go find my parents.” I forced a smile. “I’m sure we’ll see you around.”
“Oh, wait!” Sheri laid a hand on my chest, stopping me. “I want to get a picture of you three before everyone heads off in different directions.” She pulled out her phone and gave Nate a little nudge. He hesitated before he ambled over to stand next to me.
Quinn took longer. She was gripping her square cap in one hand, playing with the silky tassels with the other, and her lips tightened.
“Honey, get in the picture. C’mon, we want something we can put in a frame next to your first-day-of-kindergarten photo.” Quinn’s mother turned her daughter by the shoulders. “There you go. No, Quinn, you get in the middle. It looks better that way.”
I wanted to laugh at that. Yup, no doubt Quinn should be in the middle in a picture, because that was where she always was. In the middle, between Nate and me. Our buffer, and the one heart each of us wanted. As though he could hear my thoughts, Nate fastened his eyes on me over Quinn’s head, only turning away when his mom instructed us to all look at the camera.
“Get a little closer, you guys. Geez, you’d think you didn’t know each other.” Sheri motioned to Quinn. After a moment’s pause, Quinn and I both moved closer, until the side of her body was pressed up against mine. Even through the layers of clothing and robes, I could feel the heat of her. And my dick hardened, making me grateful for the first time all day that I was wearing the stupid robe.
I took totally advantage of the situation, sliding my arm around Quinn’s waist and snugging her to me. If I had to go through hell, so did she. She stiffened for a moment, and then it felt as though she melted into me. I felt her exhale, and her eyes drifted shut briefly.
“Okay, say ... graduation day!”
Both Sheri and Carrie took a bunch of pictures before they let us go. I was amazed that they didn’t feel the thick tension that surrounded Nate, Quinn and me; we didn’t joke around or laugh the way we used to. We didn’t even talk to each other except when Quinn lost her balance for a second and clung to my arm, muttering, “Sorry.”
“Me, too.” I breathed out the words, but I wasn’t sure if she heard them or not.
When the parents were finally finished, Quinn didn’t lose any time putting distance between us. I bit down on the inside of my cheek until I tasted blood, just to dull the ache of her loss. Again.
“I’ll send these to your mom, Leo.” Carrie stood on her tiptoes to kiss my cheek. “Give her my love. And listen, kiddo, don’t be a stranger. I know you’re a big shot college football player now, but don’t forget who used to change your diapers.”
Sheri laughed. “That’s true, and same goes.” Her eyes traveled over the three of us, and for the first time, she seemed to be picking up on the awkwardness. “You three ... you’ve been friends too long to let anything come between you. I hope you realize that. This is your last summer together before you all go your separate ways. Don’t ... just don’t waste it.” She blinked, and Mark slid his arm around her shoulder, pulling her to him. I remembered what I’d overheard when Nate had been in the hospital last year—We don’t know how long we have him here with us—and I felt like scum. Here I was resenting Nate, and it was possible that he was living on borrowed time. I swallowed hard and turned to him, offering my hand.
He stared at me for a beat before gripping it firmly. I had the feeling he was letting me know this didn’t change anything. Still, I held his gaze, willing myself to see no one but my old friend in front of me, instead of the guy who’d helped talk me into a decision that had basically destroyed my life. He gave me a little nod just before he released my hand.
After that, it would’ve been weird if I hadn’t turned to Quinn. She lifted her face to me, and for the first time in months, her eyes actually met mine, open and vulnerable. I wanted to look into those eyes forever. I wanted to sweep her into my arms and tell her I’d been a fucking idiot to ever let her get away, no matter how messed up I was, no matter how many times I’d told myself I was doing it for her.
I wanted to tell her how much I still loved her.
But I didn’t. She let me pull her into a hug—shorter than I wanted it to be, but probably longer than made her comfortable. And then she pushed gently at my chest and moved away from me.
“See you around.”
It was clearly my cue to exit, stage left. I sketched a wave to the parents and pushed my way through all the people, heading toward the bleachers. I saw my dad standing at the railing, waving to me, and my mom, sitting on a bench next to him, beaming.
I’d just about reached them when I was body-slammed from the right side. Matt grinned at me and smacked me on the back of the head with his graduation cap.
“Dude, we did it! We’re done.” He wrapped one arm around my neck and squeezed, nearly choking the life out of me. “Come on! Let’s get out of here.”
I ducked away from him. “I gotta go see my mom and dad first. I’ll talk to you later, okay? I’ll text you, and we’ll meet up at a party or something.”
Matt studied me for a few minutes. A frown creased his forehead. “What’s going on, Taylor?” He cast a glance toward my parents and lowered his voice. “Is it ... is your mom okay?”
“Yeah, man. She’s fine. I just—” I rubbed a hand over my face. “I’m tired. I need to chill a little bit, catch up with my parents, do the family thing.” I punched his shoulder. “I promise, I’ll get with you tonight. We’ll knock back some beers.”
“And this weekend, right? Down the shore? You’re in?” He was watching me closely. “It’s going to be epic. It’ll make you forget all about ...” Matt jerked his head in the direction I’d come from, and I knew he was talking about Quinn. “Distant memory, Lion. We’ll make it happen.”
I forced a grin. “Forgetting all about high school isn’t going to take much, bro. I’m there. We’ll drive down together, okay? I’ll text you.”
Matt nodded. “You got it. Later, man.”
