“Yes. They’re both older than me, and they’re both artists. Jordan paints and Lila’s a photographer.”
“Ah.” I smiled. “You have their work on your wall, don’t you?”
She glanced over her shoulder. “Yes. That’s Jordan’s Shenandoah series, and the seashore pics were a gift from my sister. She took them when we were together at the beach a few summers back.”
“It’s really beautiful.” I was honestly impressed. “They’re talented.”
“Yep. Jordan and Lila are the family successes. I’m the one none of them understand. They think I’m crazy to enjoy working in a kitchen. My dad tried to talk me into going to law school, but I just—” She halted. “Sorry. Geez, I don’t know where the hell that came from.” She passed me the water, climbing onto the bed to reach me.
“Hey.” I covered her hand where it was still wrapped around the cold bottle. “It’s okay. Sometimes it’s easier to open up to a stranger than it is to people you know. I don’t mind.”
“Yeah, well ... I do.” She swallowed and stared over my shoulder. “When I do hook-ups, it’s not to open up and share all my deepest, darkest thoughts. It’s to work off sexual tension, have as many orgasms as I can and then walk away with no questions asked and no hard feelings. I don’t need to tell you about my family or hear about yours. None of that matters, because we’re never going to see each other again.”
I felt the impact of her words like a series of slaps to my face. The fact that I knew she was right didn’t change that.
“I didn’t ask you to hear your life story or even for a second date. I just ...” I waved one hand. “Just said it was okay to vent about your family a little, if you wanted.” I grasped her wrist and pulled until she lost balance and fell onto her back on the mattress, lying alongside me. “I’ve spent more time inside your body tonight than outside it. I don’t think a chat about stuff that drives you crazy is going to make us any closer. Opening up isn’t weakness, you know.”
“Thanks for the psychoanalysis, but it’s not necessary. I’m good. I’ve got plenty of friends who I can vent to. So ...” Harper rolled away from me, sat up and slid off the bed again, this time moving quickly across the room to her closet. I watched in silence as she shoved one arm and then the other into a white cotton robe, knotting the belt around her waist. She picked up her phone from the dresser and made a show of checking the time. “Wow, it’s almost three.” She yawned hugely. “I don’t mean to kick you out, but ...”
“Yeah, you do.” I reached for my boxers at the end of the bed. “But don’t worry. Just because I was making conversation doesn’t mean I’m suddenly falling for you and wanting more. I’m not going to beg you to let me sleep over. I’m cool with everything just like we said it would be.”
“Great. I’m glad. I don’t know why you’re getting so huffy about it.” She crossed her arms again.
“I’m not the one getting huffy, sugar.Yougot all uptight, but it had nothing to do with anything I did. You’re pissed at yourself because you got comfortable and almost started opening up.” I stood up and tugged on my pants. “It happens, Harper. We had sex tonight. We were as close as two people can be, and even when that doesn’t mean it’s going to lead to promises and forever, it’s natural that you’d be a little ...” I paused, searching for the right word as I zipped up and buttoned my pants. “Vulnerable.”
“I don’t feelvulnerable.” She all but snapped out the word, as though it were distasteful on her tongue. “Listen, Jake, tonight was fun. I had a good time, I had some lovely orgasms, and I’m appreciative of that. But I’m pretty sure I gave as good as I got. We both knew what we wanted going into tonight, before we even left the bar, and now it’s over. Time for you go home—or wherever you want to go—and time for me to get some sleep. I don’t want to argue with you over something that doesn’t really matter, since we’re not friends, we’re not lovers and our time together is ending now.” Bending, she retrieved my shirt from the floor and tossed it to me. “Do you want me to call you a cab? Or will you arrange for a RideIt?”
“I’ll take care of it.” I found my phone still in the back pocket of my pants, and bringing up the app for RideIt, I stabbed at the buttons, requesting a ride. Whether or not anyone would be around to drive me back to post at this time of the morning was doubtful, and even if I did get as far as the guard shack, I’d have to hoof it to the barracks from there, since it was unlikely the driver would have a military ID and thus wouldn’t be allowed onto Fort Lee. That realization made me cancel the request and open a browser to look for a cab company.
While the site came up, I finished buttoning my shirt, tucking it into my waistband. Harper had turned her back to me and was scrolling through her own phone, the very image of casual indifference. Still, I could tell from the stiff set of her shoulders that she was tense and anxious for me to get the hell out of her apartment.
“I’m going to wait outside.” I stalked around her bed, pausing for a moment by where she stood. “You want to come lock the door behind me? You need to set the deadbolt.”
“I know what I have to do. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.” She turned, her face blank and shuttered. “You’re welcome to stay inside until your ride gets here.”
“No, thanks. I think I’d be warmer outside.” It was a low blow, and I felt a twinge of guilt when I saw her wince. “And I don’t want to inconvenience you in any way.”
“Thanks.”
We walked to her front door in silence. I turned the lock, remembering with an odd pang how I’d felt when I’d locked it about six hours ago. I’d been on fire then, dying to get my hands on this woman who now stood a few feet away. It hadn’t been at all awkward then, but now that it was over—now that we’d fucked and she’d finished with me—there was nothing whatsoever comfortable about it.
“Uh, well, thanks. I hope ...” I stopped talking. What did I hope? That she had a nice life? That maybe we ran into each other again someday and could have a repeat performance? At that idea, my dick stirred a little.Down, boy, I chided it.Ain’t gonna happen.
“Yeah.” Harper’s tongue darted out, running between her lips. “No need for thanks. Tonight was ... mutually beneficial, I think.”
“I guess so.” I felt weird offering her my hand, but she clearly wasn’t coming in for a hug. “See you around.”
She took my hand, squeezed it once and released it. “Yep. Get home safe. I’m going to bed now—well, to sleep—but if your ride doesn’t show or something, just knock on the door or ring the bell.”
“I’m good.” I took a deep breath and opened the door. “Bye.”
Outside, the air was damp and heavy, with a good measure of chill still in it. I found the number for the cab company and called, speaking low so as not to disturb any of Harper’s neighbors. I wondered if they were used to seeing an assortment of men leaving her apartment in the middle of the night, and then I immediately felt bad for thinking that. After all, if I’d had a house where I could be alone with chicks, there would have been a steady stream of different women leaving my front door on the weekends, and I wouldn’t have regrets about that. Why was it so different when it was a woman who could be perceived as promiscuous? My older sisters would kick my ass for thinking that way.
As I waited for the taxi to show, I felt strangely off-kilter. Usually after a hook-up, I was full of energy and happy to get out of the woman’s bedroom. I was always relieved when there wasn’t a scene or the almost-inevitable questions:Will you call me? Can we do this again?Tonight should’ve been my dream come true. I’d had some of the most creative, mind-shattering, intense sex of my life, and the woman who’d shared it with me hadn’t expected a damn thing from me afterward, other than for me to get out of her house and let her sleep. Like Harper had pointed out, we’d gotten exactly what we both wanted.
Why the hell did I feel so empty and alone, then?
A bright yellow cab rounded the corner, slowing at the curb in front of me. I climbed into the back seat and told the driver that I needed to go to the bachelor officers’ quarters on Fort Lee. He nodded with a slight smile, and we pulled off into the night. With every ticking of the meter, I told myself that I’d be fine once I got back on post and slept a little.
I hoped I was right.
