Come to Meby The Goo Goo Dolls
Thanks to the security team that we’d hired to keep the media and the curious public at bay, I could only barely see the people lining the perimeter of the roped-off section of the beach. I knew they were there, but it was okay; today of all days, I wanted to share all of my happiness with everyone and anyone.
Behind me, the folding chairs that had been arranged on the portable wooden floor—and who knew they had such things!—were filled with our loved ones. We had quite a crowd, for what we’d both termed asmall, intimate wedding, but then we were very blessed with both friends and family.
My mother sat in the front row, flanked by Joe and Lisa on one side and Mark and Sheri on the other. Leo and I had dispensed with the silly idea of the bride’s side and groom’s side. We shared so many friends that making them choose which one of us to support would have been crazy. And our parents had decreed early on that they were all going to sit together, forming a united front.
The very first chair in the front row, in the same row where our parents sat, was empty. On it, I’d laid a single white rose, tied with a green ribbon, along with a sand dollar Nate had found on the beach and given to me when we were all in high school and a tiny toy train that the three of us had played with as children, a million years ago, in another lifetime. Threaded onto the ribbon around the rose was the simple gold wedding band Nate had slid on my finger over two years before.
It was Nate’s seat, and I knew he was here.
Leo and I had walked down the aisle together, hand in hand, breaking with tradition once again. I didn’t want to be given away without my dad here to do it. My mother had offered, as had Joe and even Mark. I’d refused. If my daddy couldn’t do it, no one would. And Leo and I hadn’t hidden from each other before the service had begun, either. We’d been living together since the previous fall, and I wasn’t interested in creating any false illusions. I’d given Leo my virginity seven years before, and I’d never regretted it for a moment. I wanted to stride joyfully together into this next phase of our lives, not pretend to be something that we weren’t.
Leo had asked that we be given a few minutes of privacy before we left the beach house to walk down the beach to the tent, and as we’d stood together on the deck, he’d handed me an envelope. I recognized the writing on it and glanced up at Leo, my eyebrows drawn together.
“The last time I saw Nate, right here in this house, he gave this to me for you. He said you were supposed to read it on our wedding day. I don’t know what it says. I never opened it.”
With hands that shook a little, I tore open the top of the envelope and pulled out a single sheet of paper.
Dear Quinn,
You’re beautiful today. How do I know this? Because you’re beautiful every day. I can just imagine what you must look like today, a bride about to marry the man she’s loved as long as she can remember.
I hope I said this about a thousand times before I left, Quinn, but thank you for what you did for me. Thank you for loving me as much as you could, as your friend and even as your husband. Thank you for all the times you sacrificed for me. Being your husband has been the best part of my life, and I want you to always remember that you gave me what no one else could.
I know that you and Leo are going to be wildly happy, and I know you’re going to be together forever. There has always been a kind of rightness about you two, even when I didn’t want to see it. Now that I’m gone, I’m glad that you have each other.
Never doubt that I’m there with you. When you stand up in front of everyone and say your vows to each other, I’m standing up with you. I’m the one with the biggest smile in the crowd. I’m the first one to kiss the new Mrs. Taylor and say congratulations. I’m the one who gives the embarrassing toast about Leo. I’ll always be with you, Quinn, as close as your favorite memory of me.
Embrace your happiness. You both earned every bit of it. Be happy, and don’t be afraid. Love each other with abandon. Say what’s on your mind all the time, because you know that’s the best way.
I love you, Quinn. I always have, and I always will. On that day in the far distant future when you and Leo join me on the other side, I’ll be waiting for you both. The Trio will never really end.
~Nate
I’d cried, of course, but they were the most cleansing, happiest of tears. Leo gripped my shoulder as he’d read, too.
“God, I miss him. I didn’t know how much I would.” His voice was rough with emotion.
“He’s here. I don’t have any doubt at all.”
When Leo and I had told my mom where we wanted to have the wedding, she’d frowned at me. “Are you sure you want to do that, Quinn? After ... Nate, I don’t want you to get married some place with bad memories.”
I’d shaken my head. “I want to have the wedding where I have the best memories of Nate, Mom. I’m not trying to forget him. I never will, and neither will Leo. When I think of the beach, I remember the three of us playing there. I remember us hanging out there together in high school and in college. And I know Nate was happier here than he ever was. Why wouldn’t I want to start our new life on the foundation of that happiness?”
We stood now at the front of the canopy with the minister between us. A breeze rippled through, blowing my long white cotton dress to swirl around our legs. Leo smiled down at me, squeezing my hands, and I grinned back. His eyes flickered over my shoulder, and then back to me, and one eyebrow rose.
I knew what he saw beyond me. We’d specifically chosen this spot, just down the beach from the house, right near where our under-the-boardwalk tryst had taken place. It was part of our history, and like every other episode in our past, it was the foundation upon which we were building our forever.
The minister cleared his throat and inclined his head toward Leo. It was time for our vows.
“I, Leo, take you, Mia Quinn, to be my own, now and forever. You have been my best friend since you drew your first breath, and you will be my best friend until I draw my last. I will spend every day of my life showing you how much I love you, in everything I do and say. I promise no regrets, only truth. I promise that you will come first in my life, no matter what. And I swear that you will always be the only woman to wear my jersey.”
There was a wave of tittering laughter in the congregation, but Leo didn’t look away from me.
“I love you, Mia Quinn. Loving you is the best choice I ever made, and it’s one I will make every day, for the rest of our lives.”
I’d sworn that I wouldn’t cry anymore. This was the happiest day of my life, and I didn’t have room for tears. But as Leo’s words swept over me, I felt a lump rising in my throat, just in time for the minister to turn to me.
