“I was remembering the last time I was at your house.”
“Ah.” The hand moved up a little more, and his fingers curled slightly. “That was one of the worst nights of my life. You have no idea how hard it was not to say—stay. Be with me. Marry me. I wanted to. I didn’t sleep that night, knowing you were just down the hall, feeling like I’d rejected you.”
“At the time, those words were what I thought I wanted you to say. Now, I’m so grateful you didn’t. Thank you for being strong when I couldn’t be.” I laid my hand on top of his, pressing my palm against his knuckles, thinking how easy it would be to coax those fingers just a little further ...
“The next night, I got drunker than I had since Matt died. I had to do anything to forget, you know? To wipe away the memory of you crying.” He shuddered. “I know Nate was right. I know we needed time to figure out why things went wrong before and to be sure we really were ready to be together, but I never want to go through that again.”
“Me, neither.” I paused. “Although I don’t think we’ve worked through everything. I was thinking, when Ellie and I were waiting for you today, that even though I apologized for doing it, I never told you how wrong I was to leave you that summer in Carolina.”
“I thought we weren’t doing regrets.” We pulled up to the guard gate, and Leo stopped to roll down the window and show his ID to the attendant, who lifted the gate for us.
“This isn’t regret. This is an explanation and you understanding why I freaked out. We call that growth.” I winked at him.
“All right, then. Go ahead. You explain, I’ll understand, and we’ll both grow.” He turned into his driveway, but neither of us made a move to get out of the car yet.
“That summer ... it was wonderful, beyond words. But when the media stuff started getting out of hand, I didn’t know how to handle it. Part of me wanted you to be with me all the time, to tell the world that I was your girlfriend, that you loved me and that everyone else had to back off. I know that’s unrealistic, but ... I was insecure.” I fiddled with the handle of my purse. “Still, I might have stuck it out, but when the college wanted you to do that piece and pretend you didn’t have a girlfriend, to deny that we were together, that hurt. And even though the logical part of my brain understood why you had to go along with it, I wanted you to be more upset. I think that’s why I left. I wanted to see if you’d come after me and prove that you loved me.”
Leo laid his head back against the seat and closed his eyes. “And I wanted you to stay, to prove that you loved me. I told myself that I was giving you time and space, like you’d asked, but the truth was, I was devastated when you walked out. I felt like you’d abandoned me. I’d thought that nothing could tear us apart again, and then you did.”
Tears burned my eyes. “I know we promised no more apologies, but for what it’s worth, the Quinn from back then says she’s sorry to the Leo from back then. And she loves him, and she wishes that she’d never left. She wished every day that she had stayed. She knew she’d made the wrong choice the minute the door closed behind her.”
Leo unbuckled his seat belt, turned off the engine and swiveled in his seat so that his knee bent as he faced me. He cupped the back of my neck with one hand, drawing me close, and with the other, he traced the line of my cheekbone until my eyes slid shut.
“No regrets. Only now. Only forever.”
His lips brushed over mine, softly, and then less gently, he coaxed my mouth open, searing a line of heat from my head down to my core. I was on fire again, and this time, I was ready to burn.
“Take me inside, Leo. Forever starts now.”
