“So ... a year? That’s how long you’re going to be there?” I knew how fast a year could go by. Time could pass in the blink of an eye. But right now, it felt like a fucking eternity.
Quinn hesitated. “I don’t know for sure. I don’t think it’s going to take that long to write the book. Allan already has it outlined, and he knows what he wants to do. But I have the year if I need it, or if I want it.”
“Okay.” That was a tiny sliver of hope at the end of a dark tunnel. Less than a year, then. I could handle that. Couldn’t I? I could be her friend for that long. Shit, all that distance might actually make it possible for us to be friends, when the crazy attraction between us wasn’t such an issue. “But you’ll stay in touch, right? We can text and call?”
“Of course.” She wrapped her arms around herself in that classic Quinn move, hugging her middle. “I’m not going to know a soul out there. I might drive you crazy with all my texts. You might have to block me, or report me as a stalker.”
I managed a crooked smile. “Nah, I’d just have my people file a restraining order. You know, making sure you have to stay at least fifty feet away from me at all times.”
“That wouldn’t really be a problem, since I’m going to be, like, three thousand miles away from you.” Her teeth sank down into her full bottom lip. “I’ve never been that far from you before.”
“Sure you were. Last year, we played at least three games on the West Coast. And I’m pretty certain you were here in New Jersey all that time.”
She sniffled a little. “True, but that wasyougoing away from me. This isme, being away from you and my mom and everyone I know. I’m excited, but I’m also scared shitless.”
I laughed softly. “That’s how these things work. When I first went down to Carolina, remember how scared I was? And same when I went to Richmond the first time. If you’re not terrified at least some of your life, you’re probably not living.”
“I feel like for the last five years, I’ve been just holding on between horrible things.” Quinn dropped her head back so that it bumped gently into the wall. “First my dad dying, and then everything with ... you and me, and then Matt and Nate. I realized the other day that I wake up every morning dreading what’s going to hit me today. I don’t want to be like that. I want to open my eyes, excited about the next adventure, not the next tragedy. I think I’ve had my fill. I want to embrace some happy for a little while.”
“I get that.” I leaned back, too, watching her. “The selfish part of me doesn’t want you to go clear across the country, but the better half of my heart understands. Maybe this time, I’ll actually pay attention to that better half. Hey, do you think that qualifies as growth? Am I becoming a deeper person?”
Quinn giggled, and my heart cracked open. Making her laugh, seeing her smile ... that was what I needed. And dammit, if it took a few months in California to bring back that happier Quinn, I could last that long.
“Maybe you are, Leo. But do me a favor, okay? Don’t change too much. Stay who you are. I’m not sure I can handle more adjustments.”
“I think I can make that promise.” I held open my arms. “So ... one hug for the road? I’m guessing I won’t see you again before you leave. I head back to Richmond on the first flight tomorrow morning.”
“Then ... yes. This is good-bye.” She only hesitated a moment before stepping into my arms.
I wrapped her in a tight hug, letting myself relax and enjoy the rare luxury of her body pressed into mine, her face buried in my chest and her arms twined around my neck. Breathing in her intoxicating Quinn scent, I risked brushing my lips over the top of her head.
“Not good-bye. Just ... talk to you later. Right?”
She nodded, her hair tickling against my chin. I could feel her battling for control, even as a quick sob wracked her.
I dipped my mouth to her ear. “You got this, babe. You can do it. Go out there and make that city your bitch.” I closed my eyes against the threat of tears as I whispered once more.
“Love you, Mia Quinn. Never forget it.”
