“Huh, really? Well, he’s a nice guy.”
I rolled my eyes. “I’ve already been well acquainted with the finer points of Saint Shane, thanks very much.”
Leo nodded his head slowly. “Ah. Okay.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I frowned.
“Just that now I understand why you’re here. You got upset at your mother, and so you came down here, looking for a place where you could run away.”
Leo’s words, spoken so matter-of-factly, struck so close to home that I flinched. “No. That’s not why I’m here.”
One side of his mouth curled a little. “Isn’t it?”
“No, in fact, it isn’t.” I jumped to my feet. “I came to see you because you’re my friend, my oldest friend, and I was upset. I needed someone I could talk to. I needed a little—” I threw my hands in the air. “I don’t know, some support? A little empathy?”
“You could’ve gone to Zelda or to Gia. They’re both closer to you.” He gazed up at me, his face carefully blank.
My throat tightened. “Closer geographically, but ... I didn’t want them. I wanted to see you. No one else would understand—I mean, dammit, Leo! Do you not get why I’m upset? My mother dropped this bomb on me after everything I’ve been through the last year. All I wanted was a little peace. A little time where nothing changes. Is that asking too much?”
Leo sighed and dropped his head into his hands. “Listen to yourself, Quinn. Your mom ... she didn’t do thistoyou. Think about it. She’s probably been keeping quiet about it for a while, because she didn’t want to upset you. How long did you want her to sit on it? Another month? Six months?”
“Forever works for me,” I snapped.
“Be reasonable.” He smacked his knee. “God, Quinn. You’re an adult. You’re old enough to understand that your mother deserves a little happiness, aren’t you? And what you’ve gone through the last year—it’s not your mom’s fault. She didn’t make that decision.”
My mouth sagged open. “What else was I supposed to do, Leo? Nate asked me to marry him. He told me it was the only thing he wanted. His dying wish. What the fuck was I supposed to say to that?”
“How about a simple no?”
I wanted to stomp my foot like a child. “And then what? What would’ve happened to Nate?”
Leo shrugged. “The same thing that happened to him anyway. I know it sounds heartless, Quinn, but it’s the truth. No one held a gun to your head to marry Nate. The whole situation sucks, for sure. No one’s arguing about that. But don’t bitch about your mother not respecting your need for time and peace when you’re the one who chose to take that step.”
I closed my eyes, pressing my fists to my forehead. “I can’t believe you’re still so mad about this. I thought by now, with Nate ... gone, you’d be over it. I thought we could move on.”
“I don’t think you’re ready to move on yet, Quinn. Have you decided where you’re going to live? Have you gone back to work? Made a plan for what comes next?”
“No,” I growled, glaring at him. “No, I haven’t. I’ve been wallowing for weeks. Is that what you want to hear? I haven’t done anything. Not until today, when I got on a train and came to you.”
Leo blinked up at me. “Why did you come to me, Quinn?”
When I opened my mouth to repeat what I’d said before—that I was upset about my mother’s news—Leo interrupted me. “The truth. Don’t blame your mom or use her as an excuse. I want to know why you came down here to see me. The real reason.”
My eyes burned with tears, and I bit my lip so hard, I thought I might draw blood. It was hard to breathe. I finally croaked out a response.
“I wanted to see you. I wanted to talk to you. I needed to know ... where we stand, you and me. I can’t go on, I can’t make any plans, until I know that. I thought, maybe, that we could figure out some stuff.”
Leo exhaled, rubbing a hand over his face. “Yeah, I was afraid that was it.”
I felt like kicking him. “Then why did you make me say it?”
He lifted one shoulder. “Maybe I needed to hear you say it. I didn’t want to assume you were here for anything more than just a shoulder to cry on.”
The mad that had gripped me began to fade into trepidation. “Is that all you are to me now? Just a shoulder?”
“What else do you want me to be?” There was no inflection in his tone, no hint of what he might be feeling.
“God, Leo, are you really going to make me say it? I want you to be ... more than just my friend. I want us to be who we were.” I dropped down to hunch in front of him, venturing to lay one hand on his knee. “Before Nate and I ... remember last year? At Matt’s funeral? You begged me not to marry Nate. You said we still had a chance. Now we can be together.”
