“Sometimes that’s all I can think about.” I licked a crumb of crust from my lip. “As long as we were deep in the season, I could push it to the background. But I’ve got too much time right now, and I’m going out of my mind.” Laying down my fork, I sat back. “Which makes me feel like shit, because I’m basically waiting out my friend’s death. When I saw Nate this summer, I realized I’ve been so focused on Quinn and how miserable I am that I’d almost forgotten how much I’m going to miss him.”
“You poor thing.” Ellie stood up and came around the table to hug me from behind. “Listen. I know you’re new in town, and I realize you don’t know Corey and me much beyond just a teammate and his wacky wife. But please, think of us as your family down south. If you need someone to talk to or just a place to hang out so you’re not alone ... we’re here.” She ruffled my hair. “I never had a little brother, but I think I could do a decent job as the big sister you never knew you wanted.”
Warmth spread over my chest. “Thanks. I really appreciate that.”
“And if the time comes that Quinn is ... in your life again, I’ll be happy to take her under my wing and help her adjust to life with a football player. It sounds to me like she’s scared and overwhelmed. Maybe she just needs a helping hand. Someone to show her the ropes.” She paused. “And if things don’t work out with Quinn, then we’ll start looking for the right woman for you.” She grinned. “I know atonof eligible women.”
“She’s not exaggerating. She really does.” Corey began counting off on his fingers. “There’re all the girls she’s still in touch with from high school. And then there are her sorority sisters from Virginia State. And then the women she works with now, from her job and on all the charities she helps.”
I nodded. “I’ll keep that in mind. But I’m not ready to give up yet. I have to believe Mia and I haven’t blown our last chance.”
“Mia?” Ellie’s brow wrinkled.
“Ah ... yeah. Her full name is Amelia Quinn, after her grandmother, and when we were little, her mom would call her that sometimes. I couldn’t say it—when I tried, it came out Mia Quinn. So that’s always been my special name for her.”
“Oh ... my ... God. That’s just about the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard.” Ellie pressed her lips together, and I was pretty sure she was getting teary-eyed. “Okay, forget about the other women. I havegotto meet this girl, and if the two of you don’t end up together, eventually, it’s going to break my heart, too.”
“You heard her.” Corey scrubbed at his mouth with a napkin and threw an arm around his wife. “Ellie’s kind of spooky like that. She says something’s going to happen, and it almost always does.”
“I wish that was true.” She smiled at her husband, the kind of expression I recognized and instantly envied, because it reminded me of how Quinn looked at me sometimes. Or used to look at me. Ellie threaded her fingers through Corey’s and cast me a half-apologetic glance that said she knew what I was thinking.
“I guess I feel like Corey and I were so lucky to find each other early and always be together that I want that for everyone else. I wish everyone could be as happy as we are.”
“Thanks.” I stabbed a juicy cherry with my fork and stuck it into my mouth. “I’d just be glad for one more chance to prove to Quinn that we’re supposed to be together. At the same time, I’m scared shitless that I’ll screw it up again.”
“As much as I’d like to say you should go for it as soon as you can, I gotta say, man ... maybe your friend Nate’s got a point. If you want to make sure you two have the best shot, it’s possible Quinn needs some time to get over everything.” Corey turned his head and brushed his lips over Ellie’s cheek. “Remember after your accident, babe? That was a tough time.”
“It was.” Ellie nodded, leaning on Corey as she looked at me. “When we were sophomores in college, I was in a car accident. A bunch of my friends and I were driving home from an away game, and we were hit by an old man who’d fallen asleep at the wheel. The girl driving the car I was in was killed, and I was in the hospital for almost a month, and then in rehab for another three weeks. It was the worst few months of my life.”
“And afterward, she wasn’t the same for a while.” Corey tucked her more securely under his chin. “Neither of us was. I was mad as hell, but I couldn’t figure out who to hit, you know? And El here, she cried at the drop of a hat, and my girl’s not a weeper. I was frustrated that I could never say the right thing—or it felt that way—and she was scared I might leave her.” He huffed out a breath. “As if.”
“We finally talked to a counselor, and that helped. And I had to take some breathing room to get over everything that had happened. That wasn’t easy, because I didn’t want Corey to think I was running away fromhim—I wasn’t—I just needed to get my head screwed on straight again.”
“Yeah, I see.” I turned my plate in small revolutions, staring at the tiny flowers that adorned the edges. “I want to say you’re wrong. I want to say Nate’s wrong, but the bottom line is that I’m going to do anything and everything to get it right this time. So if Quinn has to wait a few months before we can give it a try, I’ll try to be patient.”
“If you need help or advice, we’re here.” Corey winked at me.
“Hey, if you guys keep treating me this good, I’ll be over every night. Hell, I’ll move in.” I laughed and pushed myself back from the table a little. “But for now, I think I need to hit the road. I’m going in for a training session first thing in the morning, and five thirty AM isn’t going to feel good if I stay out too late tonight.”
“True enough.”
Corey retrieved my coat from the hall closet, and Ellie gathered me into a quick hug. “You remember what I said. You know the way now. Don’t forget to use it.”
“Thanks again for everything. You two are the best.” I waved over my shoulder as I jogged down the front concrete steps to where my car waited at the curb. It was cold, and when I breathed in, I thought I smelled snow. We hadn’t had any down here yet ... and the way the locals carried on about the possibility of it, I wondered if they knew how to deal with the white stuff.
I let the car warm up for a few minutes while I checked my phone. Sitting in that warm and welcoming house with Cory and his beautiful wife had made me homesick for something I’d never known. It had made me more sharply aware of how much I missed Quinn and how badly I wanted her with me. I wanted her to organize my mostly-sparse kitchen, to change around the living room, to put her makeup and hair crap all over the bedroom and bathroom ... I wanted to trip over her heels, which she invariably kicked off the minute she came into the house. I just wanted the life I knew we could have.
I opened up my text app and skimmed down to her name. Our last few interactions had been generic and boring—me checking on her every once in a while, and Quinn’s vague answers.Everything’s fine here.That told me nothing.
When I’d played in Philadelphia a few weeks back, I’d had dinner after the game with my parents, Carrie Russell and Mark and Sheri. We’d kept the conversation light, steering away from the Nate and Quinn topic, but my mother had pulled me aside later to say that Nate was going downhill fast. They weren’t sure he’d make it to Christmas.
Yet Quinn had never told me that.
I wasn’t in any state tonight to risk calling her or even texting with her. I knew I’d be too tempted to beg her to ... what? Leave Nate? Let me come to her? Promise me something that neither of us was in a position yet to even mention? No, that would be disastrous.
So instead, I scrolled down until I found the name I was looking for and tapped out a brief message.
Leo:Hey, Zelda. Leo here. Just wondering if you’ve heard from Quinn lately.
