For a moment, he didn’t respond, and I checked the timestamp to see if maybe he’d sent the text earlier and might be napping now. But then the phone buzzed again.
Nate:Kind of urgent. Not a phone call kind of talk.
I sighed as I answered him.
Leo:Okay. Be there Friday late afternoon. Will text when on my way. Your house?
Nate:No, we’re living at the shore. Carrie and Quinn’s house. Thanks. See you then.
I rubbed the edge of the phone, my lips pressed together. A jumpy kind of dread licked at my gut as I debated over what to do. I had a feeling maybe I knew what Nate wanted, why he needed to talk to me. And no matter how much shit had gone down between us, no matter how fucking angry at him I was just now, there was one thing I knew for sure.
I wasn’t ready to say good-bye.
It was a typical August day at the Jersey shore, meaning the sun was hot and the air was humid. In the interest of expediency, I’d hopped a direct flight from Charlottesville to Atlantic City, rented a car and driven down to Ocean City, texting Nate that I was heading his way.
I knew this route well, since my great-aunt had lived in Ventnor when I was growing up, and my family had frequently visited her before we drove down to spend time with the Russells at their shore rental, the same house Carrie now owned, and the same house where apparently Nate and Quinn were currently living.
Nerves were jumping around my stomach at the thought that I might see Quinn today. The last few times we’d talked had not gone well; I’d let my anger get the best of me the day after she married Nate, and at the grocery store on the Fourth of July, I’d skirted out-and-out meanness when I’d let her think Sarah and I were together, as in dating. I’d seen the bleak hurt in her weary eyes, and instantly, I’d felt like the biggest asshole jerk in the world. Anyone could see Quinn was barely holding herself together. I couldn’t imagine what she was dealing with, and I’d gone and made it worse.
Of course, then I’d gotten an earful from Sarah, who’d blasted me all the way back to my parents’ house.
“I only agreed to come up here with you this weekend because I promised my mom I’d come home, and I thought a road trip with you might be fun. I didnotcome up to be used to make Quinn, myfriend, jealous because you’re still sulking. If you pull that shit again, I swear I will never talk to you, the rest of our lives. We’re friends, Leo, and that’s all we’re ever going to be, because you are loopy in love with that girl back there, and I’m not ever going to play consolation prize again. Got it?”
I’d apologized and groveled, and by the time I’d dropped Sarah back in Georgetown, she’d mostly forgiven me. She’d pointed at me as she’d gotten out of the car and instructed me to text Quinn and tell her I was sorry, too, but somehow I’d never gotten around to that, which was a big reason for why, as I approached the house, I was hoping not to see Quinn today.
The driveway was empty, and I pulled in, climbed out of the car and walked slowly across the porch. The front door was open, so I knocked on the screen, peering inside as I called.
“Hello? Anyone home?’
“Come on in, Leo.”
I almost didn’t recognize Nate’s voice, but as I stepped inside, catching the screen door so that it didn’t slam, I saw him lying on the sofa. His hips and legs were covered with a knit afghan, and several pillows were at his back. He was thinner than ever, if that was even possible.
“Hey.” I stood awkwardly, unsure of what to do next. “Uh, did I wake you up?”
“Nah.” Nate shook his head, but he looked exhausted as he blinked, and I wondered if he was having trouble sleeping. “Sit down, okay? So I don’t have to break my neck staring up at you.”
I perched on the edge of the chair nearest the sofa. “This better?”
He nodded. “Much, thanks.” His eyes darted around the room, as though he was looking for his next line. “Thanks for coming up, Leo. It means a lot.”
“Sure.” I glanced around my shoulder. “Is, uh ... is anyone else at home?”
A faint smile played about his lips. “No. Quinn had a meeting in the city for work, and I convinced my mom to go with her. I’m okay by myself for short stretches, and my mother needed the break.” He hastened to add, “They both did.”
“You’re living here now full-time? I thought you moved back to Eatonboro after the ... last time I saw you.” I wasn’t going to mention the wedding if I could help it. I also wasn’t going to say anything about seeing Quinn at the grocery store on the Fourth of July, just in case she hadn’t told him.
Nate looked pained. “We did move back. But it was hard on Quinn. It was my dad’s idea to come down here for a while, and it’s ... good. This place is her home, sort of, and she’s comfortable. I don’t have to climb steps, and it works out well for everyone.”
Bitterness corroded my throat. Quinn was turning herself inside out for Nate, for this sham of a marriage. At a time when her life should’ve been beginning, when she should have been starting her first real job, excited about the future ... and yeah, goddammit, marryingme, living withme... instead she was playing nurse, wearing herself thin and watching her friend die.
I clenched my jaw so hard it ached. “So what do you need, Nate? Why did you ask me to come up?”
He frowned, staring out the window at the ocean. “I want to talk to you about Quinn, Leo. Specifically, about what’s going to happen when I’m not here anymore.”
Annoyance flared in my chest. “Oh, you want my word that I won’t make any moves? You want Quinn to stay a widow for the rest of her life, with no other prospects for marriage and a family?”
Nate sighed. “No, of course not. And I’m not asking for your word about anything. I just want to give you some advice.” He paused, his lips pursing as he searched for the right words.
