“It would be my pleasure. Lie down on the floor, put your hands above your head, and I’ll push you like a human sausage.”
“Ah, that’s a vision.”
“I’d do anything for you, Bellini,” he said, and we laughed.
We rode there in his black truck, which looked pretty new, and in five minutes, we were in a leather booth, the lights down low, with three towering Christmas trees covered in shining lights and an overabundance of ornaments and ribbon in different corners. The waiter, my cousin Mackie O’Donnell, who was home for the holidays, came over and greeted us, then took our order. Mackie’s majoring in mathematics and physics in college. He’s a brainiac. He gave us meticulous information about each special, including all ingredients and spices, and shared his detailed opinion about other dinner options. He was thorough in all things.
Logan and I chitchatted about light topics after Mackie left, which was helpful so I could calm my thudding heart and my flaming libido.
“So, Bellini,” Logan said after our delicious dinners arrived, “tell me about college and tell me about what you did after college.”
“That’s a lot.” I swirled my pasta primavera around my fork. We’d both had salads, too. Logan had ordered onion ringsbecause he knows I love them and would eat them all day if I could.
“I want to hear about it, if you’d like to talk about it.” He cut up his steak.
What could I say? I was so heartbroken from losing Logan my first year, I could hardly speak. My sophomore year wasn’t much better. Christmas became a lonely disaster. I took tons of writing and art classes and wrote story after story and ran everywhere—in town, around the track at college, up and down the hills, and on the trails—as much as I could to get Logan and that loss out of my head. Running helped me calm down.
And, oh yes, should I share about my marriage? How awful it was and how the divorce was a relief but still awful? What about the miscarriage? That, too?How much, Logan?How much do you need or want to know?
“How about if you tell me about your college experience?” I countered.
He looked away, out the window. The town was beautiful with the lit-up Christmas tree and Christmas lights outlining the windows of local businesses.
“It was…hard,” he said. “I missed you. I didn’t understand why you broke up with me.” He smiled, but it was sad. “I still don’t quite get it, Bellini, but we don’t have to talk about it.”
He rolled his shoulders back as if to get rid of stress. “I decided the best way to deal with everything was to be busy. I took an extra class each term, and went to summer school a couple of times, so I graduated in five years with two majors—architecture and business. I played intramural sports. I ran, like you and I used to do together, and that seemed to help. I made new friends. I didn’t come home much because of my father and because…of you. I knew it would be hard to see you if you were also back.”
I wanted to cry into my onion rings.
“I had a scholarship, as you know. Plus, I had half-time jobs during school. I was a waiter, and when everyone else went home for the summer, I worked full time, took more classes, and saved my money. Travel helped.” He stopped.
“Why did travel help?” I had always wanted to travel. I still do.
“I was in a new place. New experiences. New people.”
I nodded. My hands were shaking, so I put them under the table. I wondered if he’d had girlfriends. It wasn’t my business to ask or to know.
“I stayed in Boston for five years total, working as an architect, then I went to London to work.”
“How did you like living in Boston and London?”
He told me about both cities, but not in detail. I had the impression he didn’t think it was that important.
“I came back to Kalulell because I missed the town. I like cities, but I don’t want to live in one. I wanted to live here, in the Rocky Mountains, in a small town, with plenty of activities to do outside. My dad has also had health problems, ongoing. I knew they would worsen, and I felt obligated to help him and to maintain my mom’s land.”
Drake was a mean snake. I don’t know if I would have come back to help him if I were his daughter, but then, that’s Logan. He’s loyal.
“I had saved money, and I rented the second floor.”
“Your business seems to be going well.”
“It is. Luckily.” He sat back. “We have a lot of work. As you know, I like to design and build.”
“That started in kindergarten.”
“I remember we made some cool structures with blocks.”
“And we made cool structures outside with sticks and stones and wood, remember?”
