The only person in our entire family I felt like I was somewhat open with was Rook.
Granted. My other brothers had never done anything to ostracize me but there was a certain level of detachment that was necessary when hiding a piece of your life. I’d worked hard to rewire my brain, to force myself to do subtle shit like never assigning genders to the pronouns that I used and making sure I never gave away too much information about someone I was seeing, man or woman.
Asante had been the first one to call me out about it, about me tiptoeing around the people, the men, I entertained.
I exhaled and leaned back, closing my eyes for a second.
It was unnerving but ultimately I liked it, the thought of being able to let my mask slip even if it was just for a moment and maybe Asante would cultivate a space for that.
If he was the man he seemed to be, he was a good man. He hadn’t done anything wrong and I didn’t want to treat him like he had. I didn’t want to be a catalyst for him shifting how he handled things or men.
If he wasn’t the man he seemed to be, who cared? I wasn’t looking for a fucking husband. I’d be married off eventually, but maybe Rook was right. Maybe I just needed to enjoy the ride along the way to marriage.
I sat back up and focused on the rest of my meeting, making a few quick changes to some of our security protocols. Then, I had a quick meeting with Novalie’s father who headed our ground security working specifically with the actual guards so I could focus on our technological aspect.
After our meeting, I dapped my brothers up, planted a kiss to the side of my mother’s head and headed out letting Rook know I’d see him at home.
I was halfway there before I hit an unexpected left and headed toward the club instead of our house.
If I’d hurt Asante’s feelings, I owed him an apology.
He hadn’t done anything wrong and me thinking he’d shrug it off and not care that I hadn’t responded had obviously been wrong. If it hadn’t, he wouldn’t have shut down at the gym.
I’d fucked up. I could admit that and I practiced what I wanted to say to him the entire drive to the club, through security and to his office door but all the words dried up and died in my throat when I tapped on the door and it flew open so thatone of the bartenders could file out, pulling her shorts down and giving me a small smile as she went.
I turned to watch her go, my eyes following her until she disappeared around the corner.
“You going to stand in my door all night or you going to tell me what I can do for you, Barron?” Asante’s voice pulled my attention to him and I walked into his office and slid the door shut behind me.
He was sitting behind his desk with an array of papers covering it. His eyes never lifted to me. I pushed my glasses up my nose and walked further into the room, cautiously, one step after another until I came to stand before him.
Then, I collapsed in a chair.
“Can I have a drink?”
“What?” Asante chuckled and he lifted his head. His smile slowly fell and he exhaled and nodded. “Yeah, sure. Pick your poison.”
“Surprise me.”
Asante leaned down and pulled one of his drawers open to grab a bottle of brown liquor and two short glasses that he filled quickly.
He plucked up his glass and I mirrored the gesture. We tapped them against each other, tilted our heads back and took long sips.
I rolled my shoulders and set my glass down. Asante leaned back in his chair, one hand under his chin, the other holding his glass balanced on his knee.
“For real, Bishop, what can I do for you?”
I opened my mouth and snapped it back shut. None of the words I’d pierced together in my mind seemed to make sense to me anymore.
I shrugged.
“I just want to talk.”
“Alright.” Asante shifted in his seat and gestured at me with his glass. “Then, talk.”
“Alright.” I exhaled and tilted my head back, downing the rest of my drink. “Give me a minute.”
“Take all the time you need.” Asante looked back down at the papers in front of him.
