“He has an early flight out tomorrow, so we plan to get together for lunch today.”
“Wow. A back-to-back. Do you think you can handle it?”
“Mom! We aren’t going to drink at lunch. It’s going to be fine.”
She sat back in her chair. “I’m only saying, don’t drink and drive. Call me if you need me.”
I walked over to the table and pulled out a chair, the noise buying me time as I sat down.
Mom studied me. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, Mom.”
She leaned in, putting her arms on the table. Reaching over, she placed her hand on my arm. “I mean it. Cadence, are you okay? Why the sudden trip home?”
“I told you why.”
“Cut the shit. I wasn’t born yesterday.”
“Fine,” I sighed. “Things have been weird between Elijah and I. And this was a good excuse to get some perspective.”
“Weird? How?”
I pulled at my shirt collar, trying to form my newest emotions into words. Last night, I’d barely spoken to Elijah. I’d been out with my friends and he was at some sort of business dinner. Something to do with the new acquisition. It had been like that the entire time I was visiting Fayetteville. He was busy and I was busy, so we carried on with little interaction. He seemed genuinely disinterested in how my trip was going.
So, I explained to Mom all the ups and downs and the weird stress recently. I came clean about how he was treating me and how he had offhandedly threatened my job after takingvacation.
“Have you told him any of this? Told him how you feel?”
I shook my head. “He’s not exactly interested in talking about it. And when we do, it leads to a fight.”
“I’m sorry, sweetie.”
“I’ve been seeing things with more clarity recently. I’ve opened the beautiful glittery cage that he put me in, and I need to decide if I like it inside or if I want to climb out.”
“Third option, set the damn cage on fire.”
I chuckled. “Or that.”
“You are too bright to be confined in a cage. That’s what makes you special. Elijah knows it, too. He sees your light and wants it all to himself. To dim your brilliance and tame your cleverness.”
I dropped my gaze to my coffee, running my finger along the rim.
More times than I could count, Elijah explicitly asked me not to be me, but to be a better version of myself. A suitable character the high society of Charleston would approve of.
Now I saw with absolute clarity, how he’d muted me without me even realizing it.Trying to diminish the pieces of myself that I loved the most. Being back with my friends had revealed how much I’d locked away to make Elijah happy.
“I’m an idiot.”
“No, honey, you’re not. It happens a lot. We try so hard to make the one we love happy. To give them the joy that they give us until we morph into who we think they want us to be. But sometimes that person is not who we truly are, and it takes time to see that.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat as tears lined my eyes.
“But, sweetie,” Mom continued. “Once the rose-colored glasses have been broken, it’s impossible to return to what was. You are no longer ignorant.”
“I know. I wouldn’t want to, anyway.”
“The only way to go is forward.”
