Are you going to go?
I leaned my head against the headboard as a dull pounding grew behind my eyes. Wasn’t that the magic question? Elijah made it clear that my job would be in jeopardy, and I needed that job. There was no way around that.
… no, I’m not.
Cadence…
I can’t.
I can’t throw everything away right now. I can only hope that Noah understands. I will visit him once I can make it back home.
If that’s what you think is the best. Only you can decide that for yourself.
I know…
Thanks.
What for?
Helping me through my decision.
I did nothing.
You listened. Sometimes, that’s all someone needs.
I’m here to listen anytime.
His words spread a soothing warmth in my heart. Whether he meant it or not, the idea of his presence alone was comforting. He was so detached from my life that it made it easier for me to share these intimate details with him.
The door handle turned and Elijah waltzed in, completely oblivious that I wasn’t a massive fan of his right now.
“Oh, hey, babe. You’re still up.”
“Yeah, getting ready to lie down.”
“Perfect timing then.”
I watched him strip down to his boxers, my eyes traveling over his exposed skin. He’d always been in shape, which showed in every muscle he’d carved out from exercising. Looking at him now, there was no mistaking that I still found him extremely attractive. His groomed chest hair was just enough to make him more manly and his blue eyes always drew me in.
However, not even that overshadowed the disgust for him that settled in my stomach.
He climbed into bed next to me and leaned over. Touching my cheek, he pressed his mouth to mine.
I felt nothing.
My lips automatically kissed him back, but it lacked the usual passion I carried for him.
I reached over to click off my lamp and slide down into the coolsheets.
Thank you.
I plugged my phone in and set it down before turning away and willing myself to sleep.
My mind continued to turn, looping my thoughts through like a bad rerun.
If I didn’t go to Noah’s funeral because of Elijah and, inadvertently, his family, how would I be able to look at him and not resent him for keeping me from telling Noah goodbye?
How could I pretend this was okay and that I wasn’t wounded by him?
