“As for why I’m in California, we can give Jade credit for that. She’s the one who pushed me out the door and onto a last-minute flight. I figured if you didn’t want to see me, I’d go stay with Liam.”
“I’m glad you’re here.”
“Truthfully, I wasn’t sure if you would be.”
Damien ran his hand through his hair. “Time is one of the most valuable currencies you can give. No matter how hard you work, it’s the only thing you can never get back. So, wasting time on things that will never come to fruition isn’t something I do.”
Ironically, I felt exactly the same way about wasting time.
He let the corners of his mouth rise. “Or at least I try not to, anyway. I can’t deny that I’d get lost in my fantasies. But speculating about the what if’s and maybe’s between you and me was nothing more than a misuse of my time. Because as long as you and Elijah were together, we’d never be anything more than friends. There was no place in your life for anything else. No amount of pining or thinking about you, would help either of us. And I refuse to waste my time going after someone unavailable.” He grew quiet as he said, “I won’t make that same mistake again.”
“And now?” I couldn’t stop myself from asking, despite the hint he just dropped to his own trauma. As much as I recognized what we were doing was nothing more than being fuck buddies at this point, the words came out on their own.
Super crazy magnetic attraction aside, I wasn’t one to sleep around. It had to mean something. And I couldn’t deny that Damien did, in fact, mean something to me.
He ran his fingers through his already tousled hair. “I don’t know. You just got out of a serious relationship. It’s not exactly the best time for you to start anything new. I do know that I want nothing more than to be here with you. Live in every moment, and cherish every one of the memories we make together.”
Once again, his words were cryptic and didn’t answer the question explicitly. It was up to me to read between the lines and figure out what he meant. He wasn’t openlyadmitting how he felt, but the way his body spoke to mine said so much more than the words that came out of his mouth. It sounded like he was protecting himself, withdrawing into that safe place he kept in his heart.
I picked up another slice of pizza. “It’s getting cold.”
“And we didn’t even have sex. Blasphemy.”
We fell silent for a few moments, chewing over our thoughts and our food. I shifted onto my hip, not missing how the heat in Damien’s gaze never faded. He still wanted me, despite the serious turn our conversation had taken.
Damien cleared his throat and said, “So. Lyrics. I like to consider myself a connoisseur. What is your favorite song lyric?”
“Wow. Coming out with the heavy hitters already?”
“I’m a man who knows what he wants.”
I definitely didn’t believe that. It was pretty clear his own emotions were a complete mess.
“I have to say, there are so many great songs out there that picking only one is pretty much impossible. But off the top of my head, Paramore has some of the most powerful lyrics, and they resonate with me in almost any situation. One that recently got me was their songTell Me How.”
“I don’t think I’ve heard that one.”
“There are some real impactful verses in there. You should give it a listen sometime. My dream is to create powerful lyrics like that, so when people will hear them they think, ‘man, she gets me.’”
“You want to write songs?”
It was difficult to talk about it, but I was a new me now. “Notwantto. I do. I used to write all the time in college, but recently started again.”
Damien leaned into me.“So you sing?”
I tried so hard to keep my blush at bay and to appear theconfident woman I wanted to be. I was manifesting her, and she was the one I wanted Damien to see sitting across from him on his hotel bed, wearing nothing but his shirt with messy hair and eating pizza.
I cleared my throat. “Yes, I do.”
“Sing something you wrote for me?”
“Now?”
“Of course.”
“I… I can’t. I’m rusty… and pizza and singing don’t exactly go well together.”
Damien pushed the pizza box aside, giving him full access to me, and he moved toward me like a lion catching his prey. “Sing.”
