“I’ll make it easy. Do you like him?”
“How do you even define that? Do I enjoy talking to him? Yeah. Do I like to see him? Sure. Do I want to spend more time with him? Yes, I’d say I do.”
“Do you want to fuck him?” She spoke the words without blinking. Utterly unfazed by them.
“Uh…”
“I take your blush and your inability to form an answer as a yes. So, you find him attractive?”
“God, yes.”
“Then it’s pretty obvious. You like him.”
I pulled my brows down as my heart beat faster in my chest. “Where is all of this coming from? Why would you assume he likes me? Which, by the way, is so far from the truth. Did you ask him a bunch of weird questions and put together your own theory? Kinda like you’re doing now?”
“No, I didn’t. I didn’t have to. I just paid attention.”
“Yeah, okay,” I said sarcastically.
“If you don’t think he likes you, then why haven’t you told him about you and Elijah breaking up?”
I frowned. “How do you know I haven’t?”
“Because I mentioned helping move you back home this morning, and he literally said, ‘She didn’t tell me that’. So why didn’t you?”
“I… I don’t know.”
Jade scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Well, I think you’ve liked him for a while, and vice versa. Probably since this summer when you two were all angry and flirty with each other.”
I grunted, trying to be offended by what she was insinuating. “That’s so not how it was.”
“Uh. Yeah, okay. How’s the water in ‘da-Nile’?”
I shoved her playfully. “You’re ridiculous. Besides, I’m not getting in the way of your happiness. Wait. You texted him?”
“Definitely not the point here.”
“I can’t fathom having feelings for a guy that you like, Jade.”
“Ah. I’m slowly putting the pieces together.” She squeezedmy hand, her brown eyes pleading with mine. “You don’t need to worry about me. When I saw him last week, I confessed my feelings. He was considerate and let me down easy, but once I realized where his true interest lay, I had no feelings left. It might seem like I’m suddenly over him, but it’s only because I figured out what my heart actually wanted.” She paused. “As for your other point, trust me. He wants you. He asked me about you every day this week. Which only further demonstrates that it wasn’t me he was looking at, but you.”
I squeezed my eyes shut, overwhelmed by what she was trying to suggest. The butterflies in my stomach had officially taken flight.
Once again, I was being pulled in two opposite directions. This time, it was Jade’s words that conflicted me. Was it possible for her to suddenly be over Damien and be okay with… whatever we could be? I realized she would be ecstatic for me as long as I was happy, but how was it fair for me to find my joy when that same act would cause her sadness?
I couldn’t do it.
“Don’t, Cay. Don’t play martyr. Look at me.”
I met her steel gaze with my own.
“I know what you are thinking. You don’t want to hurt me, and I love you for that. But I can’t choose who Damien wants. Only he can. And he picked you, not me. So how can I be upset if you choose him, too? I was never part of the equation.”
“I don’t know, Jade.”
“You don’t know what?”
“It feels icky.”
