I let out a frustrated sigh. “I don’t know.”
“Wanna talk about it?”
“The opposite, in fact. I’d like to forget about it.”
When we finally arrived at the venue, I all but jumped out of the bus, eager to stretch my legs and feel the sunshine on my face.
Anxiety sat just beneath the surface, and I knew I was shutting down. Turning into a robot and running on autopilot.
After my call with Cadence, I checked in on Violet and the kids. Chemo was hitting her hard. She’d slept all day yesterday and could barely get out of bed today. She was nauseous and unable to keep anything down.
Grant was worried sick about her, and I was too. Luckily, Maylee thought the world was still full of fairy godmothers who wouldn’t let her mom suffer and believed Vi would be okay with her whole heart.
None of us could bear to tell her otherwise.
I was still in denial myself.
I’d told Jodie the same thing I always did because it was the only thing I had to offer.
Whatever Violet needed. No expense spared.
I couldn’t lose her.
Taking care of the financial aspect did nothing to calm the guilt that gnawed at my chest for not being there. But Violethad insisted I continue my tour. She didn’t want me to cancel on our fans.
And I was shit at telling her no.
Not only that, but if we canceled the shows because of me, it would cost the rest of the band money. And I couldn’t stomach that, either.
I’d called looking for some good news. To help calm the fire that burned inside me, because I couldn’t be Cadence’s knight in shining armor. Instead, I realized that I wasn’t fit to be anyone’s champion.
I was nowhere near the people I cared about the most. No matter which way I turned, I couldn’t do anything for anyone.
Chapter Nineteen
Cadence
I’d been restless all day while I waited for Elijah to call me back.
My irritation toward him continued to rise as the hours ticked by. It was after 6pm, and I knew he’d be home any minute.
Which meant he was avoiding me on purpose.
I changed from my work clothes into a comfy pair of leggings, an oversized tee, and Damien’s hoodie. I was on edge, and the hoodie brought me comfort and clarity when I was so ready to fly off the handle.
When I heard Elijah’s key in the lock, I jumped off the couch where I’d been staring holes into the pristine white walls surrounding me.I accosted him as soon as he placed one foot inside. “Why haven’t you answered any of my calls?”
I could read his look, the one that said, ‘be quiet so the neighbors don’t hear you’. I was so tired of living in a world where I couldn’t show authentic emotions. Who cared if they heard? We were allowed to feel things, be unhappy, be alive!
“Let me get inside, at least, before you start bombarding me.”
“I wouldn’t be bombarding you if you hadn’t ignored me all day.”
He set down his briefcase and leaned over to untie his dress shoes. “I wasn’t ignoring you. I was swamped today.”
“Too busy for me? Someone you claim to be in love with? Someone who is supposedly important to you?”
“You’re being dramatic.” He walked past me and into the kitchen, where he grabbed a bottle of water.
