“Not if…”
He moved closer and curled his arm around her, hugging her to his side.“I meant it.”He nodded vigorously.“I can’t figure out what’s going on here, Savvie.You look kind of shell-shocked, and I feel bad that I went too fast, too soon.But you sounded like you were about to saynot if I didn’t mean it.And I do.”
His big brown eyes looked so earnest as they stared into hers.He gave her a small smile.“Please be honest with me.Tell me what you think.I don’t want to rush us, but I can’t hide that that’s what I want.I don’t want it to feel like pressure, though, either.So… you’re going to have to help me out.”
She rested her hand on his thigh and leaned in to press her lips to his.“I’m so sorry, Jake.”
When she saw that muscle start to tick in his jaw, she knew she should have chosen different words.
“Don’t look like that.I’m not sayingI’m so sorry, I don’t want to… I mean, I’m so sorry that I’m kind of… yeah, shell-shocked.Of courseit’s what I want.How could I not?You’re the best guy I’ve ever known.You’re strong and sweet.You’re so kind.And I don’t just mean to me — you’re kind to everyone.And you’re…” She struggled to find the right words.“I wish I knew how to explain it.You’re steady.”
She shook her head lightly.“But that sounds boring, and I don’t mean it like that.You’re… reassuring, but it’s more than that.I think… I know I’m making a mess of this.But what I’m trying to say is… what you said about us living together?That’s what I want… more than anything in the world.”
She’d never seen him smile so big as he did when he asked, “You do?”
She nodded vigorously.“I do.”
His eyes seemed to twinkle when he asked, “So are you saying that there’s a future for us?”
That tingly ball of excitement in her chest seemed to explode like fireworks.“I’m saying I’d love that.”
“Well, if that’s what you want, that’s what will happen.I’ll make damn sure of it.”
She closed her eyes and leaned into him as he wrapped both arms around her and hugged her tight.After a few moments, she leaned back to look up into his eyes.
“You know, I never want to be a burden…”
“You’re not—” He started to protest, but she put a finger to his lips.
“That wasn’t what I was saying.I… feel like I shouldn’t want to rely on you.Depend on you, turn to you.I’m not sure which.Probably all of them.But…” She let out a breath.“It’s kind of wonderful knowing that Ican.”
“I’m glad.It feels good, Savvie, because it’s true.I want you to do all of that.I want you to know you can rely on me.That you can depend on me.”She knew what he meant when he held her gaze and added, “And I hope that you’ll always turn to me.”
“I want to be there for you.And not just in a selfish way that I want to look out for you — although I do.But more than that, it’s aboutus.I remember what it was like with Dad and my mom.It always felt like they turned away from each other.
“It’s so different seeing him now with Jo.They both do it.Not that they’ve had any big stuff to face that I know of.But even the little things — they turn to each other first.”He ran his hand over her hair.
“Yeah, it’s about being honest with each other.But it’s just as important that the person you love is the person you want to turn to first.About anything.Good or bad, big or small.You know?”
Her heart was racing, but the rest of her was still.She wanted to believe that she understood what he was saying, but…
He ran his hand over her hair again, cupped her chin, holding her there as he looked deeply into her eyes.
“Yeah, I said that,” he told her with a smile.“I’ve been trying to figure out when might be the right moment to tell you.And what might be the perfect words to say.But if I know anything about life, it’s that if you wait for the right moment… or to find the perfect words…”
“You end up waiting too long.”She gave him a small smile when she said it, but her heart was pounding.
He frowned slightly.“Not that I’ve ever told a girl I loved her before.I’ve never felt this way before, Savvie.That’s how I know.I also know that I only want to do this once.”
He leaned in and brushed his lips over hers.“I love you, Savannah.I want to spend the rest of my life with you.We make a good team.We already know that.”
She climbed onto his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck.“We do.I love being with you, Jake.I’ve been waiting and wondering, too.I told you not so long ago that I was falling for you.But I’ve known for a little while now that I’ve already fallen.I love you.”
He held her tight, crushing her to his chest as he kissed her, deep and slow.
She clung to him and kissed him back, hoping with all her heart that this was it — that they really would get to spend their lives together.She’d never told a guy she loved him before, either – and she never wanted to do it again.Not after Jake.
~ ~ ~
