“How do you do that?” I ask, genuinely wanting his answer.
“Do what?”
“Take the journey with such trust?” My skin starts to prickle as my thoughts are cast to August. “I lost my best friend when we were younger. It was a car accident, and I was the driver.”
A heavy hand lands on my shoulder. The guy’s just as big and solid as I am, but he’s not intimidating. His presence is large and golden, and it kinda reminds me of August, to be honest. Dependable, carefree.
“I’m sorry for your loss.” His words are solemn as they’re carried through the rumble of his voice. They force me to take a deep breath.
“Thank you.”
He claps my back and returns to the drink he’s mixing. “As far as how I get through the days, life in general, without my dad… I let him become my reason why, instead of why not. I don’t avoid things because he’s not here to see them, or not here to be a part of them, doing them with me. I keep showing up and giving him reasons to be proud of me if hewerehere to see it. There are moments where IswearI can feel him, and they’re always stronger when I’ve done something good for myself.”
My eyes bore into Dylan as I accept his words, thinking back on all the moments I felt guided by August. Seeing his number three pop up randomly. All the new paths that have opened up and shifted the trajectory of my life compared to what it could have been.
Idofeel him more when I’ve done something for myself. It’s not living without him, but it’s taking him with me wherever I go. I feel him more in the good times because that is where he’d follow, that is where he’d be happiest and most proud of me.
And the times that’ve felt strongest over the last six months are the ones filled with Isabelle.
Chapter thirty-eight
“You getting used to me yet?” I hear the gentle murmur of Gage’s voice, pulling me out of sleep. The moon is still high in the sky as I look through my bedroom curtains with one eye.
I slowly roll over and see Gage crouched beside the bathroom door, scratching Hallie under the chin. “We’ll have to get you used to Tiny next. Once I ask your mama to move in with me.” The soft way he speaks to my cat has me smiling into my pillow.
“What do you think? Will she go for it?”
“Maybe you should just ask her,” I say softly.
His head snaps up, green eyes flaring. “I’m sorry, Buttercup. Did I wake you?”
I yawn, stretching my arms over my head. “I don’t mind when you do. How did the rest of the night with Dylan go?”
Gage stays crouched by Hallie, letting her rub her nose against his palm. “It was great. Dylan’s cocktails were really popular. I’m thinking we should get some shirts made up with his logo, maybe have a regular promo night or something. I left Keeley to close up.”
“That’s amazing.” I beam. Gage refused to let anyone help him with the bar for so long, working himself to the bone in an attempt to keep everything together. His accident finally forced him to rely more on others, which meant Keeley got promoted to a full-time manager, sharing the closing shifts with Gage.
“That’s all fucking you, baby,” he says with shining eyes.
“What are you talking about?” I chuckle. I must not be completely awake yet, because this guy’s making no sense.
“Every moment since I met you has been full of hope and possibilities. It’s given me a life that’s worth living.” He stands and stalks towards me with purpose. “Your creativity, your beautiful mind, your kind heart and beaming soul, it all leaves me in awe.”
I can feel my cheeks flush at his adoration. “Grim.” The word comes out breathless. “You had all of that inside you. I didn’t do anything special.”
He shakes his head. “No, you don’t understand. The way you love me with yourwhole. Fucking. Heart.Do you know what you mean to me?”
I’m silent. Too stunned by his words to speak, but I shake my head. I know he loves me. I can see it easily in his eyes whenever he looks at me. The way he’s soft for me, different to how he is with anyone else in his family. He gives me the kind of love and passion I always wanted from a partner.
He drops to his hands and knees, making me jump from the sudden movement.
“I bow to you, Isabelle.”
My chest heaves from the weight of his words. My heartbeat sends shockwaves through my limbs as he starts to crawl towards the bed.
“I worship at your altar.” He gets to the side of the bed, still on his hands and knees, as he climbs onto the mattress. “Your love is my Earth, what grounds me and keeps me present.” I move onto my back, hearing the swallow I attempt to drag down my dry throat, watching as Gage moves up my body. “Your body is my heaven. The screams and sighs of your pleasure like rapture, wiping my mind and soul clean of its shadows, so all that’s left is pure, inexplicable bliss.”
He sits back, kneeling on either side of my legs and pulls the blanket back. I’m wearing one of his T-shirts and a pair of comfy briefs, nothing remotely sexy, but Gage’s eyes are full of hunger.
