“Muuumm,” I groan, throwing my head back against the pillows.
Thankfully, we’re interrupted by the doctor and nurse coming in with a cart of supplies to fit my leg cast. Fuck, this is gonna suck.
“Fine, we can talk about it later,” Mum says out of the side of her mouth as she stands to get out of the doctor’s way. “But don’t think I’ll just forget about it.”
Forty minutes later, my cast is set, and Mum gets the rest of the family back in to watch me struggle out of the hospital bed and onto my crutches. Dad and Grandpa walk on either side of me as we make our way out to the lobby, where everyone else waits.
“We’ll see you back at Grams’s,” Caleb says. “We’re going to go pick up Isabelle and sort out your car.”
I nearly fall in my rush to grab Caleb. He, Grandpa, and Dad catch me before I go down.
“Is she okay? Where is she?”
Caleb looks down at my hands, probably from where they’re creasing his two-thousand-dollar vest, then raises an eyebrow at me.
“She’s still at the scene. But she’s okay. Paramedics assessed her onsite. No one else got hurt, and she’s got your phone. We’ll bring it later after we get Izzy sorted.”
The weight that’s been settled on my chest finally gives, and my head drops against Caleb’s chest.
“If you need to tell me something, you can,” Caleb says low in my ear.
But what do I tell him? That Isabelle has slowly become the person in my life who makes the hard shit feel easier? That she gives me a reason to smile, a reason to want new things? And that the last time I had someone like that in my life, I cost them theirs, in the same way I just risked Isabelle’s?
If anything happened to her, I’d never forgive myself. I can’t do that to her. I can’t do that to myself. I need to protect her and keep her safe, and I can’t do that when my feelings are in the way.
I stand up straight, hardening my features, and shake my head.
Caleb looks at Lex, disappointment coating his face, but this is for the best. He doesn’t know what we’ve shared over the last few months, and he doesn’t need to.
“Okay.” He lifts his shoulders in resignation. “I love you. We’ll see you in a few hours.” He threads his fingers through Lex’s, and I watch them walk out of the hospital.
Mum and Beth each hand a crutch to me. I huff, shoving them under my arms.
“Do you want us to come back with you or go straight to Tiny?” Mason asks, chewing his lip.
“Go check on my boy.Please.” When I look my baby brother in the eye, I hope he can hear in my voice that it’s not personal, I just need to retreat. There are already too many people fussing over me. My brother knows I hate attention, my whole family does. But I’m struggling because I know they need to be around me. They need that reassurance that I’m here, and I’m okay.
Mason steps in to hug me. I rest my head against his, fists clenching the handles of the crutches.
“Anything you need, I’ve got you.”
“I know you do,” I say, the words breaking as they spill free. Mase slaps my back a few times before pulling back, letting Beth take his place.
“See you tomorrow,” Beth whispers. “I won’t push for now, but I know something is going on between you and Isabelle.Maybe you won’t tell us because you don’t know how to admit it to yourself, but whatever it is, it’s good. I know it. My friend wasn’t hurt tonight, and you better hope it stays that way.”
Beth keeps her eyes on me as she says her goodbyes to our parents and grandparents.Fuck.I’m such a piece of shit.
Dad finishes signing me out, while Mum brings the car to the front so I don’t have to walk too far. The whole drive to my grandparents’ house, my mind is unsettled.
“Are you hungry, sweetie? I can make you something when we get home.”
I shake my head, pulling at the thread in one of the holes in my jeans. “Not hungry.”
“He just needs some rest, sweetheart,” Dad says, reaching over to rest a hand on Mum’s thigh, and I have to look away. Just the intimacy of their actions makes my gut churn with reminders of Isabelle. She must have been so scared waiting at the scene by herself. It’s a scary situation to be in, even when no one gets hurt. It must have been worse watching me get taken in the ambulance and then not knowing what was going on. I hate myself for putting her through that.
This is all my fault.
I knew I was never good enough for her. I’m so fucking dumb for convincing myself otherwise. I told myself from the start she deserved a nice guy. A guy who makes her smile and is filled with just as much sunshine as she is. Someone who brings light and joy to her life, just like she does for everyone she meets. I almost got her hurt.
