“I’ve just felt so undeserving of good things, and scared that I wouldn’t be able to protect the next person I loved. It was like a compulsion—I had to protect them. I had to keep them safe.”
“It’s not your job, Gage. Some things just happen. It can’t stop you from living your life.”
I look over at her and rest a hand on her cheek. “Meeting you is the first time I’ve felt excited about life in a long time.”
She melts against my palm, then leans in and kisses me softly before laying her head against my shoulder. “Tell me more about him.”
So I do. I tell her everything about him. The way he would drop random facts into conversations. The way he got so worked up over pulp in orange juice. I don’t think anything else in life made him so mad. Not even his dad’s absence. He just hated the way it pissed off his mum and stopped her from being able to move on.
I told Isabelle about the effortless way he would flit in and out of conversations with people. He was a social butterfly, but he kept his loyalty and heart for those he was closest to.
Isabelle laughs until her stomach hurts when I tell her the story of when August and I made pot brownies and his mum accidentally ate one. I still don’t think she knows what happened.
Then there was the time August was trying to impress a girl at school who said her favourite smell was lavender. Turns out, August was allergic to lavender, something he found out after using scented soap on his face. He turned up at school with red splotches over his cheeks, and one puffed-up eye. Even I laughed recounting the story of him running up to me in a panic, asking if there was something in his eye, cos it had been itching since he left home. The guy looked like he had the worst case of pink eye. Safe to say, he never hooked up with that girl.
It’s the first time I’ve been able to talk about August with any semblance of happiness. And with every story I tell, I can feel the darkness fading, lending itself to the light. The light that Isabelle brings.
Now that I’ve had it, I don’t want to lose it. I don’t want to go back to the darkness. I want to keep living in her light. That’s where she is. That’s where August is. It feels like I can have a home here, too.
Chapter twenty
“What did we decide I was telling my father if he tried setting me up with anyone tonight?” Tenley whispers in my ear.
We make our way through the ballroom full of people dressed in gowns and suits. Silks hang from the ceiling, woven with lights, and tall vases of orchids sit in the centre of every table. A band is set up on the stage, playing easy-listening music while people mingle and chat before the dinner starts.
I chuckle. “That you just met someone last week who you think might have potential.”
“Right. It’s very new.” Tenley nods to herself, bolstering her confidence. “What job did we give him, again?”
“Surgeon. No one expects you to know details in the medical field.”
“Right,” she says, snatching a glass of champagne from a passing waiter and chugging half in one go.
Beth and Lex already made their way inside after Caleb blew up Beth’s phone, but Tenley and I got stuck talking to James Huxley and Jackson King. There’s a Callahan Hotel attached to the Heart City casino, but the men want to expand it to the other High Rollers locations. Tenley dove right into business mode, and with the two of us working more closely lately, she roped me right into the conversation with her.
I see a flash of red through a part in the crowd, followed by the biggest smile on Caleb’s face as he holds Lex in his arms.
“There they are.” I point my chin, then hook an arm through Tenley’s, leading us to our friends. A cool sweat briefly washes over me at the thought of seeing Gage tonight without the barrier of his bar or masks.
“Iz. Tenley. You ladies both look lovely,” Caleb says, once he sees us.
“Thank you, OG. You look very dapper. Love the red.” He looks so proud of himself as he runs a hand down his red vest.
“Gage? Don’t you have anything nice to say, too?” asks Beth.
I try to act cool as I look over at him, just as eager to see him dressed up as I am to see the way I affect him.
Gage’s eyes start at my toes and savour their way up the emerald sequin gown that shadows my figure. I see him swallow when he reaches higher, taking in the neckline that dips low on my chest.
“You’re breathtaking,” he says, transfixed and unwavering.
I don’t know how long we’re locked in each other’s gaze, but the spell is broken when Hazel and Matilda come rushing over, impatient to see Lex and Caleb together.
“Shit. My father’s waving me over.” Tenley groans, then points two fingers at her eyes, then at Beth. “You watch for my signal.”
Beth raises her glass. “I got you, girl.”
Tenley blows out a breath as if she’s preparing for a run at the Olympics, then charges into the crowd, leaving Beth and me chuckling.
