I grip the couch to keep from falling over. That’s a life-changing amount of money. A ‘fifty fewer things to worry about’ amount of money. And it will go straight to Harper’s college fund.
If I accept it.
But accepting it means I have to let him see her.
“Hold on to it until I see you again?”
“Of course.”
I hang up and call Bryson back. “How do I know the check won’t bounce?”
“Wow,” he says. “Still blunt as hell.”
“And on the verge of hanging up on you.”
“Don’t hang up!” he says, sounding genuinely panicked. “You’re right to ask. It won’t bounce. I swear. I’ve got a good job, and I’ve been saving for years. I won’t be able to give you that much again for a while, but I’ll start making monthly payments, okay? And I’ll pay the back support as I go. I want to do the right thing here, Melly.”
“Uh-huh. Four years too late, but okay. You’ve got my attention. Tell me all your lame excuses for not calling before now.”
“I was an idiot and an asshole,” he says. “I wasn’t ready for a kid and—”
“No one’s ready for a kid, Bryson. You figure it out.”
“I know.” He sighs. “I know that now.”
“What happened? Near death moment? You see a cute kid at the park?”
“No,” he says. “I just grew up, okay? I was saving for a house, and I was stable. I finally had the freedom to live my life on my own terms. It was everything I ever wanted, but it was empty. Harper is this huge gaping hole in me and what I did to you… I fucked up, Melly. I see that now. And I want to make it right. I’ll do anything you ask.”
“I need to know you’re staying, Bryson. I need to know this isn’t just a whim.”
“Doesn’t the sixteen grand I sent you indicate how serious I am?”
“I’ll let you know when the check clears,” I say. “And I want to meet you in person before you see Harper. I need to look you in the eyes and make sure this isn’t just another one of your whims.”
He chuckles. “You always could read me like no one else.”
For a moment, I’m nineteen again. In love and sure that nothing and no one can destroy my happiness. When things were good between me and Bryson, they were so, so good.
“When will you be in Catalpa Creek?”
“I don’t officially start my job for a couple of weeks, but I’ve got a place rented and I can move to town whenever you’re ready for me. I can be there in three hours, whenever you want to meet. Or whenever you decide to let me see Harper.”
“No guarantees,” I say. “I get to decide if you see Harper, and you abide by that.” Even if there is no way in hell I’ll keep him from seeing our daughter when he’s living in this town.
“I get it,” he says. “Everything happens on your terms.”
“If it happens at all.”
He’s silent for a long moment and, when he finally speaks, his voice is raspy. “If it happens at all.”
“Good. I’ll be in touch.”
“Melly, wait.”
My heart stutters, ready for the bad news.
“Can you send me a picture? Just one picture.”
