The diners around us hush their conversations and turn to look at the woman. I notice her earrings are shaped like books.
“Oops,” she says. “That was way too loud. Sorry, everyone. I’ll be quieter.”
“No problem, Ellery,” someone shouts from somewhere in the diner.
Ellery. I’ve heard that name before somewhere. Could be one of Levi’s friends or my Weston cousins might have mentioned her. She’s definitely no shrinking violet.
“Nobody knows I’m talking to you, Melly,” Ellery says. “I’m being quieter now. Fine, I’ll stop by later and bring you some pie. Just quit worrying and think about what I said.”
She ends the call, and another woman walks over and slides into the booth across from her with a smile. I return my attention to my own phone, since Ellery has gotten so quiet now she’s not disturbing me. Funny how people will talk so much louder on a phone in a public place than they will face to face.
“Hi, there,” a server who looks to be sixteen, her hair half blond and half black, smiles at me. “Sorry it took me so long to get over here. Everyone wanted to close their checks at the same time.”
“No problem,” I say. “I’ll have the meatloaf with mashed potatoes and a strawberry milkshake.”
“Coming right up,” she says before stepping up to the next table. “Hey, Ellery. Lennox. What can I get you?”
I’ve put off answering way too long, so I force myself to stop overthinking it and type the first thing that pops into my head.
HandsyGuy37:I find the best way to make someone smile is a compliment.
She doesn’t respond right away. That was an idiotic suggestion. I’m terrible at giving advice.
DogPerson158:I’m not sure that works in, um, my line of work.
HandsyGuy37:It works in every line of work. Are you a superhero? You save the person from a speeding train, and you don’t just set them down and go on your way. You compliment their shoes or that they stayed calm in the moment of crisis. Are you an undertaker? That’s a tough one, but you can totally compliment them on their taste in coffins or tell them how kind they are to put so much thought into arranging their loved one’s funeral. Even if you’re something like a rodeo clown, you could compliment the bull on his sharp, sharp tusks.
DogPerson158:I am not a rodeo clown. And they’re horns, like grab the bull by the horns.
HandsyGuy37:It’s okay if you mess up the compliment and use the wrong word. That gives the other person a chance to explain themselves to you. Making another person feel good is really about the other person, not you. Lead with curiosity and focus on what you’d like to know about them or what you immediately like about them. Compliments lead to connection, a sense of being in something together, and that’s all anyone wants.
She doesn’t say anything. Shit.
HandsyGuy37:I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about. I work with the public daily, and I guess it just comes naturally to me to be a goofball and not give up until I get a smile.
DogPerson158:No, that was really good. I’m literally taking notes.
That makes me feel like a fucking king.
HandsyGuy37:You’re messing with me.
DogPerson158:Not even a little. I’m trying this tomorrow.
HandsyGuy37:Let me know how it goes.
The server delivers my food, and I set my phone to the side. I’m good with the conversation ending there. Things can only go downhill from that high.
But my phone chimes with a message just as I’m taking a big bite of meatloaf.
DogPerson158:What I want to know is, were there really 36 other people who already had the username HandsyGuy?
I laugh so loudly that the woman with the book earrings turns in her seat and smiles at me. She has a friendly smile. I give her a little wave and point at my phone.
She nods, waves back, and returns to dinner with her friend.
Handsyguy37:No, I’m thirty-seven. There were no other handsyguys, which probably should have been my first clue I’d made a mistake typing in my username.
DogPerson158:You’re twelve years older than me? Are we even in the same generation?
