“I don’t mean rate like that,” I say. “I mean rate for compatibility with Sebastian. And this would be going faster if you helped me.”
“Sebastian is compatible with no one,” he says. “There, I helped you. Go to bed.”
“It’s only nine.”
“Well, I’m tired. And I’ve got an early morning.”
I climb out of my comfortable, warm bed, pull on sweats, and go downstairs, but Sebastian’s in the dining room, scowling at his computer screen, and Ryland’s watching TV in the living room. There’s no way Sebastian won’t ask me something or start a business discussion if I’m anywhere in his line of sight, so I head out the front door.
Levi’s front porch wraps around three sides of the house and is plenty wide enough for comfortable seating and a fantastic swing. I settle onto the swing with a tired sigh. My legs and feet are sore from standing most of the day, and it feels good as hell to sit.
A cool wind blows, and I instantly regret not grabbing a coat on my way out. Shivering is preferable to going back inside and risking Sebastian needing a sounding board about some issue. Ryland is the only one who seems to be able to get away with saying no to our older brother. Probably because Ryland really does not give a fuck. He works hard, and he supports the business, but when he’s done for the day, he’s done.
Sebastian just can’t turn off his brain. His workaholism is getting to be downright unhealthy.
Which is why I’m saving him by finding him a partner. Settling in, I get back to reading the bios and messages of the possible matches. I have to keep reminding myself to think about what Sebastian would like and not what I would like.
Problem is, I’m not really sure what Sebastian likes. He brought Skyler around only a couple of times and hardly ever talked about her.
Even so, I’m pretty sure a bubbly, optimistic, happy woman would be a poor match. Sebastian would crush her spirit like a bug beneath his boot.
That removes about half of the women from the list.
Next, I figure the women have to have a career that consumes a lot of time, so their feelings aren’t hurt when Sebastian spends all his time working.
Not all the women list careers, but I’m still able to remove another five who do. I also remove a social media influencer and a Tarot card reader. Not saying they can’t be ambitious or work all the time, but I once heard Sebastian say the only work that counts is work that puts callouses on your hands.
Not sure if that applies to the women he dates, but I’m not taking any chances.
That leaves me with five women. Two of them state they’re looking to settle down and have a family. I don’t want Sebastian getting marriage-level serious with this match. I want him to chill, not to become devoted to a new family. That leaves me with three women.
Sara, Holly, and a third woman who, like Sebastian (i.e. me), uses a pseudonym. She’s DogPerson158.
Sebastian loves dogs, so she’s probably a safe bet. There’s no picture of her face, but there’s a smoking hot photo of her from the neck down in a bikini.
Right in her bio, she says she’s blunt and has been called grumpy. There’s no information about her career or hobbies, but just on personality alone she’s perfect for Sebastian. I start with her.
I stare at my computer screen for seven full minutes getting into character. I’ve seen Sebastian around women, and I canguess how he’d interact with DogPerson158. I’ll just start with a simple message.
The username I created for Seb pops up, along with the message box. Shit. I’d chosen Handyguy37 to encompass his job and his age, but I must have mistyped, because it’s actually Handsyguy37. That is not a good look.
I waste twenty minutes trying to figure out how to change the username, only to learn I’ll have to create a whole new profile to do that. Apparently, they don’t want people doing something that breaks the rules under one username and easily changing it to trick other users.
Like, ‘oh, that wasn’t me who sent you that dick pic. It was a totally different username. I’d never send unsolicited dick pics.’
At least, that’s the most likely scenario I can imagine.
So, feeling like an idiot already, I send my first message.
Handsyguy37:Hi, thanks for matching with me. This is not the username I thought I was creating. It was supposed to be handyguy37. Because of my job. Not because I’m the kind of guy who touches women without their consent.
I flip over to Holly, planning to message her next, but DogPerson158 answers. She must be hanging out on the site.
Dogperson158:I’d actually moved you to the reject column because of that username. Luckily for you, you’ve redeemed yourself. At least until I find out you’re lying.
Handsyguy37:Trust me, I’m not one of those guys who thinks every woman appreciates my advances and is just pretending they don’t because they don’t want to seem too eager.
Dogperson158:And yet you seem to have a deep understanding of how those guys think.
