Yet I still get a twinge of disappointment. My heart really needs to get its feelings under control.
* * *
The next few days are so fascinating to watch. My normally chill best friend is so happy with being engaged that all she does is float around the house now. She’s always smiling, and baking cookies, and laughing. Max spends a lot of time over here too, but he’s busy working during the day, so it’ll be just Julie and me most of the time. She doesn’t do any writing this week, saying she’s too excited to sit at her desk and focus on writing for the time being.
I’m so thrilled for her, and just seeing her happy makes me happy, too. I can almost forget about my short-lived gig working as an extra on a film set and that means I can almost forget about my huge crush on Trevor Owens. If I were still a little teenager, I’d probably be obsessing over him and writing his name on my binder and daydreaming about our future together. But I’m an adult now, so I do no such thing.
I even mute the name Trevor Owens on my Twitter feed so that I don’t accidentally stumble across any articles about him. I know he’s still in town since the film crew is still here, but soon they’ll wrap up filming and he’ll go back to Hollywood and I’ll be able to breathe easier again by fully putting him—and my silly crush—into the rearview mirror of my mind.
Julie and I spend our days hanging out and enjoying being best friends with nothing to do for a few days. I’m still sending out job applications to every new opening because it is important to get a job, and I can’t lose sight of that. As much as I’d love to stay here with my best friend forever, I can’t. She’ll get married soon and be living with Max. I need to get a job, and my own place and go back to being a responsible adult.
Julie and I are looking up wedding venues on her computer when I hear my phone ding with a new email. I light up when I see who it’s from.
“It’s the retirement home!” I say, eagerly opening the email.
Grace Elder Care is a nearby elderly living facility that is brand new and extremely nice. The residents basically live in luxury in the gorgeous, sprawling building that has two on-site restaurants, a golf course, a fitness center, a movie theater, and more. They’re hiring for a full time nurse to work the day shift, and I had applied knowing it would be my dream job, but doubting I would get it.
“They want me to do a phone interview today!” I tell Julie.
“Yay!” she says, clapping her hands together. “This is your dream job and it’s just a few miles away.”
“I really hope I get it,” I say, as I hit the reply button on my phone and type out a quick reply, letting them know I’m available at any time for a phone interview. A few minutes later, we’ve scheduled an interview call for two hours from now.
And two days after that, I get offered the job.
CHAPTER18
Trevor
It’s the last day of filming the movieOakbrook Lake, and everything feels bittersweet. Most of the crew is ready to go back home or start working on their next project. Sterling, Texas was just a quick stop on the long road of a career in film for everyone else. But for me, it feels like a destination. It’s the place I met the woman of my dreams. It’s also the place where I lost her.
I’ve had dinner from Roger’s Diner delivered to my hotel every day for the last few weeks because the food is amazing, but I don’t have the energy to drive there myself. It’s not even that I’m worried about fans noticing me. It’s just that I don’t want to see the place we danced and remember how much fun I’d had with Annie that night before she told me she no longer liked me.
I made the mistake of confiding in my little brother last week. I’d stayed up late video chatting with him in my hotel room, telling him all about Annie and how I like her—I probably even love her—but she doesn’t like me. In true younger brother fashion, he heckled me and poked fun of me and make jokes. But then he said that once filming wraps up and I leave this small Texas town, I’ll never have to think about her again. He called her a blip in my life, something so short on the whole scale of life things that I won’t even remember her in a year or two.
My brother is getting a Master’s degree in physics and is smart about a lot of things, but I’m pretty sure he’s wrong about this one. I won’t forget about Annie. In fact, I think I’ll spend the rest of my life regretting it if I don’t take one more chance.
I spend an hour in hair and makeup today, doing three wardrobe changes for all three photoshoots I have to do with Andrea Block. We go on location, to the lake, the ballroom, and then to a small park beside the lake and take hundreds of photos together. They’ll be used for promotion, movie trailers, the DVD cover, and stuff like that. It’s so ironic how I can sit here with Andrea Block in my arms, gazing into her eyes the way the photographer tells me to and still feel nothing.
This romance with Andrea is just acting. It’s all fake, meant to draw viewers into a fictional romance on the screen. And I think we’ve done a good job of it. Andrea’s arm stays out of each photo we take so the cast is hidden, and she looks up at me just as adoringly as I look at her. But my mind is a blank. My thoughts are of nothing romantic at all while I sit here, the camera flashing multiple times until we’re asked to pose a slightly different way for the next set of pictures.
Yet when I’m around Annie, my thoughts are racing. They’re filled with emotions and love and anxiety. But it’s a good anxiety around Annie. It’s a thrill and a rush and the hope of something that will last forever.
Somehow, I make it through the whole morning of promotional photoshoots, and then four hours of interviews with Andrea beside me. When it’s all over and we’re officially done withOakbrook Lake, I walk outside of the Sterling Banquet Hall and stand on the balcony that overlooks the lake. It’s a beautiful day outside, with perfect weather that’s not too hot or too cold. The lake is calm, and the sky is a sunny and bright blue.
Annie had told me that we’d never work out because I’m a movie star and she’s a nurse. Because I live in California and she lives in Texas. Well, that’s not totally true, though. She’s also told me that she had lost her job and was living with her best friend. So in a way, she’s jobless and has no permanent address right now. Why can’t her address be in Los Angeles? Why can’t she find a job doing what she loves but in another town? It makes sense to me.
Now I just need to find her and do what I should have done weeks ago.
Confess my love.
* * *
I went back to my hotel, showered, picked out an outfit of dark jeans and a black Henley shirt, and sent a photo of myself to my brother’s girlfriend, Lucy, for approval. I normally wouldn’t need the confidence boost of having someone tell me if I’m wearing the right thing. But this isn’t a normal situation. I’m about to do something I’ve never done before. I want to go into this having done everything right—my clothes, my words, my timing. Luckily, Lucy said I looked great, and my brother, after teasing me a bit, agreed.
Now I’m in my rental car and driving across town, trying to remember the exact directions toward Annie’s friend’s house. It’s also lakefront property like my hotel, but it’s on the far east side of the lake. Lake Sterling is so massive that you can stand on the waterfront and not be able to see across the whole thing.
My memory serves me well, and soon I see the little white house in the distance. Only Annie’s car is in the driveway, which makes this a little easier. I’m not sure my love-confessing would be as genuine as possible if her friend were there to watch me make a fool of myself.
