“Maybe I should go to that party,” I muse.
“It didn’t really work out for you last time though.”
“Last time was … stupid,” I say, unable to come up with a better adjective. “It’s been a couple weeks and Declan has warmed up to me. Maybe other people will, too. Plus, I’m tired of sitting in this dorm every single day. No offense.”
My cousin doesn’t look affected by my off-hand comment. She lays down on her side, still watching her computer. “If you want to, go for it.”
My lips spread into a grin. “I think I will,” I say. “What should I wear?”
* * *
Déjà vu sweepsover me as I make my way down to Kingsbere Hall for the second time in as many weeks. I try not to think about that first night, when I was clueless and fell apart at a couple of snide comments from random girls. That won’t happen now. I’m the talk of the school, clearly, and they said they wanted me to come. Well, at least someone with an Anonymous A next to their name said that. Plus, this party is open to lots of people this time. My dad always says that success is given to people who reach out and take it, again and again, without letting a few failures stop them.
Tonight is my version of reaching out. I like my cousin, but I don’t like spending all my time with her. I need to make new friends.
There are two rather large senior guys standing at the doors of Kingsbere Hall. They’re not in uniform, but some of the students walking into the building are still wearing the annoying school-issued clothing.
“Upperclassmen only,” the guy on the left says, tossing his thumb out. “Get out of here, kid.”
A short, wiry boy who is so very clearly a freshman groans and turns around. I guess he thought it was worth a shot to try to sneak into the party. I fall into the makeshift line behind a few people who don’t pay any attention to me. This is great. If I’m not noticed, I can blend in. I can finally start making friends.
The people in front of me are let into the old building without a word. The two guys close the door when I walk up.
“You’re not invited,” the guy on the left says.
“I’m an upperclassman,” I say, putting on a smile. “A senior, actually.”
“I don’t care what grade you’re in, Brass. You’re not invited.”
I glance at the other guy, but he just folds his arms over his chest and stares at me, emotionless.
I open my mouth to speak, then close it again. Are they joking? Is it some friendly hazing to the new girl?
The first guy claps once in my face. “Why are you still here?”
The old me, the girl in Cali, would have never put up with this kind of disrespect. But I’m so thrown off guard here, that I just step backward, and turn around. That’s when I see Declan, walking up with two guys about our age. His eyes meet mine for a split second and then he looks at the two guys who are self-imposed bouncers for this event.
The guy who just yelled at me glances at Declan and his friends, nods once, and steps aside. “You’re good.”
“Anyone wanna vouch for this chick?” the other door guy says. “She wants in, but she’s not invited.”
Declan doesn’t even look at me. He just walks into the building. My heart breaks open at his epic betrayal. I thought we were friends.
The other two guys hang back a bit, eyeing me up and down. I stand straight, feeling like a complete loser for hoping they say I should be let into the party.
“Nah,” the of the guys says. “I ain’t messing with the new girl.”
“Yeah, leave me out of that,” the other guy says.
I turn around and walk as fast as I can. Clearly, I’m not welcome at this school. So why do I keep stupidly trying to make friends with these people?
And why did the only person who’s shown me kindness just act like I don’t even exist?
Chapter Eleven
I will not cry.I will not cry. I will not cry.
I can handle being the butt of some online jokes. I can handle having people turn away from me when the teachers want group work. But Declan was my friend. At least, I thought he was. And tonight he pretended I didn’t even exist.
