“No, not at all. I’m sorry. It’s none of my business.”
“What’s none of your business?”
His bottom lip tucks under his teeth and he looks at me from across the cafeteria table. “You just had this look in your eyes… when I asked what you did. I was just wondering if you were okay. But we’re not really friends, so I didn’t know how to ask.”
My heart warms up at that. Then I bite back any emotion that might be showing on my face. I put on a smile. “I’m fine. I got in trouble for having my phone out in class.”
“Oh,” he says, nodding. “That’s good. Well, it’s notgood, but you know what I mean.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean.”
Connor grabs our cleaning supplies and puts them back on the table where we’re supposed to leave them after completing clean up duty. “See you later,” he says.
“Wait,” I call out.
He stops and turns back to me, this cute eager look on his face. Now I’m pretty sure my cheeks are turning pink this time. “Thanks,” I say. “For… for checking on me.”
His smile is warm and it reaches all the way to his eyes. “Anytime.”
Connor
I totally missed my chance. I could have talked to her. Ishouldhave talked to her. Instead, I froze up and barely said anything. I was so nervous that I can barely remember what happened as I walk out to my truck after detention. I couldn’t stop looking into her kind eyes and seeing glimpses of the girl she used to be.
The girl she was before Ricky broke her heart.
I’ve had a crush on Jayda for longer than I care to admit. Ever since we were little kids playing on the monkey bars in fifth grade. Every time she walks into the room my heart skips a beat. It doesn’t even make any sense because we’ve barely talked to each other over the years. We only know each other at school and we don’t hang out with the same crowd of people. It completely crushed me when she started dating Ricky.
I had been just moments away from asking her to be my date to the school Valentine’s Day dance. I’d spent all night working up the courage to ask her in chemistry class, and then when the day came, she didn’t walk into class alone. Ricky was with her, putting the stupid jock charm on her, flirting and smiling and winning her over. He stole her right away from me just moments before I was going to ask her out.
I was crushed. I was bitter and angry.
But then my mom got sick. Apparently she had been sick for a while, she just never went to the doctor for it. And once she finally did, it was too late. Stage four colon cancer. She passed away a couple months later and I stopped thinking about girls. I stopped thinking about everything.
Dad started working more, going offshore for months at a time. I think it’s his way of coping with losing his wife. I cope by sleeping through class, then going home and sleeping some more.
I didn’t think I was capable of still having a crush on a girl, but that all changed when Jayda walked into detention today. My heart lit up the way it used to. It started beating again. Even after all this time, and all the loss and pain I’ve felt, I guess I still have a crush on her.
Chapter Three
Despite my efforts, I still don’t have any job offers or gigs from my online post. I’ve posted on every local Facebook group I could find, offering babysitting, shopping, and even present wrapping. I read online that some people pay to have their Christmas presents wrapped. Apparently not anyone in this town. I tell myself there’s still time to make some money and save Christmas. I just have to figure out how.
Mom is on the couch when I get home late from school. It’s a nice improvement to see her sitting there, reading an old paperback book, instead of being cooped up in her bedroom. “You’re home late,” she says, not looking up from her book.
“I had detention.”
She nods once and keeps reading. Normally Mom would have something to say about me getting detention—a lecture about responsibilities and stuff. Now it’s like she doesn’t care at all. I could probably tell her I decided to get a face tattoo and she’d just shrug.
“I got caught on my phone in class,” I say, wondering if that will get some kind of reaction from her.
“I’m thinking ramen noodles for dinner,” Mom says. “Can you cook some up?”
I drop my backpack into a kitchen chair. “Sure thing.”
It really bums me out that my mom is bummed out. I hate that she’s going through this. I wish I could snap my fingers and make it all better. That’s what I wanted to tell Connor today in the cafeteria. I was so close to just spilling out all my thoughts, worries, fears. It surprises me how much I want to get them out in the open, but of course I can’t do that. I can’t tell my friends and I certainly can’t tell Connor, who is just some guy at school.
That doesn’t stop me from wishing I had someone to talk to, though. I make ramen noodles for the second time this week and spruce them up by adding an egg and some canned vegetables. It’s a pretty cheap dinner, and it’s not so bad.
After dinner, I help Max get ready for bed and then I put a DVD on the television for him to watch until his bed time. This is all stuff Mom used to do, but ever since she lost her job, I’ve slowly taken it over myself, just to give her fewer things to stress about.
