He lifts an eyebrow. “Never talk about this, or never talk in general?”
I shrug. “Let’s just go back to being random students at the school, like how it used to be before you felt sorry for me.”
“But I was really hoping to go on that date…” he says, biting on his lower lip.
“I thought the date was because you felt sorry for me.”
His lips split into a huge grin. “Are you kidding? No. It’s not even related. Jayda, I’ve had a huge crush on you forever.”
“Seriously?” I am smiling and blushing, and I’m probably looking like a total goof right now but I can’t help it. This is huge, life-changing news.
He takes a step closer and peers down at me with those gorgeous eyes that send a chill straight down my spine. “Yes, seriously. Since before you dated Ricky. That’s why I told you not to date him—I wanted you to date me.”
I draw in a shallow breath. “Then why didn’t you ask me out?”
He shrugs, his hands reaching out and settling on my hips. “I was too shy. Too scared. Name it, and I was it.”
I roll my eyes. “I would have rather dated you than him.”
“If only I had been braver back then,” he says, his voice barely a whisper. I don’t know how we got so close, but now we’re standing toe to toe, and his hands are warm on my sides, and he smells amazing, and his lips are just … right … there. It would take nothing at all, a tip of my chin, and we’d be kissing.
My heart threatens to pound right on out of my chest. Connor watches me for a long moment, and it feels like something special. One of those rare and amazing events that only happen a few times in your life. Is he going to kiss me? Am I going to kiss him?
No, I realize. Not now. Not when everything is too raw and too new and too scary.
I take a small step backward and give him a look. “There’s something else you have to do,” I say, sounding braver and more authoritative than I feel.
“Anything,” he says.
I reach over the table and take a fresh piece of Santa stationary and then hold it out to him. “You’re going to write my brother back.”
Chapter Twelve
It took me half an hour to come up with the wording for Max’s letter. Then I made Connor write it because Max is clever and he’d notice if his letter was written in a different handwriting than mine. When it’s finished, I read over it.
Dear Max,
Thank you for writing me and I’m sorry it took so long for my reply to get back to you. I am very busy at the north pole as you are probably aware. I double checked my list and you are in fact a good boy who has made me very proud this year. I am happy to say that you are on the nice list! As for your request of a dog, I will have to see what I can do. When it comes to giving live animals as gifts, I have to make sure the parents and apartment complexes are okay with it. I assure you I am doing all that I can to give you a merry Christmas. Please take care of your mom and sister, and thank you for being a good boy this year.
Love,
Santa
“I guess this will have to do,” I say, biting the corner of my lip. “I’m not sure what else to say.”
“We should get him a dog,” Connor says. He takes the letter and folds it in half, then puts it in a fancy Santa Claus envelope. I know Max will be thrilled to see it in our mailbox.
“I wish,” I say with a sigh. “I want a dog, too, but we can’t afford it.”
“It’s only twenty dollars to adopt a shelter dog during the holidays,” Connor says. “Max said he doesn’t care what breed it is.”
I shake my head. “But food, and shots, and vet visits and heartworm prevention pills. Until my mom gets a job, there’s no way we can afford it, and I can’t just get him a dog and stick my mom with all these extra expenses.”
Connor looks like he’s about to say something, but then he doesn’t. I don’t ask, because everything still feels so raw with us. I’ve been acting normally since we started writing this letter to Max, but in the back of my mind I’m still jumping up and down and freaking out because Connor totally likes me.
And I totally like him.
He seals the envelope with some wax and Santa’s official metal stamp. “I’ll put this in the mail tomorrow.”
