“Sure thing.”
The pain in my chest disappears. There’s a huge advantage to having a dad that’s on the board of his company. “Really? That would be awesome.”
“Email me her resume and contact info. I’ll tell Anna to find a spot for her.”
My excitement crashes. Of course I’d need her contact info. Why hadn’t I thought of that earlier? I’ll just have to find a way to get it without telling Jayda how I know her mom needs a job. I have no idea how that will be possible.
Maybe once she finally texts me, I can casually ask what her mom does for a living.
No, that’s stupid.
I heave a sigh and realize Dad is still talking on the other end. He tells me he’s sorry he won’t make it home for Christmas.
“It’s fine,” I say, trying to sound cool with it all. “I think it’s better this way. There’s no reason to celebrate Christmas, you know?”
Dad takes a second to reply. “I guess you’re right, son.”
Once I’m off the phone, I stare at the cash some more and consider what I’m going to do. It’ll be easy to send it all back. Just call up Mrs. Harris and tell her I can’t do it. I’ll say the pain of my mom’s passing is too much. Sure, there’s only a week and a half until Christmas, but someone else can figure out what to do. It’s not fair that this was all put on my lap.
I feel really bad for abandoning all these kids, but I tell myself to get over it. They’ll go on. They’ll have other Christmases.
For now, I’m just going to watch some TV and sit by the phone and hope Jayda texts me.
Chapter Eleven
It took everything I had not to cry at school. I persevered though, and waited until I got home yesterday to bawl my eyes out. Shame fills every fiber of my being. I poured my freaking heart out to a fictional person and Connor read it. He knows my secret. He knows I’m poor. He knows my family is struggling, and worse than that—he knows I’m the kind of loser who writes letters to Santa.
What was up with that flirting he did in the library? Was it just a joke? Does he feel sorry for me?
I can’t believe I thought he actually liked me. The whole thing was probably some pity charade. I hope he hasn’t told everyone in school about my letter yet.
And how did he even get the stupid letter? I hope he doesn’t get the reply I sent back to the north pole.
So many questions fill me up and make me dizzy, sick to my stomach, and angry. I’m so mad at myself for sending that stupid letter, and for getting my hopes up that a gorgeous guy actually liked me back.
Our school is so very tiny, and it’s hard to go an entire day without seeing someone. I know this firsthand because I’ve tried to avoid Ricky ever since he broke up with me. I’m almost never successful. We even have one class together. Still, I try to avoid seeing Connor the next day at school. I know I can’t avoid him forever, but I’m too embarrassed to see him right now.
A terrible thought hits me when I make my way to the library again for lunch.
He only invited my brother and me to his house for dinner because he probably thinks we’re starving since we’re so poor.
Ugh. I’m just his charity case!
Hot tears sting my eyes but I force them back. I will not cry at school. If anything, I’m going to look extra happy and like nothing is wrong. I eat my bag of cheerios at a hidden table in the back of the library, and somehow I make it all the way to the end of the day without seeing Connor. I hang around my locker for a while, waiting until most people are gone before I make my way toward the bus. I’m too late to catch a ride on the school bus, but the town bus will stop by at some point.
“Hey, Jayda!”
I cringe. My eyes close and I take a deep breath and consider running away, but what good would that do? I’m standing just outside of school and there’s a whole parking lot in front of me.
Connor jogs up to me. “What’s up?” he says, flashing me a cute smile that has just as much flirty intent as yesterday.
I roll my eyes. “Just leave me alone.”
His face falls. “What? Why?”
I pick up my pace but he keeps up with me. I have to walk through this entire parking lot and then across the road to the bus stop until I can get away from him, and even then he might follow me. I wrap my arms around myself to brace from the chilly wind. “Just go away.”
“Jayda. Wait.” Connor’s voice is soft, and I almost feel bad for makinghimfeel bad. “Did I do something?”
