“I thought I might be hearing from you,” she says. I’m relieved to hear music playing in the background, and she sounds wide awake, so at least I didn’t wake them up. They’re probably hanging out at the track with friends like they always do during the offseason.
“Oh? Why’s that?”
She chuckles. “Why don’t you explain yourself first and tell me why you’re calling so late.”
“I got a text from Avery,” I say.
“A text? That girl never listens to what I say.”
“What do you mean?” I ask. Disappointment settles over me. “Did you tell her not to talk to me?”
“No, I told her to call you.” Keanna groans. “Anyhow, what did she say? Are you two in love now?”
A nervous laugh escapes me. “No… but… I guess that means you know why I wanted to talk to you.”
“Just tell her your feelings, Clay. She wants to hear them.”
“What if I don’t know what my feelings are?” I say as I stare up at my ceiling, the phone clutched nervously to my ear.
“I think you do.”
“I have no idea how to be a boyfriend,” I admit.
“You’ve spent two years with Jett, I think you would have soaked up some tips on that by now,” she says with a chuckle. “Just be yourself. Treat her well. I know you’re a great guy under that asshole exterior of yours. She likes you.”
“How do you know that?” I ask.
“I know everything,” she says. I can practically see the coy smile on her face through the phone. “Stop being a nervous dork and just tell her how you feel. You can thank me later.”
“Fine,” I say, swallowing the nerves in my throat. “But don’t tell anyone anything about this conversation.”
“My lips are sealed,” she says before hanging up.
I sit here for a long time after talking to Keanna on the phone. She made me feel a lot better, but I’m still nervous as hell. I stare at Avery’s text and wonder if I should reply, but eventually I decide that it’s too late. I’ll talk to her in the morning. Maybe I’ll wait until the Christmas party at Jett’s house. Whatever I do, it needs to be perfect. Things between Avery and me are so rocky and delicate right now. One wrong move might push her away forever.
But the right move might mean changing my entire life for the better. It could mean having Avery as my girlfriend. It could make everything better.
Since I can’t possibly sleep right now, I get my laptop and look up the January supercross schedule. We’re traveling to twenty-four different cities for the season, and most of them are big name places that are top tourist spots. We usually spend a day or two in each city before the race, so there’s plenty of time to kill. Plenty of places to see. This time, I won’t just stay in my hotel or hit up the gym before the races. This time I’m going to take her everywhere. I get a notebook and open Google and start planning something for Avery. She told me her biggest dream is to see the world. I’m going to help her do that.
Chapter 22
On Thursday morning I wake up feeling nervous and I’m not even sure why. Then it hits me, like a ton of bricks to the face when I look over at my nightstand and see my phone sitting there. I almost wonder if I imagined sending that text, but I know I’m not that lucky. I sent it. I spent so long thinking of something to say that didn’t make me look like a silly girl with a crush, and then he never replied.
I reach for my phone, hoping that maybe he did reply and I didn’t see it. But there are no new notifications from Clay, and it’s nearly lunchtime since I slept in so late, so he’s had plenty of time. My heart aches and I feel like the world’s biggest loser. Maybe I shouldn’t have sent such a generic message. Maybe if I had just said, “hey, I like you, let’s do something about it” then I would have gotten a reply.
Or maybe he’d have put a restraining order on me.
Now I’m really second guessing going to Jett’s Christmas party. I’m also glad I didn’t reveal my feelings for him in my text. Now I can just play it off like I sent that text to everyone on the team and that I didn’t expect a reply. I get out of bed and try to put on a brave face. If Clay doesn’t want to text me back, then that’s fine. I’ll find a way to get over it.
My parents aren’t too thrilled with the Christmas party in Lawson, Texas. It’s on Saturday, which is technically two days before Christmas, but I’ll probably fly home the next morning, on Christmas Eve. My mom is all upset that I might miss the holiday, but it’s not like we do anything special on the morning of Christmas Eve. She has to accept that I’m growing up and am going to do my own thing. I will not spend the rest of my life stuck in this small town with them.
I can’t wait to see the world, starting with my job with Team Loco. I’ve been looking into the paperwork and the career options, and as long as I get some kind of college degree while I’m interning with them, I’ll be able to get hired on full time. Hopefully this weirdness with Clay goes away and I can secure the job. My heart hurts every time I think about him, so I try very hard not to think about him.
When my phone rings later in the evening, I’m like ninety-nine percent sure it’s not Clay, but I still anxiously look at my phone, secretly wanting to see his name on the screen. Of course it’s not him, it’s Keanna.
“How’s my favorite intern?” she asks, sounding as bubbly and happy as always. I wish I felt even a fraction of her happiness.
“Eh, I’ve been better.”
