“Are you lying?”
His serious expression splits into a grin. “I’m not lying, Avery. We’ll be fine.”
I nod quickly, but I don’t feel any better. The plane is jolting like a roller coaster ride, but we’re not safely attached to any railings on the ground. We’re floating in the air. There’s a lump in my throat and tears spring to my eyes.
“Hey, come here,” Clay says. His arm wraps around me and pulls me to his chest. I feel his other hand wrap around the back of my head and he holds me tightly against him. I close my eyes, burying my face in his shirt. It smells like him, and I feel a little calmer, but I’m still terrified.
“You’re okay,” he says against my hair. “You’ll be okay.”
Chapter 15
I’ve completely screwed everything up. One minute I’m deciding that I’ll confess my feelings to her, and then the next minute I tell her not to like me. It shouldn’t be this complicated. I’m young and I’m attracted to women, so obviously I’ll find one beautiful every now and then. That’s normal. I can find a woman attractive, but it’s never changed me like this. What’s not normal is that a beautiful girl has ripped through my defenses and actually made me feel something.
Avery clung to me for the rest of the flight. Even after the turbulence stopped, she was still wrapped around my arm, her head resting on my shoulder. After a few minutes, I realized she had fallen asleep. I did my best not to move so I wouldn’t disturb her. I kept glancing down at her soft features, serene in sleep. It made me smile. It made my chest hurt. It made me think a lot of things.
But I know this can never be a thing. It doesn’t matter that my heart lights up whenever she talks to me. It doesn’t matter that I get so jealous I want to punch stuff when another guy is interested in her. I can never date her. I tick off the reasons why in my head:
She lives too far away
She’ll just get sick of me like everyone else
Motocross is my career and I can’t get sidetracked from it
I have absolutely no idea how to be a boyfriend
It’s the last reason that really hits home. I know the guys can make a traveling-racing-long distance relationship work. Eventually they all moved next to their girlfriends, except for Jett who I think always lived next to his girlfriend. The distance isn’t a big deal. What would surely ruin things between Avery and me is that I have no idea how to treat her right. I’ve spent my entire life looking out for myself.
I don’t know how to treat someone else. It would only end badly, and that could mess up my spot on Team Loco or mess up her new job with Team Loco. It’s just too messy. It’ll never work.
I clench my jaw and tell myself to get over it. Even though I’m feeling ten kinds of sad at the thought of pushing her away again, I know it has to be done.
Avery stirs awake as soon as the plane descends to make the landing in Vegas. Her eyes flutter open and she sits up sleepily, then her eyes widen in horror when she sees where she was just lying. She puts a hand to her mouth. “Oh my god, I’m sorry. Please tell me I didn’t drool on you.”
I chuckle and glance down at my arm. “No drool here.”
Her shoulders relax a little. “You should have pushed me off you. I’m sorry.”
I shrug. “No big deal.”
The side of her cheek has a little crease on it from where she’d been sleeping on the sleeve of my hoodie. It’s cute. I want to run my finger down it, but I know better than to touch her. She is just a coworker, I remind myself.
The moment is quickly over. Avery must remember that we’re not exactly friends, and she goes back to ignoring me. We shuffle out of the plane and I quickly lose sight of her after I get my bag from the overhead bin. I find Jett and Keanna walking through the terminal and I jog to catch up with them.
“Do we have a limo?” I ask.
“Nah, we’re supposed to take a cab or an Uber to the hotel,” Jett says.
That’s what we normally do, but sometimes in the big cities like Vegas, Marcus will have a limo take us all to the hotel at once.
“What hotel are we staying at?” I ask.
Keanna frowns. “You should really pay attention to the itinerary.”
I shrug. “That’s why I have you guys.”
She laughs. “I’ll text you the hotel info, or you can just ride with us.”
In the distance, I see Avery standing alone near baggage claim. She must have checked her suitcase. I know she’s perfectly capable of handling herself, but the idea of leaving her alone makes me uneasy.
