“It’s no problem,” Clay says. “People who think they can buy their way to the top always need to be put in their place.”
I cradle the jar in my arm as I reach for my coffee. It was originally a large container of cookies, like the kind you get at a Costco, so it’s pretty big.
“Need some help?” Clay asks.
“Nope,” I say, still not looking at him. My chest constricts as he follows me to the door and holds it open for me. Why is he suddenly being polite?He’sthe one who made it perfectly clear that he doesn’t like me, and yet now he’s being nice? Friendly, even?
I really wish he’d just go back to being that jerk with the earbuds.
Chapter 11
As soon as I hear that the big rig has arrived at Hopewell Motocross track, I feel a tension release in my shoulders. It’s a stress I didn’t even know I had until suddenly I feel more relaxed than I have in days. It’s Wednesday and we are halfway finished with the training camps. The next one is tomorrow here in Tennessee at Zach’s home track. But today we’re off work and Marcus was able to get the Team Loco eighteen wheeler to show up and bring our bikes.
I’m going to spend the entire day riding. It’ll clear my mind and help me feel normal again. I miss the days of racing on weekends, riding during the week, and keeping to myself. There’s been entirely too much socializing these last few days. Too much talking with one girl in particular. Every time I’m around her, I can’t seem to help myself. I want to do something to make her life easier. The airplane luggage rack, the hoodie—I can’t help myself. And it needs to stop. She’s just a coworker. I don’t go out of my way for the guys, and I shouldn’t do it for her.
Today is all about me.
But I have to eat breakfast first. Hopewell, Tennessee is in the middle of nowhere, and Zach’s mom is just as sweet as you’d imagine some small town mom to be. Her house is decorated with Christmas lights and it smells like cinnamon. We stayed at a hotel that’s half an hour away because it was the closest one to the track, and she insists on making us breakfast in the morning. Zach and Bree are already here since they stayed in Zach’s childhood bedroom last night.
I arrive with the rest of the crew and we all settle around the small kitchen table to a feast of bacon, eggs, pancakes, toast, and freshly cut fruit. Avery sits next to Bree. She looks tired today, like maybe she didn’t sleep well. Maybe she’s still getting used to the hassle of all this traveling. It’s hard to feel refreshed when you’re not sleeping in your own bed every night. I think about bringing it up, but then I don’t.
Not only has Keanna said something, but the other day the guys cornered me and asked if I thought Avery was cute. I knew I needed to squash that train of thought quickly, otherwise they’d start teasing us in front of each other. I’d felt bad lying, but I told the guys I had no interest in her. Maybe one of these days I’ll believe it.
It’s better this way though. I eat breakfast and then catch a ride in Zach’s truck over to the track. Since it’s the middle of the week, the track isn’t too busy right now. I’m grateful that the Team Loco rig is nice and lonely when we arrive—I’m not in the mood for fans right now.
Zach says he’ll catch up with us later because he wants to talk to some friends on the bleachers, but Aiden, Jett, and I get dressed in our riding gear and crank up the bikes. Marcus isn’t here today, so he can’t complain when I wear my old riding boots. He only wants us to have crisp brand new gear when we ride, but these old boots feel the best.
I nod toward the guys and we take off in separate directions. I head toward the starting line because it’s my favorite place to get on the track. I love pinning the throttle down the long straightaway and feeling the bike accelerate. There’s something so pure about riding for fun. There’s no rules, no finish line, no pressure to beat someone else. It’s just you and the bike and the sun shining overhead, all of your hard work paying off.
When I’m on the track, I’m in the zone. I don’t notice the fans on the sidelines. I don’t see anything past the dirt in front of me. I’m not thinking of what comes next, or what’s happened in the past. Nothing else matters when I’m on my dirt bike.
At least that’s how it usually is. Maybe because this is just practice and I’m not focusing on racing anyone, my mind starts to think about things it shouldn’t. I’m thinking of her. I’m regretting the way I scoffed and shook my head when the guys asked if I liked her. I start wondering what’s the worst that could happen?
I mean, I guess I know that answer.
We’d date. She’d get annoyed. She’d leave. She’d either quit her job or it would be awkward as hell having to work with her after a short fling. It would be a disaster at worst, and an awkward event at best. There is no reason I should even consider liking this girl.
Yet here I am on my bike, doing my favorite thing in the world, and I’m still thinking of her.
Maybe it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. Maybe I could be honest—just tell her that I’m kind of into her but that it would never work out. Maybe we could make some kind of arrangement. We could agree to date for fun. Nothing serious.
I drop the bike into second gear and throw it around a sharp turn before picking up speed and soaring over a large tabletop jump. This stupid idea I just had is starting to gain a foothold in my mind, making me think all kinds of insane things. Maybe my problem with dating in the past is that I’ve always tried to have a legitimate relationship. Those never work out.
But what if it was just for fun?
What if we decided to hang out for fun, knowing it would end badly?
Everything inside of me is shouting that it’s the stupidest idea I’ve ever had, but by the time I pull off the track an hour later, I’m halfway thinking I should go find our new intern and ask her to have lunch with me. Maybe she’ll say no and I’ll be able to drop this delusional idea.
But maybe she’ll say yes.
I park my bike at the big rig and grab a Gatorade from the ice chest. Jett and Zach are out riding but Aiden is sitting on a fold-out chair next to his bike, video chatting with his girlfriend. I get behind him so I’m in the video and wave at the camera.
“Hi, Clay!” Jenn says.
“When are you coming back?” I ask.
“I have one more final exam to take and then I’ll be there for the rest of the month.”
