“Knight,” she half pants, half moans, her hands scrambling to hold on to the side of the car seat as I rail into her, fucking her in hard, fast strokes, chasing my release and the desire to be as close to her as I can get.
“I’m sorry. Let me fix this, Doll. I need to fix this,” I tell her, holding her still as I roll my hips.
Parting her ass, I find her hole with my thumb and press down on it, not pushing inside, but toying with it, like I might. Like her ass is a trigger, she comes again, screaming loudly as she buries her face into the seat, completely at my mercy.
Her orgasm triggers mine, and I come, pumping spurt after spurt of cum into her body. Not ready for this to be over, I keep fucking her, unsure what I’ll do if the distance in her eyes is still there once we’re done.
When my dick stops twitching, I exhale, listening to the sound of our panting breaths fill the empty garage. Unwilling to pull out, I try to decide how to keep myself inside her and pick her up. But with her sprawled half in, half out of the car door, there’s no way of carrying her upstairs while staying inside her.
“Holy fuck, Knight,” she gasps, twisting her head to look at me.
Deciding that speed is probably the only way to get her where I need her, I quickly withdraw my cock, flip her to her back, and slam my dick back into her again.
“Ow,” she says with a giggle as her head bashes into the seat belt plug. “What the hell was that?”
“I want to be inside you.”
“Yeah, I figured that much. But I mean all of it since we got home. What was that?”
“Today has been…” I try to find the right words. “Hard.”
“What? Your dick?” she asks, her brow furrowed.
“Yes. But that’s not what I was referring to. I have not enjoyed the distance between us.”
“You haven’t been more than ten steps away from me all day. You followed me into the bathroom,” she blurts.
“This morning?—”
“I overreacted. You apologized. It’s fine.”
“I hurt you. I made you sad. That’s not fine.”
“Urgh,” she says, sighing as she tips her head back and looks up at the ceiling of the car. “My ex undermined my job. He would say things that, at the time, I didn’t realize were insults, until I put them all together and saw how diminishing they were. He did that a lot, and not just about my job, but my clothes, mystyle, my friends. He chipped away at me until I was so low I stopped trying to be me.”
“Do I do that?” I ask, my stomach dropping to my balls as I wait for her answer.
“No,” she says quickly.
“If I do, leave me. Run away from me. Go to Buck or one of my brothers, and they’ll protect you from me. If they tell me to stay away from you, I will. Or I’ll try to. But they’ll take care of you if I’m not.” Saying the words and telling her who to go to if I’m treating her badly leaves an acidic taste on my tongue, but I do it anyway. She’s mine, and she always will be, but if I start to do to her what her asshole ex did, then I don’t deserve her, and I’d expect my family, my brothers, to protect her from me.
“That’s not… You take care of me, Knight. You’re not him. But this morning…”
She falls silent, and I say what she’s clearly reluctant to. “This morning, by suggesting you cancel your appointments and stay home with me, I acted like him. I made you feel the way he made you feel.”
Stumbling backward, I ignore the sound of my wet dick slapping against my leg and the way my pants and boxers are hanging around my ankles. I don’t deserve to be inside her. I don’t deserve her.
“Knight.”
Grabbing my jeans, I turn and open the door, willingly leaving her for the first time since she opened the door to her apartment and let me into her life.
Storming up the stairs and into our bedroom, I reach into the shower and turn on the water. Ripping my clothes off, I dump them into the hamper without care, then step under the freezing torrent of water.
Octavia is mine. She’s my mate, my wife, my perfect doll, and yet today, I hurt her. I didn’t mean to, but I still did it. I sawher the day I brought her home. I saw how faded she was, in her ugly sweats, with sadness and hurt etched so clearly in her eyes. Helping her and taking care of her felt instinctual to me. I bathed her, brought her home, fucked her, married her, and claimed her. From the first moment I saw her, I’ve been doing what felt right. It was right…until this morning.
Today, my need hurt her. My jealousy hurt her. I hurt her.
Not feeling the coldness, I stand beneath the shower, waiting for the water to wash away the shame I feel, but it doesn’t work.
