Lily put her hand over Marigold’s and squeezed. “There is nothing you can do to change your circumstances today. But youcanenjoy watching grown men act like children over a leather ball.”
Another bone-shaking collision of bodies on the pitch drew Marigold’s grimace. “You’re certain this won’t impact their work at the st-stables?”
“They’ll be sore tomorrow, but everyone will be in good spirits, no matter the outcome. Besides, it’s a delight ribbing them for missed passes—pass it UP,for God’s sake!”
She cut off with an oath that would make a sailor blush as the same opposing player from before broke free with the ball. He leaped over one of the Hornets, drawing a gasp from Marigold, and stumbled over the end of the pitch. The spectators groaned as the official called what she assumed to be game’s end. The men, heaving for breath, gathered to shake hands and clap each other on the back, as though they hadn’t spent the past hour pummeling each other.
“Well, that’s the end of that.” Lily brushed off her palms and turned to face Marigold. “Now, as your eldest and wisest sister—”
“Why d-do I suspect I won’t like what you’re about t-to say?”
“—I hereby declare you need to enjoy yourself more.Relax.”
“Iamenjoying myself.”
“You’re so tense that if I flicked the end of your nose right now, you’d combust.”
“I’m sorry. I have a lot t-to think about.”
“And you’re constantly apologizing when you’ve done no harm. I insist you stop that.” She nodded towards the players collecting their belongings from the side of the pitch. “It’s a tradition for the local team to entertain the opposition after a match. I’m hosting a small gathering at the hunting lodge.”
“Bysmall gathering, you mean you have the staff from the b-big house working?”
Lily waved away the question. “And some musicians up from Lancaster, but it will be fun. I enjoy finding new ways to spend Whit’s money.”
Marigold stilled; her sister mentioning her absent husband was a rarity, and she didn’t miss the tension in Lily’s jaw. “That sounds dreadful.”
“And you will be there.”
“Me?”
“Are you afraid to consort with the riff-raff?”
“I’m not afraid!” She was terrified. “B-but I have nothing to wear for that sort of p-party.” Everything she owned came from the finest modistes in London, but was at least a decade out of style. She stood out for entirely the wrong reasons.
“I’ll lend you something I wear around the barn.”
She cringed. “Nott-t-trousers!”
“Why are you so opposed to trousers?” Lily released a weary sigh. “Fine, I have some simple skirts and blouses, nothing like—” she waved her hand in front of Marigold’s frothy Worth day dress, “—this.”
“I st-still won’t fit in. And I won’t enjoy myself.”
“You don’t know that if you never try! Come with me tonight.” Her lips pulled into a smirk. “I can help you find a man for your torrid affair.”
Marigold gasped, but her gaze caught on the blond player from the opposing side. He was still grinning, chatting with everyone who came close enough to engage with him. Even from a distance, she could be sure this man wouldn’t chew his nails to the quick, nor lose sleep over worry for his family’s future. What might it be like to forget her worries, even for a short while? To pretend no one’s happiness depended on her choices, on her perseverance?
Marigold’s eyes burned with unshed tears. Christ, had she not cried enough already?
“Mari, listen to me. You’ve spent over a decade denying yourself to protect your children, and look where you are. Lonely and miserable. I don’t say this to hurt you, and I’m so proud of you for taking this step.”
Marigold sniffed. “B-but?”
“But you need to do something for yourself. Remind yourself of the woman you are, independent of being a wife and mother.”
A tear broke free. “What if I d-d-don’t know who I am anymore?”
“Then tonight is your chance to find out.”
