Okay, I’ll admit. I may be acting like a spoiled brat right now and I suppose I should be happy that I have parents who care enough to find me. Even though I wasn’t lost.
“Does Mom know I’m over here?” I ask timidly.
My mom and I have had our moments in the past. She’s always forgiven me for my dumb mistakes and I know she loves me, but we don’t always see eye-to-eye. Neither of my parents understand my need for freedom of expression. They only see it as an act of rebellion. That I purposely do things to rage against the system or to spite authority.
I disagree with their assessment. I simply have insatiable appetite for life. To experience everything freely, bucking tradition or societal norm and convention. Life shouldn’t be lived in the shadows or having to conform to what everyone else believes is right.
My dad heaves a deep sigh. “Yes, of course I told her. She’d been worried sick and apparently has been trying to reach you for weeks.”
“I know. And I’m sorry about that.”
“Sorry is going to be when you get home and have lost all your privileges for the rest of the summer. You’re going to be grounded with no car privileges until you return to school.”
The blood drains out of my face and I’m sure it’s gone completely white. My dad notices.
“What is it?”
Shit. School is the last topic I want to discuss right now. How the hell am I supposed to tell him that I’ve decided to drop out? I’m sure they must have received my grades by now and realized that college is a waste of time and money with me.
“Nothing. Don’t you think I’m a little old to be grounded, dad? I’m nineteen. I’ve been away for a year and even traveling on my own for close to a month. If I wanted to, I could just move out of the house. I’m an adult whether you like it or not.”
My dad shakes his head side to side like that’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever said. He even snickers.
“You think life is so easy, don’t you Kadence? Do you even have the slightest inkling just how privileged you are? How much you take for granted? You fly off on this grandiose trip of yours, using money that only spoiled rich kids have at their disposal and don’t have a care in the world. No thought or concern for others. Are those the actions of an adult?” He pauses, running a hand down his face in exasperation.
“And exactly how do you expect to live on your own without a job? Do you even know what it costs to own a car? How expensive car insurance is? How will you afford to pay monthly rent and utilities? I’ve apparently failed you as parent, haven’t I?”
All his rhetorical questions have me worried. I don’t like it when my dad is right.
But even if he has a point, I’m not about to agree with him. While I may have never had a job, or earned a paycheck, or balanced a checkbook, or done any of those things, it doesn’t mean I can’t do them. What I lack in book smarts, I make up for with ingenuity and initiative.
There’s no rulebook on how to live life. I don’t have to finish school and get a desk job. I can do whatever I set out to do. Maybe I’ll move to L.A. and look for modeling gigs. I’ll delve into the world of high fashion and become a designer.
“Dad, you haven’t failed me. Not any of us. We’ve had a few tough years as a family, but things are really going well for all of us. Mom’s happy. Cade’s engaged and in love. Ky’s doing great and has come out of her shell. And you know me, I’d be fine on my own. I can learn. Plus, you’ve always told us that in order to succeed, we first have to make mistakes and learn from them.”
I know I’ve won the war when he gives me a conceding look.
“Christ, you are a force to be reckoned with. When I look at you, I just know,” he trails off, his eyes gathering a misty sheen in them. “There is no doubt in my mind that you will accomplish whatever you set your mind to. And if I haven’t told you enough, you’re a very special girl, Kadence Michelle Griffin.”
He clears his throat when I stare at him, my eyes narrowed in dismay. “Sorry, I meant young woman, not girl. Give your old man a break.”
We both laugh. “Thanks, Dad.”
“Seriously, I want you to know that I honestly believe you can do anything. You’re a natural born leader. You’re smart, you take risks – God help me - and I’m proud of you. I love you, kiddo.”
I swallow thickly. That’s probably the first compliment he’s given me since I won the talent show in middle school. Praise and accolades were generally reserved for Cade and Kylah. For me, I didn’t achieve those honors. And trouble doesn’t deserve pats on the back.
The air between us shifts and all at once feels lighter. Like I’ve sluffed off a layer of dry skin. I no longer want or need to hijack attention using the methods of a temperamental child that I employed in the past. I feel like a new person – one that’s supported by my father.
My goal in life is so clear in my mind now. Like the curtains had been pulled back to open the windows of my potential.
“Thanks, Dad. I love you, too. And I just hope you’ll understand when I tell you that I’ve decided not to go back to school in the fall. It’s just not my calling. I’ve decided to pursue my dreams in L.A.”
I’m ready to call an ambulance in the event my dad keels over from a heart attack. But he surprises the shit out of me when he makes a joke.
“That’s fine. But you’re still grounded.”
