Her expression was troubled as she watched him, the skin between her eyebrows pinched and her brow furrowed.
“I think you’ve got it backwards,” she said at last.
“Backwards? What do ye mean?”
“It’s not the Order of the Osprey warrior that is the sham, Oskar. It’s the street-thug. You became that person to survive. That’s the mask you had to pull on. That’s the persona you had to hide behind. But the real you? The man youchoseto be? That’s the Order of the Osprey warrior. That’s the man who carried me when I couldn’t walk. That’s the man who risks his life for those he cares about. That’s the boy who dreamed of being a blacksmith and had it all taken away from him.”
“I wish that were true. But ye dinna understand—”
“Do you think I’m an idiot?”
Oskar blinked. “What?”
“Do you think I’m an idiot?”
“What? No, of course not—”
“Then why do you treat me like one?” She took a step closer, anger flashing in her eyes now. “Do you really think that I’m such a poor judge of character that I’d stick around if you really were the evil bastard you claim?”
Oskar said nothing, taken aback by Lily’s words. He searched her face for the mockery he expected to see, but found none. Only sincerity.
“Lily,” he began. “I...”
She silenced him with a finger on his lips and a soft smile. “Do you think I’m such an idiot that I would fall in love with a man like that?”
Oskar’s breath caught in his throat. For a second, he thought his heart had stopped. Then it lurched into motion again and the world carried on just as it had before, as if Lily hadn’t just saidwhat he thought she had. But that couldn’t be right. How could the world just carry on as normal when everything had changed?
Oskar stood there, shocked into stillness. Lily’s words echoed in his ears, her revelation sinking in slowly like the first rays of dawn breaking through the darkness. He had never dared to hope for this, never allowed himself to believe that she might feel the same way he did.
But it still made no difference.
“Ye dinna understand. I made a vow, Lily. I vowed to keep ye safe. It binds me tighter than a rope around my neck. Being near me isnae safe. Ye were attacked because of me. If ye get close to me, my enemies will use ye against me.”
She stared at him for a long time. “You’re as bad as me, you know that?”
“What do ye mean?”
“I thoughtIwas the one always making excuses, always the one hiding behind a mask. But I’m not the only one. You do it too.”
Irene MacAskill’s words suddenly rang in his mind.I know that ye yearn for something that ye canna find. What ye seek canna be found in battles and bloodshed.
Had he been looking in the wrong place all along?
“That isnae what this is,” he said, pushing Irene’s words from his mind. “I love ye, Lily. That means I canna put ye in danger.”
“That’s an excuse!” she replied. “Everything is dangerous. Walking out the door is dangerous. We never know when our time is up.” Something flashed across her features and he wondered if she was remembering her past. “One thing that I’ve learned is that sometimes we have to take risks. Are you willing to take a risk, Oskar?”
She stared up at him, her dark eyes trapping him like a fly in amber.
“Lily, I...” His voice failed him.
So instead, he did the only thing that made any sense. He cupped her face in his big hands and kissed her.
IT FELT SO GOOD. BETTERthan good. It felt incredible. Liberating. Such simple words, but they changed everything.
Do you think I’m such an idiot that I would fall in love with a man like that?
Lily hadn’t realized she was going to say those words until they dropped out of her mouth. She hadn’t even realized shemeantthem until they did. But then, as soon as the admission left her lips, she knew it was true.
