‘OK.’ The idea turned her shy again, but it was still totally impossible not to grin when presented with Monty, all earnest and sleepy in her sheets. Arriving at the pub together from Up-along, everyone would know. How could they not? In a nosy place like this.
Somehow the possibility didn’t feel as bad as she might have imagined. That was all Monty’s doing. He was so well regarded here, any gossip would be gentle enough. She tried not to think too hard about how it didn’t matter anyway. How she’d be leaving the gossips behind in a matter of days.
As if reading her mind yet again, Monty asked, ‘So, you’re going on to your next job soon?’
‘Lisbon.’
The word hung in the air. It meant this couldn’t become anything more than it was. It meant Monty shouldn’t get his hopes up. Joy wished for the first time in a long time that things were different.
‘Then London afterwards,’ she added.
‘Yeah?’ Monty lifted his eyes to hers and she saw the hopefulness there.
‘For a little while. All autumn. Through Christmas, maybe.’
Monty didn’t say anything, only wetting his lips, listening.
‘Maybe we could…’ she began. The sentence felt impossible to finish.
The idea of Monty coming to see her at her flat – in the real world – was utterly outlandish. Here in Clove Lore anything seemed permissible, but in her little flat? That was where all the ghosts of her old life were hanging around. And yet, she could picture herself handing him a coffee over her little breakfast bar. She could see him reading with Radia at the dinner table. The idea was dangerously appealing.
‘Meet in London?’ he said, tentatively.
‘Could you do that?’ she said. ‘Get away for a while?’ What was she doing? And yet the words spilled out.
‘Yeah, of course! If Finan ever hires a sous chef. In fact…’ Monty impulsively grabbed for his phone in his trouser pocket on the floor.
‘What are you doing?’ She didn’t know if she was delighted or horrified.
Monty tapped out the words, reading them back to her. ‘Finan, PLEASE hire me some kitchen cover. Just please!’
He smiled as he showed her the phone, hitting send before her eyes. ‘There.’
In the silence that followed, Joy slipped closer to him, back into the cosy nook under his arm. They settled against the pillows. Monty pulled the covers around them and Joy told him she could stay like this, lying against his chest, forever. Her words alarmed her but were nonetheless true.
Monty seemed to think for a long time after that, while the dawn brightened the room with its pink glow. The silence took on a new kind of heaviness.
‘You, uh, you said you deferred it,’ Monty said at last.
Joy shifted in his arms. ‘Huh?’
‘A place at school, for Radia? You deferred it. That sounds different to you turned it down.’
‘She doesn’t know it, but she can start school on the fourth.’
‘Of September?’
‘Yep.’
‘Wow.’ Monty ran a hand through his hair. She felt the muscles in his chest move and his heart seemed to suddenly beat faster.
‘Why haven’t you told her?’ The question was so tentatively asked, Joy knew he was trying not to spook her.
‘In case I can’t do it. In case, when the time comes, London just feels like too big a step.’
‘But you own a place there?’
‘My flat.’
