‘Cufflinks.’
‘Just buttons,’ Elliot said. ‘Is that OK?’
‘It’s your wedding,’ Jowan said, all irony and apology.
From afar, Minty’s voice penetrated the ballroom’s centuries-old oak door, built to see off raiders with axes and muskets. ‘Get the door, Jowan dear!’
At that, the doorbell chimed, ringing further bells along the corridor in the old butler’s pantry.
‘She knows people are here before they even ring?’ Elliot wondered aloud.
‘Eagle-eyed, better than any goshawk.’
Jowan doubled back to the grand lobby to unbolt the doors, finding a rattled-looking woman, visibly shaking and clutching bulging bags of inflated balloons.
‘Is Mrs Clove-Congreve here?’ she asked.
‘Ah! Are you… Jennifer?’ said Jowan ‘You’d better come in. Minty’s on the phone at the minute.’
‘I’ll just set up here, shall I?’ she asked timidly.
‘Set up?’ said Elliot over Jowan’s shoulder, eyeing the bags as Jennifer wrestled them inside.
‘She, I mean, Mrs Clove-Congreve, wanted to see a balloon arch and some displays in person before she committed to an order,’ said Jennifer with the air of a woman who had a perfectly good online brochure to demonstrate these things but had spent the morning inflating eighty confetti-filled balloons in opaque pastels, shoving them into a minivan and driving all the way from Ilfracombe just because she – like everyone else roped into showcasing their wares for Big House Weddings Inc.– was too in awe of Minty (read: ‘terrified’) to stand up for themselves. Besides, it would be a big contract if she could land it.
‘Done country estate weddings before?’ Jowan asked, helping her strip away the bags, and letting a dozen balloons float up to the peeling rococo ceiling where three popped on shards of old lead paint.
‘Sorry, didn’t know they were helium ones,’ said Jowan looking up and thinking he’d better fetch the ladders quick.
‘Ah, Jennifer, you made it,’ cried Minty, sweeping into the reception hall. ‘Perhaps we should see them in the ballroom,hmm?’ Everyone understood this wasn’t a question.
‘Aren’t balloons a bit…’ Elliot began, scratching at his head. Minty’s eyes snapped to his face and he remembered why he didn’t express opinions when at the Big House.
‘A bit what?’ Minty wanted to know.
‘Well, a bit of an environmental disaster?’
‘I’ve got eco-friendly ones in the workshop?’ Jennifer said. ‘She didn’t ask for eco-friendly ones,’ she added with a great deal of bravery.
‘I already told you the biodegradable ones you showed me on the Zoom looked like…’ she lowered her voice to a whisper, ‘prophylactics.’
Elliot stifled an unfortunate burst of glee.
‘Not when they’re in the shape of a unicorn,’ Jennifer protested.
‘This isn’t a children’s birthday party,’ Minty snapped, before turning to Elliot to remind him it wasn’t a ‘hippy commune’ either. ‘We’re having a tasteful confetti balloon arch and four towers in the corners, all in delicate shades of soft cornflower and powder blue.’
Elliot knew when to give up, and indicated to Jowan to lead the way through the back to where he could hang the wedding outfits, leaving a ruffled Jennifer gaping in their wake, afraid to be left with the perfectionist Minty.
Once out of earshot, Elliot confided in Jowan. ‘Is there nothing you can do? To keep things… contained?’
Jowan only fixed him with a wise look under an arched brow.
Elliot tried again. ‘Jude’s expecting a small wedding. She’s not the fussy type.’
‘Let Mint do all the fussing. All you have to do is enjoy your big day, eh?’
Elliot could only accept his fate as the groom of the year at the wedding of the century.
