‘I tried to keep us together. We were doing all right for the first few months after we moved to Port Kernou. I had the post office job, Maxwell was in charge of school runs and… well, not a lot else – watching daytime telly, mainly.’
Alex allowed herself a small laugh of sympathy. Hearing it, Eve’s eyes welled again.
‘I knew weeks ago that he was at it again, I knew in my gut, you know? Something really wasn’t right.’
‘And you tried to ignore it,’ Alex added.
‘For Stevie’s sake.’
‘But then…?’ Alex urged, knowing how the story ended, only not understanding the stages in between. ‘What made you decide to cheat with Ben?’
Eve recoiled, a sickened look spreading across her face. ‘I didn’t decide to. I was just… miserable, and that day, when I came round to drop your Christmas presents off, Ben invited me in. I knew what he was thinking, as soon as I got inside. He was looking at his phone, checking the time. We chatted for a bit, and he moved over beside me, wanted to know how things were with Maxwell and I couldn’t help crying. Apparently Ben had seen Maxwell with the woman that morning, going into a house off the market square, so that confirmed it. I knew we didn’t have any friends living round there so it definitely had to be her. I was sobbing and embarrassed and hurting, and Ben was right there, and suddenly he kissed me.’
‘Ugh, no, please. Don’t tell me.’ Alex wrapped her arms around her stomach.
‘I never had any intention of doing anything with Ben. But…’
‘But he paid you attention when you were low, and he had the opportunity to cheat, so he took it.’ Alex stood again, all her feelings churning. Hurt, anger, annoyance. What good was this doing her? This hadn’t helped at all. ‘You didn’t have to come here to tell me all this.’
‘I did, because I don’t regret losing Maxwell, and to be honest, Ben didn’t deserve you, so I can’t really regret that you’re not together any more.’
Alex’s eyes blazed but Eve pressed on. ‘I’ve always known he was no good. The way he always kept you hanging, never doing anything nice for you, never listening… but I didn’t ever want to say anything, and then, well, I went and proved he’s rotten, didn’t I?’ Eve drew a fist to her stomach as if she held a dagger and would pierce her flesh. ‘IknowI’m as bad as him – and Maxwell, for that matter – but the regret I’m left with… my only regret is losing you. You were literally the best thing that’s happened in my life since Stevie, and I hurt you so much.’ Eve broke down as she spoke. ‘I love you, Alex, and I know I’m a terrible person, and you’re right to hate me… only I don’t think you do hate me.’
Alex watched Eve bent double and crying hard. She’d never seen her friend like this before.
Eve talked on through sobs. ‘I wish we could go back to Port Kernou and just live on in our homes, without the men around, and Stevie there with me all the time, and we could just be friends again. We could just be happy. I would make it up to you.’ With this, Eve hung her head and wept inconsolably. ‘I know I can’t get you back in my life, but I had to tell you that I won’t forgive myself for hurting you.’
‘I think you hurt yourself more,’ said Alex, and Eve stilled, lifting her head slowly to meet Alex’s eyes.
‘You don’t have to cry. You’re right, Ben isn’t worth all this…’ Alex raised her hands, gesturing to the scene in the boat. She wanted to say he wasn’t worth all the theatrics. ‘He really isn’t. Losing Ben hasn’t hurt me as much as you think. I was more afraid of losing my spot at his mum’s dinner table. Coming here showed me that.’
Eve’s eyes grew wide.
‘I don’t miss Ben, it turns out. We barely spoke towards the end there, and we certainly didn’t… you know, not for ages.’
Eve clamped her lips and nodded in understanding.
‘You’re right about one thing. You did me a favour, Eve. Only you hurt yourself in the process. You don’t have to feel bad about me.’
Eve listened, astonished.
‘You and me, we were both lonely and stuck with blokes who didn’t make us happy, and we didn’t make them happy, and life was just passing us by.’ Alex sighed, her eyes glazing. ‘Do you remember when I came to Stevie’s pre-school sports day? Back in the summer?’
‘Of course, I do.’ A hint of a smile formed at Eve’s lips.
‘And we did the parents’ three-legged race?’
‘Because Maxwell refused to come, said he was busy?’ Eve added.
‘Yeah, busy watchingBargain Hunt.And we were losing until we both tripped and fell over the finish line.’
Eve’s mouth widened into a sad smile, and the sight of her old friend unable to be happy after all her difficulties turned Alex’s heart inside out.
‘I’m not coming back to Port Kernou,’ Alex told her quickly.
‘Because of me?’
‘No, because of me. I’m selling the boat and the house and I’m going to do something new. For me.’
