‘I reached for my phone, trying to film them, and all the time I was walking backwards, trying not to look too threatening – which is kind of hard when you look like this – and I heard the snort of a horse behind me, and something struck my face, really smarting and cutting, like a whip, and I stumbled. After that, it was a mess.
‘I fell against the horse, and it reared and kicked, and then there was a huntsman on the ground, and there was so much blood coming from his head. I don’t know how but his helmet was off, and he was only a young lad really. I tried to help him, but the whole time this guy was filming me and most of the riders on horseback cleared off and the dogs ran with them. An ambulance came, I don’t know, it felt like hours after, and the police came too.
‘I remember there were sabs trying to get me into a car, but I couldn’t leave the guy bleeding on the ground. I may only be a vet but I know how to staunch a bleeding wound, and then there were hands on me and I was in the back of a police car being arrested for GBH.’ He exhales, and his shoulders fall further. ‘And I couldn’t say for sure it wasn’t my fault that he fell, so I didn’t.’
‘Oh my God, Elliot!’ I cry, but he isn’t stopping his tale now.
‘He was in hospital unconscious for days and even when they let me leave the station I wasn’t allowed to visit him or find out how he was doing. The police told me to expect a trial and that I wasn’t allowed to leave the country, and… that’s when the phone calls started at my parents’ place. I still don’t know who it was, telling me I was a murderer and that I’d pay for it, that they’d kill me. I was beside myself.
‘It was still the Christmas holidays and Antonia was with her family and I was stuck at my parents’ place miles from my flat and my work. Their place seemed like the safest option to stay put and it was near the police station.
‘Anyway, it was in the papers and splashed all over the countryside press; a few young huntsmen out exercising their horses on Christmas day, one of them violently knocked from his horse by a drunk vet mistakenly thinking there was an illegal hunt taking place, and now fighting for his life. You see, they’d almost all dispersed by the time the police arrived; there was no evidence of the hunt to be found anywhere.’ Elliot smiles wryly, his eyes glazed.
‘What about the saboteurs? Couldn’t they help you in court?’ I ask.
‘They tried, but with no proof, it was their word against the huntsmen, and the judge didn’t seem all that inclined to listen to a bunch of activists, some of whom had long records of breaching the peace or trespassing, all while trying to stop illegal hunting, of course.
‘Anyway, I only found out the lad was going to live when I was called to court. The relief, you know!’ He dissolves into sobbing tears that shake his frame. ‘I thought I’d killed him. For days, I thought he was dead.’
I fall onto my knees at Elliot’s feet and clasp his hands in mine and he lets me do it. ‘What happened next?’
‘The case was pretty big, anduh… I told you my dad’s in agriculture? That’s not strictly true, I’m sorry. He owns a lot of land in my home county,uh, family land, going back generations. He’s very well connected with all the hunts across the surrounding counties too, going back years, so his friends were furious with him, and with me, and it caused him a lot of shame and embarrassment.
‘Mum’s a local councillor and she had to face difficult public meetings with people wanting to know about her hooligan son. Then the vet’s practice where I worked were getting calls too, asking that I be struck off for attacking a horse and causing a man to fall – that’s what their barristers said I did – and it was reported like that in all the papers, but I swear, Jude, I’d never,everharm an innocent animal.’
‘I know that. I never for a second thought you would.’ I squeeze his hands tightly.
‘My practice manager said it would be better if I laid low until the case was over – and like everyone else, they assumed I’d end up in prison – so they relieved me of my job. And so did my college. They have a certain reputation to keep up, and there were complaints from students and their families. Even my YouTube channel was deluged with death threats and the most awful comments you’ve ever seen, accusing me of all sorts, and I had to take that down too. I felt besieged, and like my whole life and all my achievements were being erased. The case lasted months, and all the time I stuck to my version of events, pleading that I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.’
‘Which you were,’ I interrupt.
‘Except they had a video,’ Elliot says abruptly, tears still wet on his face. ‘They showed it in court one day and it changed the whole course of the trial. In the dark and from the angle it was shot, it really did look like I lunged at the horse and caused the rider to fall.’ His tone changes from despair to bitterness. ‘After they showed it in court, my parents didn’t want me in the house. Dad said he couldn’t look at me anymore, and Mum… well, she didn’t say anything at all.’ Elliot swallows hard. ‘Then there was Antonia. She’d been supportive up until that point, in her own way, I guess, but when the tide seemed to turn against me in court she just took off. My stuff was in bin bags by the door of our flat when I got back there, and I was, to all intents, homeless.
‘I had some pretty decent savings so I’ve been living off those, staying in a hotel near the court. Everything was adjourned for a few weeks while the lawyers scrabbled for better evidence, and that’s when Jowan called me.’ His eyes meet mine guiltily. ‘I knew I was supposed to stay put, and I knew I’d be sharing the bookshop with another person, but I honestly thought I could keep myself to myself, stay in my room and out of trouble for a fortnight, working during the day to take my mind off things and getting away from myself and anyone who knew me. I didn’t realise how close you and I would be here… how close we’d become. And all the time, I was telling myself to keep my distance from you, and keep the truth from you, and I loved the way you looked at me, like I wasn’t a monster, like I was my old self.’
Elliot takes my hands in his and places them onto my lap where he leaves them, like he’s already accepted that I won’t want him touching me again, like I’m going to cast him aside too.
‘Minty, she knew,’ he says, grimly. ‘I could tell from the first moment we met she recognised me from the pictures in the country magazines, but she couldn’t place me, at first. She was looking at me like everyone else I knew back home – the way the jurors had, the way my parents do – she looked at me like I was a threat… a criminal. I kept hoping she wouldn’t work it out and that I could stay here and just enjoy my break before I went back and… well, it was unrealistic to expect I could get away with that. And the phone kept ringing and every time it did I was terrified that this was it, that there was some new evidence uncovered that would send me down for sure.’
‘That’s why the CPS called here?’ I ask.
‘Uh-huh, they were keeping me up to date with the case, making sure I wasn’t doing a runner. Eventually, on the day your friend came to visit you here, I got word I had to go back to court. There were police waiting for me at Truro to escort me, and I went. You were at the book club. I didn’t have time to say goodbye to you. I had to pack up and leave. Didn’t even have time to cash up.’
‘I thought you’d had enough of me, or that maybe you were… jealous of Daniel and you’d stormed off.’ I cringe at my self-centred stupidity. ‘Here you were dealing with all that, and I was running around thinking…’ Suddenly, it hits me, and my words falter, and I want to curl into a ball of embarrassment. ‘I overheard you talking on the phone.’
‘Huh?’
‘That night, you were talking toyour parents? Asking if you could go home. Begging forgiveness.’
‘Oh.’
‘I thought you were talking to your wife or something.’
I’m so glad when Elliot laughs. ‘Wife? There’s no wife. As if I’d go falling in love with you if I was married.’
‘What!’ I spring up onto my knees, then retreat back into the chair. ‘What did you say?’
‘Oh, shit, I’m sorry.’ Elliot is cowed and his eyes dart around, his voice turning staccato. ‘I shouldn’t have said that. I’ve been trying so hardnotto say it all this time, because I’ve no right to. I came here and messed everything up for you, even though youtoldme you were here to recover and to have fun, and I stomped all over your dream holiday in my size elevens, spoiling everything. So I tried to withdraw, leave you in peace, but it was too late, we’d gone so far, and I’d really come to… know you. But I had this whole secret life to hide. I knew if you ever found out, you’d look at me the way Antonia did. You’d hate me too.’
