I watch him take a deep breath.I knew it!He’s come crawling back. He can’t live without me.
Mixed in with the feelings of triumph and self-satisfaction there’s something else, something I’m too delirious to recognise as trepidation.
‘You see, I reallyhadto come see you today,’ he says in a low voice, his eyes still cast down at my hand. ‘It’s um… it’s…’
‘It’s because you miss me.’
Cole draws his hand away.
‘Um, I was going to say… it’s my mum.’
What the actual fuck?My mouth clamps shut.
‘She wants the ring back.’
Well, I wasnotexpecting that. The world spins off its axis and my stomach lurches in response. All I can do is fold my arms tightly over the cushion and inwardly count to ten, trying not to scream.
He knows I’m counting, and he lets me – he’s seen me do this often enough in the past, it’s my way of calming myself down, though, it strikes me, I haven’t needed to run through these numbers for months now.
Eventually I’m able to speak again. ‘She what?’ It’s more of a growl than actual words but he gets my drift.
‘You remember it was my grandmother’s? Mum says it’s a family heirloom, so I have to get it back. She wants to give it to her granddaughter.’ He’s sheepish now. At least he has the good grace to be ashamed of running this horrible errand. Bloody mummy’s boy.
‘Granddaughter? Not Clementine? She’s already got the four boys! Poor woman.’
Cole shakes his head, and I think for a moment before laughing wickedly.
‘HasKelvingot someone pregnant?’ The thought of Cole’s weedy, layabout younger brother even so much as talking to a woman seems wholly implausible, let alone the idea that he might have impregnated one.
As I’m saying all this, I notice the look on Cole’s face, like a bold little boy caught stealing in a sweetshop. He seems… not ashamed, exactly, but he has a look of cheeky chagrin, as though he’s been rumbled and is enjoying the powerless shopkeeper’s haranguing.
The world lists again and I try to rein in my shock so he doesn’t see it. ‘It’s you.You’rehaving a baby.’
I don’t remember much else, just a few snatches of Cole’s voice, weak and cowardly. She’s a girl in his cabin crew… twelve-week scan… and the time’s never really right to start a family, is it? But he’s excited anyway and…
I’m half aware of Dad showing Cole to the door with a civil restraint he definitely doesn’t deserve, and it’s possible, just possible, that I shouted out something about fucking the fuck off and never coming back, but I can’t be sure. And that was it.
Poor Mum and Dad’s New Yorkbon voyagecelebration begins and ends with them cradling their daughter on her childhood bed as she wails her heart out for all that she’s lost. The last thing I register before I fall asleep is Dad muttering under his breath to Mum, ‘That bloodybastard! Why did I let him in?’
Chapter Four
Nari Bell, travel writer and lone adventurer.
This is my #nomadgirl blog. One woman, one great big world to explore.
I’m a romantic, I’m a realist, I prefer the road less travelled. I’m at home anywhere and everywhere but am especially close to Seoul and Glasgow (my parents’ home cities) and Cheshire, where I hang my hat.
Welcome back, and a big Hello to all my new followers.
Today is my blogiversary! Ten whole years travelling the world, exploring the culture, art, history and food of other countries, sharing it all with you, my readers, through stories and photos.
If you’re new to the site, expect blogs about independent escapes and all the ups and downs of flying solo with one aim in mind: inspiring you to venture outside your comfort zone.
I started this blog a decade ago, combining my old dating blog with my passion for international getaways. And I know some of you loyal fans miss the old days where the blog was moreSex And The Citythan city break travel hacks, but I’m very much your lone travel guru these days.
I’m feeling pretty proud of what I’ve achieved since me and my blog set off on that first trip a decade ago (spending a sunny winter discovering Agadir and Ouarzazate, and occasionally spilling the deets about hot dates under the date palms) but, even back then, the essence of my blog was there: I travelled alone, relying only on me, my passport, my camera and my GPS. I’ll tell you what I wanted back then (and still want now) from travelling:
