Niilo glanced down at her hand, his breathing suddenly ragged. Was she going to touch him? He didn’t think he could bear it, and he didn’t think he could survive without it. But Nari, sensing his panic, and suddenly confused and not wanting to show it, let her fingers fall away, pointing instead to the bundle of small sticks in the chest pocket of hisgákti.
‘And those, what are those for?’ she asks, a little flustered and with the air of someone expecting another story.
‘These? They’re sticks. For the fire.’ This was said bluntly and accompanied by a level stare, and then, in a sudden, awkward movement, Niilo took the shoes from her hands and locked them away with the drum and his other precious treasures. Nari noted the change in mood and the sharp turn of the cabinet’s little key.
‘Oh!’ She tried to laugh off her mistake.
‘I’m a man, not a wizard.’
‘What? I’m sorry, I—’
‘I’m tired of visitors to the resort seeing me as some kind of Shamanic He-man, a kind of exotic make-believe man… a conquest. They see nothing but a fancy costume and it sparks some kind of fantasy in their heads, but they haven’t got a clue who I am.’
‘OK, I said I was sorry.’ Nari paced over to the hearth and looked down into its flames. ‘But if you think you’ve got the monopoly on people misreading you, then you don’t, OK?’ She looked up in time to see Niilo’s throat move as he swallowed and cast his eyes to the floor.
This couldn’t be happening again, he thought. Not this strained awkwardness, not after the exhilaration of their ride out to the cabin, not after he’d sung for her and seen the tears in her eyes.
‘No, I’m the one who is sorry,’ he said, taking a few steps towards her. ‘I shouldn’t have said what I said. Not to you. Will you forgive me?’
‘It’s all right. I get it.’
‘No, I didn’t mean to accuse you of… I got nervous. I thought you were reaching for me, and I don’t know why, I panicked. I got it wrong.’
Shehadwanted to reach for him, to slip her arms around him and let him hold her, but the panic in his eyes had startled her too.
Attempting a smile and a shrug, she reaches for the bottle of liqueur. ‘Come on, mix me that cocktail you promised me.’
The pair settle on the sofa, and Niilo uses his knife to work open the can of cream before pouring the sweet straw-coloured liqueur and vodka into the chilled coffee, the rhythms of their hearts steadying again.
‘I’m sorry… again. I don’t want to hurt you. I’m not suspicious of you, I know you’re not here for the wrong reasons.’
Nari raises her hand and stills him, and his eyes smile. Their brief storm has blown over.
‘Geonbae,’ she says, holding her tumbler to his.
‘Kippis!’
Nari joins him in a cautious sip, her eyes widening over the rim of the cup.
‘Goodgrief! That’s delicious, but it’s strong. Can I have some more cream in mine?’ Nari’s voice is hoarse and she coughs hard to clear the burning sensation in her throat as Niilo dilutes her drink a little. She is careful to keep a little distance between them on the sofa, remembering how startled he had been a moment ago.
‘Tell me more about your family. They were herders?’ she asks, hoping he’ll open up.
‘Yes, going back for a few generations.’
‘Is that what you wanted to do as a kid?’
‘It was all I knew. I helped with my family herd, but I was too young to take over when my father died and so my father’s brother received the family herd, and I hear it’s much smaller and belongs to his daughter now.’
‘But you have your own herd here.’
‘Yes. For tourists. It’s not the same thing.’
‘How many do you have?’
‘It’s not very polite to ask this question, and far worse to give an answer. That’s like me asking you how much cash you have in your bank account. Although, since I’m not technically a herder, I guess I can tell you. I have only forty-eight. At one time, my family farmed thousands of animals. But my Frozen Falls reindeer are still marked with my family cut on their ears; the bear’s paw. I learned to cut the marks when I was just a child. My grandmother taught me.’
‘You said you used to go on migrations with other family’s herds, do you miss it?’
