‘And I’m a working woman. But I make time for myself too, and I want to see every inch of the planet before I die. I’ve got big plans.’
Niilo nods encouragingly, hoping to deflect what he assumed was Nari’s disappointment in his slow, settled life. ‘Tell me about what you do back home.’
‘Well… I read, I cook, I watch Netflix with Sylvie, and I take her to cocktail bars. What else do we do? When I’m not travelling, we go to her parents’ house for Sunday lunch and we take it in turns to make dessert, it’s a sort of cooking contest. I’m the reigning pudding-making champion, you can’t beat my chocolate and walnut brownies – so that’s a whole thing we do.’
‘Sounds good.’ Niilo leans his elbow on the bar, his cheek resting on his fist.
‘You want me to go on? Umm… I like going to spa hotels. They’re the best kind of working holiday, actually. For a start, they’re usually freebies, and I get a good night’s sleep, have lots of luscious treatments, eat beautiful food, then I write it all up and post it to my blog. Sometimes I take Sylvie with me, if they’re in England, that is.’
‘You two are good friends.’
‘The best. Like you and Stellan. I see how you two are with each other. It’s adorable.’
Niilo laughs. ‘He’s a stubborn ass, but I love him, yes. He’s all my family now.’ Seeing Nari’s expression change to one of sympathy, Niilo inwardly scolds himself for bringing the atmosphere down, just as it had been picking up.
‘What happened?’ she asks, putting her drink on the bar.
Reluctantly at first, and after clearing his throat, stalling for time, Niilo answers. ‘Nothing dramatic. My parents were both what you might call elderly for working people. Their time came. Father first, when I was sixteen, and then my mother when I was twenty. And that was it. If my love for them had been enough to keep them alive, they’d never have died. But nature does its work, when it is time.’
‘Doesn’t it just,’ Nari exclaims in response, leaning closer to Niilo. ‘I lost my dad when I was twenty-one. God, I was devastated. I’d just graduated from uni, and me and Sylvie had moved in together in a place called Castlewych. I still live there, actually. It’s lovely, close enough to Manchester for the clubs, but quiet enough to feel cosy. Anyway, Mum was miserable without Dad and she started longing to be with her parents in Seoul. She just didn’t want to stay there any more. She wanted me to go with her, but I had a life of my own by then.’
‘You were born in Manchester?’
‘Oh no, after years of living out of suitcases, Mum, Dad and me moved to England when I was little. Dad worked for a tech firm that was based in Manchester. Eventually that’s where we settled, and I met Sylvie at Manchester uni.’
‘You must miss your mother?’
‘Uh-huh, but I visit her every spring. She lives with my grandmother now – the FaceTime queen! Every Saturday without fail, there’s Grandma, asking if I’m eating properly and whether I’ve got a boyfriend yet.’
The ripples of gentle laughter warmed them both. This felt better, thought Niilo. The frayed threads of the grief that made up the fabric of their separate lives seemed to be somehow entwining and binding them together.
Out of this new atmosphere came talk of Nari’s plans for the coming year. Niilo listened as she described spring in Seoul, then summer in the Hebrides, Paris and Mombasa, before an autumn journey on the Trans Siberian Express from Moscow to St Petersburg. All the while her eyes sparkled and she gazed somewhere beyond him into her imagination, into her future. Suddenly, she snapped out of her daze. ‘And you? Where are you heading off to?’
‘Me?’ Niilo started. ‘Nowhere. I can’t leave Stellan and the resort.’
She nods, and a stillness settles as their conversation falters to a stop.
‘Listen, do you want to get out of here?’ Nari looks around her at the strange mixture of taxidermy animal heads on plaques, American football memorabilia and leprechauns. ‘I’m not going to get much information for my blog in this place. No offense, but it sucks. Can you give me the insider’s scoop? Take me somewhere nobody knows?’
‘There is one place I thought of. I’m willing to bet a tourist hasn’t ever stepped inside the doors. But we should eat in town first, before the drive. It’s a few kilometres outside of Saariselkä.’
‘I’m intrigued. Let’s go!’
Saariselkä is bustling with tourists. There are festive lights in the shapes of white stars and snowflakes on every lamppost and the hotels are gearing up for special Christmas meals for the tourists.
‘People eat early in Lapland?’ said Nari, detecting the delicious kitchen aromas swirling on the cold air as they cross the wide main street.
‘We do everything early in winter. I ate lunch at eleven today, and I’m usually asleep by ten, if the herd are behaving themselves. It’s harder when there are babies to look after,’ said Niilo holding his hand out to Nari, watching her step over the snow piled up along the gutter.
She too reaches her hand out to meet his but they don’t quite make contact, a little of the awkwardness of the Shamrocks bar returns, and then the moment for touching is past. They walk on, hands now shoved into pockets.
‘I guess the dark drives people indoors in the evening. I get it. But I’m a night owl, I stay awake reading until the early hours of the morning. We’d never get on, you and I.’ Nari bumps an elbow into his arm to punctuate her gentle gibe.
Niilo’s laugh is hollow, betraying the uneasiness troubling him. They stroll side by side in silence, their breath turning to white vapour and clouding their vision.
‘Nowhere’s really open for dinner tonight, except the hotels. Christmas Eve here is basically as important as your Christmas Day in England. Most of the shops and restaurants are closed and the workers are at home with their families. We could try the burger place? It’s always open,’ says Niilo, stopping to cast his eyes along the street opposite.
‘Burgers it is.’
