‘I doubt it. Stellan looked positively irate with me. I’d rather avoid him, if you don’t mind.’
Nari’s shaking her head and laughing as the door closes and I’m sealed into my cosy cabin alone.
The evening passes without bumping into Stellan or Niilo again, and I can’t say I’m very upset about that; I’m still reeling from Stellan’s oafish rudeness.
‘Why shouldn’t I be here? He doesn’townLapland as far as I’m aware,’ I say to Nari as I make short work of a tender steak in the resort restaurant. The pleasant Christmassy music tinkling over the speakers above our cosy booth feels at odds with my frayed nerves.
The walk from our cabins out on the edge of the resort along a snow-ploughed road beneath gleaming stars did nothing to help me recover the calm and serenity of our cosy, boozy afternoon nap. Neither did having to wrestle off my snowsuit and boots in the restaurant lobby whilst the other diners calmly watched me.
The holiday makers way up here in the remote North seem to be mainly rather sophisticated-looking couples or families with children old enough to cope with the freezing temperatures and treacherous conditions, certainly better equipped for the cold than the toddlers and primary school kids we saw back at the airport who were heading for the big family friendly resorts further south.
The restaurant sits just off the lobby of the resort’s main hotel and the entire place has an air of rustic Scandi cool. Four snowy paths radiate out from the hotel to each point of the compass and at each one stands a little cluster of cabins among the trees.
As we trudged along the path from our cabins towards dinner I didn’t spot a single building; no souvenir shops or ski centre, nothing. Over our meal Nari told me those can be found a few kilometres away in Saariselkä itself and that, if I want, we can take the resort bus there tomorrow for a mooch around, but somehow I’m struggling to make meaningful conversation tonight.
‘Earth to Sylvie Magnusson, do you read me?’
‘Sorry, I was…’
‘You don’t need to tell me. I know what you’re thinking. I’m disappointed too. From everything you told me about him, I thought your Stellan would at least be pleased to see you.’
I shrug and set to work on the creamy potatoes and broccoli. ‘Maybe I’m misremembering him.’
‘You were crazy about each other once upon a time, and your face lit up every time you mentioned him, so he must have had some redeeming qualities way back when you knew him.’
I think of the Stellan I’d written about in my diary and sigh. ‘Oh well. Let’s change the subject. He’s not glad I’m here and that’s all I need to know. Let’s try to enjoy our Christmas without arrogant, puffed-up Viking men spoiling our fun.’
‘Niilo didn’t seem very puffed-up to me. I wouldn’t mind bumping into him again,’ Nari says, with a grin that tells me she’s surprised even herself by saying this out loud, before she straightens her mouth and contentedly places her cutlery on an empty, sauce-streaked plate.
‘What about Stephen?’ I say.
‘What about him? What goes on above the Arctic Circle stays above the Arctic Circle. He wouldn’t mind anyway.’ This is said with a dryness I pretend not to notice, for Nari’s sake.
And I couldn’t agree more. Let’s leave my humiliating encounter with my surly ex-boyfriend here, buried under a ton of snow.
Even with the surprise of seeing Stellan again, dinner is good. The waiting staff are incredibly friendly and they bring us everything we want, including some particularly amazing chocolate cake and the strongest coffee I’ve ever tasted. And it is wonderful to sit by the window gazing out at the snowy world beyond, feeling warm and cosseted in our booth beneath the thick garlands of greenery and red bows that criss-cross the restaurant ceiling. But I still can’t help occasionally looking around for Stellan, wondering how he’d found his way to my cabin door.
Is this his hotel? I know his parents ran a resort and husky centre somewhere near here back in the early noughties. Maybe our cabins are part of their business? I guess Stellan could have read my Facebook message and quickly checked the guest list. But why come out in the dark and snow looking for me only to trudge off into the night again after a few gruff words?
I think about our encounter during the slow walk back to our cabins after dinner, the dark night penetrated only by the slim moon, the stars overhead and the flaming torches lining the road and placed at ten or so metre intervals. Nari’s busy telling me that the torches are typical of the ones used by Sámi reindeer herders on their long walks between villages, but I’m ashamed to say I’m not taking much of it in.
‘Maybehe’sthe one that’s disappointed, Nari?’ I blurt out, interrupting her. ‘Did he rush out to see me, hoping I’d still be a cute, perky nineteen-year-old and what he found was… well, me?’
‘Bollocks. It’s not that. It’s that he’s a rude Neanderthal who’s spent so long in the frozen North it’s turned him into a cold-hearted old beast. Although, he didlookpretty good. From what I saw of him anyway.’
The history teacher in me rankles – and maybe so does the Stellan’s Ex-Girlfriend in me – and I find myself pointing out to Nari that calling someone a Neanderthal isn’t much of an insult as they were actually a highly advanced species. This goes down as well with Nari as it does with my Year Nine kids, so I get off my high horse and let my shoulders slump in defeat.
‘Why are we doing this?’ I say as I stop at the steps of my cabin. ‘We’re in the most beautiful place I’ve ever seen, it’s Christmas, we’re together, and we’re talking about another one of my dickhead exes.’
‘Hmm… Maybe he’s not as frosty as we first thought,’ says Nari, her eyes fixed on something over my shoulder.
Confused, I follow her gaze to the top of my cabin steps. Beside my door stands a tall glass jar with a flickering candle inside that definitely wasn’t there before. The candlelight casts its glow over a carved wooden animal nestled in the snow. And there’s a note.
Nari nearly knocks me off my feet in her haste to grab it. She’s terrifying in everyday life but now she’s wrapped in four inches of padded snowsuit and can actually rugby tackle me, I’m left defenceless. I stand aside and watch her struggle out of her gloves and tear into the envelope with glee. She dramatically clears her throat before reading.
Sylvie, I apologise for earlier. I was shocked to find you here in my resort and I was very tired tonight. I’ve been guiding tourists through the wilderness with Niilo for five days. I was rude, and I am sorry. Please allow us to show you and your friend around Frozen Falls resort. It would be our pleasure. We will meet you after breakfast in the hotel lobby.
Stellan.
