“Please, Enrique,” she said. “I just need some space.”
His inner peace turned again to turmoil. Enrique tried to not let her words bother him, but it felt like a punch to the gut.
He had gone too fast, but he couldn’t help himself—he was crazy about her. It was fine with him that she didn’t like yoga... but he sensed that she was pulling away from him for other reasons.
Chapter Thirty
Carolina walked away from the yoga studio down to Calumet Park.
She stopped in the middle of the grass to get a breath of fresh air. Then sat on a bench and overlooked the rocky cliffs. How amazing to have a park above the ocean. San Diego was incredible. She was glad she had come here.
Even so, she had to gather her thoughts.
Ever since leaving home, she hadn’t spent a moment alone. Aside from the night with her tía, Enrique had always been with her, and though he was great—truly the best—she felt overwhelmed by her thoughts. He was talking to her about the future, and she wasn’t even sure what she was doing tomorrow. He wasn’t controlling like her father, but it still seemed... suffocating?
And the yoga class had not been her scene. She’d felt supremely uncomfortable. She knew that yoga wasn’t inherently religious, but it felt contrary to her beliefs. Sure, she was a complete sinner by now, but she still was Catholic, and her spirituality involved saints andSunday school, not incense and mantras. She knew some people just saw yoga as a workout, but she didn’t feel comfortable chanting and praying in that way.
Enrique seemed at home there. It was beautiful to see that he was connected to something he believed in. But it made her feel farther apart from him.
Who was she now? How could she reconcile her past and present?
And what would she do next?
She couldn’t live with Enrique. Staying with her aunt had been helpful and it had made her realize that she wasn’t comfortable moving in with Enrique, but that hadn’t brought her any closer to a solution. She had her farm, and she had a whole life back home she’d miss too terribly. And she would need to find a new place to live if she went back. She was lost.
What she desperately wanted was to talk to Blanca.
She called one more time, listening to that lonely ringing tone over, over, and over again.
“Carolina?”
She nearly dropped the phone in surprise. “Blanca!”
“I don’t have long to talk. If Papá finds out I’m speaking to you, he’ll take my phone.”
“So, nothing has changed?” Carolina’s heart sank.
“Nothing. Baby asked about you, and he yelled at her. It was awful.”
Nausea swirled in her stomach. Poor Sofía. “That’s horrible. I miss her. I miss everyone.”
“I miss you, too. Are you okay? Are you with Enrique?”
A bird landed on a rock in the ocean.
“I am staying with him, Blanca, but I’m not going to move in with him. And I spent last night at Tía Luísa’s.”
“Really? I’m so jealous. How is she?”
“She’s great. She has a wonderful life. Her dogs are so cool. You should come and visit.”
Blanca laughed. “Papá would never allow me, that is, not unless I marry Tiburón, then he could take me, or we could move down there. Oh my God. Tiburón is so amazing. I think it’s really going to work out!”
Carolina’s throat closed. She should be happy for her sister, but anguish overtook her. “That’s great.”
“Come home. I miss you.”
“You know I can’t.” Her throat itched. What if Blanca married Tiburón? Would she be allowed at their wedding? What other events would she miss out on? Births? Funerals? Would Carolina ever see her family again?
