“Well, first of all, you’ve hardly been around, and he’s kept you to himself, so people haven’t spoken to you much. Plus, you have to remember that not all folks are as accepting of people who hang around with the enemy, so they’re not gonna tell you anything. We all thought he was doing you a favor, not shacking up with you. Why would we think differently?” She says this without judgment and a hint of pity as she looks at me.
She must think I’m some stupid, naive girl who’s been duped into falling for the oldest trick in the book. A married man looking for a bit of fun with a young, vulnerable woman while his wife is out of town.
“Oh my god, I can’t believe this is happening. How could I have been so stupid?”
She reaches out and squeezes my hand comfortingly. “You shouldn’t blame yourself. He lied to you.”
But I fell for it. It explains so much, like why we didn’t leave the house much together, why his room was so empty.Because it wasn’t his room at all. It was probably just the place he crashed when he was too drunk or tired to ride home. He couldn’t very well have taken me to his actual home, which would no doubt have lots of women’s items.
“What should I do? Do I confront him?” I ask, thinking aloud.
“That was probably his wife coming home now. If she sees you and figures things out, it will destroy her. She’s been worrying that he’s not attracted to her body since she gave birth.”
“They have a child?” I ask, horrified.
“Yes, a little girl, she’s only ten months old.”
I can’t believe this is happening. There’s no way I’ll be the other woman, or worse, responsible for breaking up a marriage and taking a father away from a child. “I’ve got no money and no place to go,” I admit as hot, shameful tears run down my cheeks.
“I can lend you some cash to get a bus out of here into the city and to pay for a few nights in a motel while you look for a job. Pretty young thing like you should get a bar job in no time. It’s for the best,” she says softly.
She’s right. I can’t stay here. Not now. Not now that I know Rex lied to me, that I’ve been played for a fool. That my staying could ruin a little girl’s family.
I have to leave. Tonight. Before Rex returns. I can’t bear to see his face again.
Chapter 5
Lena
Three Years Later
Iwatch as my little girl, Mia, sits quietly in the booth, practicing coloring in, her little tongue sticking out the side of her mouth as she concentrates, legs swinging under the table. Big Joe sits beside her, praising her choice of crayons. I’m incredibly lucky to have this job. I work at Big Joe’s Diner as a waitress. Big Joe is a giant of a man with the heart to match. He took me in when I had nowhere else to go.
Having fled to the city with no belongings and no money three years ago, I was determined to make it on my own. After three months of scraping by and living in cockroach-infested bedsits and working in late-night dive bars, I found out I was pregnant, with a married man’s child, no less.
Or worse, with Zeke’s child. But that’s a possibility I won’t allow myself to entertain. Besides, Mia looks too much like Rex for me to believe she’s anything other than his.
I told myself that maybe the best thing would be to terminate the pregnancy. I had no way to provide for a child. I could barely provide for myself. But already I had fallen in love with my baby. I couldn’t do it.
But I knew I couldn’t go back to Rex. I wouldn’t allow myself to even think of him. The pain of his lies was still too raw. Plus, there was a slim chance he wasn’t the father. If the baby was Zeke’s, then all the more reason that I had to stay away. There is no way I would let him anywhere near my child;to him, they would be a pawn and another way to control me. I also knew that my returning pregnant with a child that could potentially belong to leaders of two rival clubs would potentially lead to an all-out war between them, and I wasn’t about to start that, or raise my child in it.
So, I swallowed my pride and went crawling back to the one person who has always been there for me, even when I didn’t deserve it. Big Joe fostered me when no one else would take me in, right before I aged out of the system. When I was getting into trouble and running away, Big Joe was the one who steered me back on track and kept me from losing myself entirely. I shouldn’t have stayed away so long, but I was ashamed of how I treated him when I last saw him and embarrassed for him to see what my life had become. How low I had sunk. But with a baby on the way, I knew I needed to put her first and ask for help. Of course, Big Joe welcomed me back with open arms and no apologies needed.
Not only was Big Joe there for me through the pregnancy, but he’s also been great at helping to care for Mia while I work and letting me bring her to work with me. I don’t know what I would have done without his help. Mia calls him Pop-Pop, and honestly, he feels like a grandfather figure to me, too. He’s always ready to listen and offer sage words of wisdom with a twinkle in his eyes. His face is a map of lines, each one telling a story of a remarkable man who has endured much.
Big Joe’s Diner is a well-loved staple in town, as familiar and comfortable as the red leather booths and Formica counter. Big Joe was here fighting for Civil Rights back when this diner was a ‘Blacks only’ joint that would get vandalized regularly by white supremacist hate groups. The fact that he fought his way through that to turn Big Joe’s into a thriving, successful business is a testament to him.
The diner is quiet tonight, and I’m almost about to clock off to take Mia home to bed, so after ensuring the customers we have are happy and their drinks are filled, I head over to Mia and Big Joe. “What a beautiful picture, Mia, you’re such a clever girl!” I say, looking at the mass of scribbles.
“Pop-Pop thinks she did such a good job that maybe Mia should get a chocolate milk as a little treat before bed,” Big Joe says, grinning conspiratorially at Mia before looking at me.
Mia giggles with delight, thinking she’s pulled one over on me. Obviously, she’s been pestering him for chocolate milk, and he’s said I have to approve it to get out of being the bad guy. He spoils her rotten, and I find myself caving in most of the time just because it makes them so happy.
“Oh, does he now? It wasn’t your idea, Mia?” I say, my voice jokingly chastising.
“Uh-uh,” she giggles, shaking her head vigorously.
“Well, in that case, I guess chocolate milk all round,” I reply, scooping Mia into my arms and kissing her chubby cheeks.
