“Still. I can tell,” Joe says sagely before adding, “I’ve met Rex, too. He’s a good man. He cares for you deeply.”
I’m surprised to hear this. “I thought it was only Doc who had been coming and checking on your progress.”
Big Joe shakes his head. “Nope. Your Rex wanted to meet me right away and thank me for taking care of you over the past three years. He told me he’d been worried about you and was relieved that you had someone, especially since you had a child. He’s Mia’s father, isn’t he?” Big Joe was always perceptive, I’m not surprised he figured it out.
“Can’t keep anything from you,” I say with a smile. “When did you figure it out?”
He smiles back. “The moment I met him. Mia has his eyes. Does he know?”
“He does now.” I briefly tell him about Rex and my time with the guys, leaving out the sex, of course.
“I’m glad to hear that these men are looking after you. Though I can’t say I’m thrilled about you getting caught in the middle of a turf war with two rival motorcycle gangs.”
“They prefer to be called clubs.”
“I’m sure they do. I’ll get out of here soon. We can leave the state, move somewhere this Zeke won’t find you.”
I know Big Joe means it. He’d move to the ends of the earth for Mia. He’d give up his café, everything he’s built, for her. “I can’t let you give up your life for us.”
“Oh honey, you and Mia are my life. I’d do anything for you.”
I squeeze his hand. “I know. But I can’t ask you to. I thought about leaving, too. But I don’t want that life for Mia, living on the run, always worrying that one day Zeke will find us. Besides, Mia deserves to have her father in her life.”
“He’d follow you if you left,” Big Joe points out.
“I know,” I reply, realizing it’s the truth. “But I can’t ask Rex to leave his life behind either. The guys, they’re like brothers, more than that.”
Big Joe studies me carefully. “You have feelings for them, too.”
I nod carefully, unsure of how much to give away, of what he’ll think.
“I fell in love with a married woman once. I thought that when her husband found out, he’d beat the crap outa me. It turned out that he had known all along, was fine with it, and had his own lovers, too. It worked for them, sharing their bed, didn’t make them love each other any less.”
I’m mildly scandalized to hear this from Big Joe. It’s strange to think of the elderly as having sex, let alone swinging. Joe chuckles at my expression.
“I’m old, not dead. You forget that I was a young man in the sixties. They called it the Summer of Love for a reason. I won’t gross you out any more than I have. All I’m saying is, I understand that love comes in many forms and that it’s possible to love more than one person at a time. If you’re lucky enough to find someone or more than one person, you should hold onto them. Not everyone gets a chance at love.”
A weight has been lifted from my shoulders. It’s a relief to know Big Joe won’t judge me if I pursue things with the guys. I wouldn’t want to lose him.
“There’s nothing you could do that would make me love you any less,” Big Joe says, as if reading my mind.
“Thank you,” I tell him, hugging him tightly. “I should go find Judge and Mia. She’s probably running him ragged.”
“That one’s in love with you, too. Let him down easy, if you don’t feel the same.”
I shake my head in disbelief. Judge has done nothing to make me think he has romantic feelings for me.
“No grown man is volunteering to do babysitting duty unless he’s family or into the mother,” Big Joe says wryly.
“Oh, that is so old-fashioned of you, Big Joe.”
“Fine. Then, if that isn’t proof enough, the moon-eyes he gives you should be,” he says triumphantly.
I laugh. “You think every man is in love with me.”
“That’s because they usually are. These ones definitely are.”
At that moment, Judge and Mia return, and the room becomes a whirlwind of chaos again with Mia. I watch as Mia and Judge interact, full of love. I feel Judge’s eyes on me, and I blush, wondering if Big Joe is right. Could he have feelings for me? While I find him attractive, and the others have mentioned that all four of them would be interested in sharing, I haven’t fully considered being with him either. I just didn’t think he was into me. The others made their interest perfectly clear, and Judge hasn’t. But perhaps he just isn’t as forward. He’s certainly more reserved and quiet than the others. Do I want Judge too?
