‘Are we going to talk about this?’ he asks, as if he hasn’t already spoken a thousand words.
There’s a shift in his expression to something that resembles pity. The look churns in the pit of my stomach and cripples my chest. Then my eyes sting and there’s nothing I can do to stop the silent tears from rolling down my cheeks.
‘Why?’ I whisper with no strength in my words.
He takes a step towards me, his arms raised like he’s going to touch me. I jerk away from him.
‘Don’t touch me. Don’t you dare touch me.’
‘Scarlett, please don’t cry.’
‘Just tell me why. Why are you so desperate to get rid of me?’
His head falls to his chest and he looks up at me through burdened eyes. Despite everything, I want to hold him.
‘You were right, Scarlett, when you said we’re bad for each other. Except you’re not bad for me.’
‘Then why push me away?’
‘For your own good. You should be with someone ten times the person I am.’
‘Fuck you, Gregory, and your fucking righteousness.’ Mytears turn to spitting anger. ‘You’re a coward. You don’t love me and you’ve made damn sure you can get rid of me without having to tell me that. The last three weeks have been a joke, haven’t they? In fact all of this, two months, since the start. You wanted me to help you with your hostile takeover but you didn’t anticipate my dad being murdered as a consequence. So you stayed, felt like you had to, thought you’d let me down gently, eventually.’
‘Scarlett.’
‘No. You didn’t think I loved you enough to kill a man, did you? That’s a game changer right there. You had to keep me here until the case went away. Now you can finally get what you want: rid of me.’
‘Just hear me out.’
‘Oh, you mean discuss something with you? The way you discussed stealing my phone and emailing my boss behind my back?’
He sighs and rolls his set jaw. ‘I wanted you to have space, away from me, away from all the shit that I brought on you. Time to think about whether you want to be with me. I want to give you the chance to walk away.’
‘Bullshit! You’re not giving me a chance; you’ve sent me halfway across the fucking world. What is there to think about, Gregory? I love you. Everything bad has gone away. Why now? Why after last night? I thought… I thought…’
‘Last night was selfish, I know. And I’m sorry. I wasn’t ready to lose you. I wanted you to have one night, and… I wanted to have one night. I wanted you to have the fairy tale you deserve.’
I snort and shake my head. ‘I deserve? When are you going to realise thatyoudeserve ittoo?’
He takes a deep breath and furrows his brow, looking almost pained.
‘Scarlett, there’re things that you don’t know about me and if you knew them, you wouldn’t want to be with me. You’d run.’
‘Is that what this is about? Are you afraid if I know, I’ll leave you? Because, Gregory, I don’t want to go anywhere or be with anyone else.’
He pulls his fingers tightly through his hair. ‘No! Damn it, Scarlett, you should go. Can’t you see that’s exactly why things had to be this way?’
‘So I have no option but to leave.’
He lifts his chin and looks blankly at me. The lost boy from my dreams.
‘Tell me. If this is about giving me space to realise I want to be with you despite whatever it is you won’t tell me, explain. Make me understand. Tell me what I need to know to make up my mind.’
He stares. Unrelenting. Silent.
‘No. Because this is about me leaving you, Gregory. Call it how it is. You don’t want me to think and decide to be with you. You want me to go. For good.’
He reaches out to me and for the briefest moment, I think I see panic on his face. ‘I do want to tell you and God, Scarlett, I want to love you. Each time you’ve looked at me, desperate for me to tell you I love you, I’ve wanted to. It’s broken my heart to hear you say it and not say it back to you.’
