‘Well I don’t know, do I? Have you had unprotected sex?’
‘I’m on the pill; you know I am.’ She slumps back down in her seat and rubs her chin with the tips of her fingers. ‘I missed one or two pills but I took them the next day; I doubled up. That’s fine, right?’
‘I’m sure it is. Calm down. Let’s go to the pharmacy after work. You can come back to the Shard and take a test.’
She nods her head quickly. ‘Gregory won’t be there, will he?’
‘We’ll go at five thirty on the dot. He’ll still be working.’
We could’ve caught the bus or the Tube but Amanda’s legs turned to jelly in the pharmacy and I didn’t think they’d carry her to a station, so I hailed a black cab instead and settled her into the back, pale-faced and silent. I try to check in with Gregory but wind up leaving a message on his voicemail to tell him I’m already on my way home and I was just wondering whether the CPS or John Harrison had called. I know they haven’t, otherwise I would’ve heard from him, but I really wanted to make sure Amanda and I had the all-clear to go back to the apartment without interruption.
We line the three different brands of pregnancy tests along the breakfast bar. Fortunately, Amy’s left for the day. I read the boxes as Amanda concentrates on breathing and sipping her water on a stool. This is alien to me. Some test within hours,some within a day, the pale-blue boxed test takes a week for an accurate result.
‘I assume this means a week from conception, rather than having to hold the pee stick for a week?’ I internally laugh at my own joke but it doesn’t seem to register with Amanda. She continues to stare into the distance over the rim of her glass, oblivious to the fact her hand is gently cupping her stomach.
‘Are you ready?’ I ask. ‘They seem straightforward. Pee on the stick and wait.’
‘I can’t, Scarlett. I can’t do it. What if Iampregnant? Pops would kill me.’
‘Amanda,ifyou’re pregnant, your dad won’t kill you. In any event, you’re a grown woman; he really has no say in things.’
She flips her head to look at me. ‘No say in whether I keep it, you mean?’
‘Amanda, that’s not what I said. We don’t evenknowwhether you’re pregnant. Come on.’ I scoop up the three sticks, leaving the confusing boxes and instructions behind, and hold out my hand, guiding her across the lounge to the downstairs bathroom.
I look around the room, remembering the violence that took place in here just over two weeks ago. The mirror that was broken and used by Pearson to stab Gregory has been replaced. Everything looks normal. I shake away the thoughts of that night as I close the door behind us. ‘Okay, you need to control your pee; don’t blurt it all out in one go. You need to trickle and swap these in and out.’
She sighs, lifts up her dress, pulls her black thong to her knees and sits down on the seat. ‘I’ve got stage fright,’ she says, looking down between her legs as if it might encourage the stream.
‘You’ve taken a pee with me a thousand times; just do it. Here.’ I wave the first test at her, then the second and the third.
‘Done.’ She holds the wet sticks out for me to take.
‘Youarejoking. There’s no way I’m touching those things. Sharing a bathroom is one thing. Fondling your pee sticks is a whole other level.’
She laughs. It’s a nervous laugh but it’s a laugh nonetheless and I’ll take anything to lighten the tension. She lies the sticks face up on the marble sink and washes her hands.
‘Right. So now we just wait?’ she asks.
‘Yep.’ I lift myself up to sit on the marble unit next to the sticks and Amanda lowers the lid on the toilet seat, then perches herself on top.
All our years of knowing each other and I can’t think of a thing to say. I bounce my foot anxiously and cross and uncross my legs as the seconds tick by.
‘I know you must be wondering,’ Amanda says, staring at the marble floor tiles.
‘I’m not.’ I am.
‘If Iampregnant, I do know who the father is.’ She lifts her head now to look at me.
‘Williams.’
She nods subtly, then looks at her watch. Ten seconds. We both move to stand in front of the tests, staring as the marks appear.
‘What do they mean? Scarlett, what do they mean?’
I stare at the developed lines. All three sticks in agreement. Then I turn to look at my wide-eyed friend.
‘You’re pregnant.’
