I just don’t know how to brush off all the different emotions I’m experiencing.
I’m scared because I’ve fallen in love with my gorgeous, sweet, and generous husband, and I have no idea if he feels the same way. Instead of being honest with him, I’m waiting for him to say it first. Like this is high school or something.
I should know better than that.
Hell, I should be better than that.
I hate the feeling that I’m holding back emotionally because I’m afraid he’s going to leave me once the baby comes and he realizes that the distance between us is too much. I keep trying to believe in him, in us, but since that encounter with Sherry the self-doubt is slowly starting to overwhelm me.
Now that I have these extra days with him, I want to make the most of them, find a way to bare my soul. Maybe if I can tell him my fears—and anxieties and insecurities—we can work through some of them together. I don’t know that I have anything to lose because the worst-case scenario for me is him leaving. It doesn’t matter if it happens now or six months from now or ten years from now—it will suck if it happens so I might as well do what I can to build a solid foundation.
And I think I have to start by opening up about everything.
There’s a lot going on this afternoon, but we should have time tonight, when we go to bed, to talk.
I’m jolted back to the present as the limo slows to a stop and everyone starts to get out.
“Welcome!” Casey Hart is standing a few feet away and I’m momentarily starstruck.
Even though I’m not a big fan of rock music, my mother always was, and you’d have to be living under a rock not to know the name Casey Hart. The fact that she’s now actual royalty, and standing less than ten feet away from me, is mind-boggling.
We’re all introduced and then we’re shown to our suites. Ours is more like a studio apartment, with a separate sitting area, kitchenette, and a shower that’s bigger than my entire bathroom.
“This is magnificent,” I whisper, looking around.
“Pretty cool, huh?” He pulls me close. “And look—a new bed for us to break in.”
I laugh. “Has that been the goal of this tour? Breaking in a different bed every couple of nights.”
“Isn’t it?” he deadpans.
“Probably.” I look around. “Do you know what we’re doing this afternoon?”
“They’re taking us into the city center for a little sightseeing. Then we’ll come back here for dinner.”
“Could we make it an early night?” I ask softly.
“Sure.” He looks alarmed. “Are you okay? Do you need?—”
“I’m fine,” I interrupt. “I just want a little down time together before you do this amazing show. Tomorrow’s going to be a busy day.”
“Absolutely.” He kisses me. “Let me know when you’re done and we’ll come back, even if the others aren’t ready.”
As always, he’s the most considerate guy I’ve ever known.
And that’s why I want to do everything I can to make this marriage work.
We spend a wonderful afternoon in Hiskale, the capital of Limaj, and get back to the palace around seven. There’s a buffet dinner set up in some kind of ballroom, and it’s fun to be here with not just the band, but Nobody’s Fool, their significant others, Sasha, and her extended family. I didn’t realize that Tyler has an identical twin named Marcus, who’s one of the elite bodyguards to the king, here at the palace.
“Normally, I worry about how much I eat,” I say as I sit down with a heaping plate of food, “but not with all the walking we’ve been doing!”
“Today was epic!” Lexi says, sinking down next to me. “But I never gain weight in Europe. It’s the craziest thing, but I can have ice cream every day and never gain an ounce. At home, I just have to look at ice cream and I gain two pounds.”
“The food is different here,” Ryleigh says. “They don’t allow GMOs in Europe, and everything is fresher.”
“Whatever it is, I like it,” Lexi says.
“Where’s Zane?” I ask, referring to her ten-month-old son.
