Tate
I’m a dumbass.
I didn’t do anything wrong, but for Summer to show up and see a bunch of women hanging on me—that’s fucked up. A mistake I won’t make again. In my head, I’m so uninterested in other women the optics didn’t occur to me.
They will now.
That was close.
I don’t know how I would’ve fixed this if Graham hadn’t rushed outside to tell me Summer was here and upset. I owe him a big one. Of course, he’s just stuffed half of a chocolate peanut butter pie in his mouth so that’s probably his reward.
“Your engagement video has gone viral,” Ryleigh says the next day on the bus.
I look down at her phone’s screen, and sure enough, there I am on one knee with Summer looking a bit like a deer in the headlights. It gets sweet after that, and our kiss is way more than sweet.
But damn, this isn’t how I planned it in my head.
I hoped we would be alone, or maybe a nice dinner or something. In my defense, I didn’t know she was coming.
Our schedule has been all over the place, but Sasha had to throw it together at the last minute after the Karnal Death tour fell apart. She had a hell of a time finding clubs with openings, so it was hard to get them in any geographical order. We’ve been north, south, east, west, and everywhere in between for the entire summer.
But now it’s almost over.
Three more gigs, a few days off, and then Mick and Taryn’s wedding, followed by…mine. I haven’t told my parents—I don’t really care what they think—but at some point I’ll have to tell them about the baby. Summer is going to be showing soon and Sasha said we’ll probably have to do a press release. Otherwise, the media could find a way to spin it and that would mean journalists might go looking for Summer to get the scoop.
And that’s the last thing she needs.
Not that we have anything to hide, but I don’t want there to be any added stress. We have enough coming up with the European tour. Opening for Nobody’s Fool is huge for us so I have to go, but I’ve been wracking my brain trying to think of ways to make it easier on Summer.
So far, all I’ve come up with is giving her money.
Money to cover her bills so she doesn’t have to work as many hours at the diner.
Money for doctors’ appointments.
And health insurance. Sasha said if we get married any time in September, it will go into effect on the first of October. And Summer’s obstetrician has been great, only charging us the minimum while we wait for it to take effect.
“I look ridiculous,” Summer mutters, shaking her head. “My eyes are huge. Like I’m scared or something.”
“Surprised,” I correct, playfully nudging her. “And you look beautiful.”
“I’ve already gotten texts from Dolly and Sylvie,” she says, chuckling. “They’re amused because, you know, I already bought the dress and stuff.”
“And I’m looking forward to seeing it,” I whisper against her ear, gratified to see goose bumps break out on her skin.
Our sex life is off the charts, and that’s been a huge bonus in this. Now that she’s starting to feel better, and mornings aren’t so rough, she’s been as insatiable as I am. And it’s gone a long way in solidifying our bond. It’s the one time where she doesn’t have barriers up, so I can reach her emotionally.
Truth be told, my feelings for her aren’t forced. I don’t feel like a man who’s being put in a situation he doesn’t want to be in because he made a mistake. An unplanned pregnancy. Having to do the right thing. That’s not what this is. Not for me anyway. We’re dating, in a relationship, such that it is with the distance between us.
Not only that, but she keeps her feelings a lot more closeted, like she still doesn’t trust me completely, and I understand it. I just wish it was different.
Maybe once we’re married, she’ll feel more secure, but I know the upcoming European tour is weighing on her. Because if she needs something—if she needs me—I’m going to be really far away.
She still doesn’t know I’m planning to fly her to London, though, so I hope that helps.
There are a lot of moving pieces right now and I’m trying to juggle them all while playing to the best of my ability and staying engaged with the band. That’s been the struggle for me, trying to figure out who I am now.
Because I’m not the same as before.
